


Follow the Sun

by Skeletical



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Teen AU, its uhhhh gay, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-04-26 20:16:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14409789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeletical/pseuds/Skeletical
Summary: Dwight isn't popular at school. He isn't popular anywhere, actually. That's just how it is and he knows that so it's best to keep his head down and not attract any attention. Jake, on the otherhand, is more popular than he'd like and he's really craving some peace and quiet.Self-indulgent teen AU for Dwake.





	1. Intentions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lust/gifts).



> So, you know how every fandom has that teenage au thing? Lust and I were thinking that Dwake needed some and so we got to thinking and I just couldn't help myself. She drew some amazing art for it too which you should definitely go check out here: [](<div%20class=)<http://alternatiivi.tumblr.com/post/173226284826/hawke-enthusiast-and-i-came-up-with-a-dumb-teen>

_**Chapter 1 - Intentions** _

 

Dwight had never hoped that this day dream of his would ever become reality. He’d wished for it, sure, but in the same way that someone who knew Santa Claus isn’t real would wish for a big and impossible present. You knew it wouldn’t happen, really, but asking couldn’t hurt.

 

It’d been a few months ago now and Dwight can’t begin to thank the heavens and the universe and sweet Lady Fortune for what transpired in that classroom on that fateful day. It’d been a day like any other; Dwight had reluctantly gotten out of bed. Gotten ready for school even more reluctantly and was practically dragging his feet as he left the dinner table that he’d had breakfast at by himself to go put on his jacket. His only companion, as usual, a note from his mother saying that she and his father would be home late that evening and that there were leftovers in the fridge. After that Dwight, in typical Dwight fashion, had gotten onto the school bus, kept his gaze down and head ducked as he sat down in a spot in the middle of the bus.

 

The middle was invisible, you see. The front, you’d get noticed, the back? That was cool kids who didn’t play by the rules. No one ever noticed the middle. And Dwight, at sixteen, didn’t want to be noticed. Well- he wanted to be noticed by people with good intentions. Friendly people. But none of them ever noticed him. And Dwight would rather not be seen by the rest; those who liked to pick on him for no reason at all. No reason that he could come up with, anyway.

 

The bus ride, as usual, was uneventful as long as he sat in that middle spot, looking out the window and staying silent. His first few periods had also been the same. Him, sitting in the corner of the room, as far away from the teacher as possible. And not because he was going to pass notes to his friends and be rowdy and didn’t want to caught. No, those people sat at the left of the room. He sat to the right; against the wall on the hallway side. Hidden, unnoticed. Invisible. The teacher wouldn’t ask him questions that he couldn’t answer and no one could look at him. It was better that way.

 

Then third period rolled around. Dwight had sat down in the same spot he always did; back right. The table beside him was free, as it always was. The tables were paired in this classroom, making the emptiness even more noticeable to him and it hurt. It wasn’t really a hurt he wasn’t used to at this point, but still. Felt like being stung in a sore spot. Today, the lesson wasn’t normal though. _Unusual._ The teacher wasn’t doing anything to keep the students quiet or even in their seats; still too busy preparing, Dwight guessed. He cast a glance along the room and sighed into his hand as he saw one particular table crowded by other students. The guy sat in the chair looked put off and, as far as Dwight could tell, very tired. His friends, or what the teen assumed were the other’s friends anyway, were talking animatedly, using their hands and being loud. One girl touched his shoulder and Dwight felt a pang of jealousy. It was - or felt - irrational. He didn’t want a relationship. He just wanted… friends. Someone to touch him casually at all. Maybe just a hug from his parents.

 

All he could do, though, was avert his gaze from the scene. No sense in getting himself upset over something he wouldn’t have anyway. He turned his attention to the book in front of him, taking a quiet breath as he opened it. He hadn’t in a while; hadn’t done the homework for lack of motivation and honestly, it was the first time in two weeks that he’d even attended this class. Thankfully his schedule had changed, but still last week, he had a free period before this one and it made him an easy target for others to harass. So Dwight usually ended up hiding somewhere away from his peers and missed his next class because of it.

 

He frowned as he turned a couple pages, scanning some paragraphs hastily.

 

He didn’t get it at all.

 

Before he could really mull it over though, he heard the chair beside him scrape along the floor and then as he looked up, he saw the guy from earlier falling into the chair. Dwight had managed to blink dumbly, looking between the other and his surprised friends. He’d been spacing out so he had no idea what just happened and his brain was having trouble to figure out _why_ his classmate was suddenly sitting beside him. His heart pounded in anticipation. He didn’t even know his name. Was he going to say something? … Was he here to make fun of Dwight?

 

The silence between them stretched on and the other teen didn’t even turn to look at him. Instead, he seemed to resolutely stare ahead at the front of the classroom. Well… Dwight would take what he could get. He breathed out quietly in relief, hoping to calm his heart. Maybe the other just wanted to get away from those other students. Dwight could understand that. Even though he, himself, would love to have friends.

 

After that, the teacher had started the lesson, and when it ended, his day carried on as usual. Dwight decided not to dwell on it, at the time.

 

The next time, though, he had been just as surprised to see the same guy head for him immediately. Again, he had sat down without saying anything and Dwight figured that their mutual silence was a friendly one, at least. Secretly, he enjoyed just sitting next to someone, so he made no move to possibly deter the other from sitting down next to him the next two times after that either.

 

Then, when the fifth time rolled around, Dwight managed to just smile in greeting at the other teen, who he had discovered, was named Jake. Mr. Macmillan had asked him a question once which Jake had merely shrugged at and hadn’t been able to answer. Dwight could relate to that deep down, although he wished he didn’t. He liked economics, felt that if he put more effort into it, he could actually be good at it. Could actually understand it. That fifth time though, that fifth time was really what had made Dwight happier than he had been in that school building in… well… ever, actually. Macmillan had announced a project they would work on; to be done by the students in pairs of two and to be handed in two weeks. Dwight had already mentally prepared himself to either do the project by himself or be paired up with a reluctant student by Macmillan. Instead, though, he watched as Jake turned to look at him for the first time and actually _spoke_ to Dwight.

 

“Want to be my partner?” He had asked and if Dwight hadn’t been so damn surprised, he was sure he would’ve pinched himself in disbelief. To see if he was dreaming.

 

Someone actually _wanted_ to work with him! Voluntarily! He’d stared at Jake then, his heart pounding in his chest at the prospect of maybe, just… just maybe getting a friend out of his. He was too afraid to hope, but… When he didn’t immediately reply though, Jake had raised an eyebrow at him and that was enough to knock Dwight out of his stupor.

 

"You-" He had to clear his throat as his voice broke over that first word, “Uh- are you sure? I’m not… great at economics.” He admit, mentally kicking himself for it already. Of course Jake wouldn’t want to work with someone who didn’t understand the material at all! Stupid!

 

“Yeah. I don’t really care. I’m not, either.”

 

Dwight almost felt like a dumbass but those words… however flat they may be, those words made him  so incredibly happy.

 

“Okay.” He’d agreed, “Okay. I’m sure we can figure it out together.”

 

So they worked together. Over the course of those two weeks, they’d worked together in the library. And like Dwight had said, they had figured it out. And although Dwight had done most of the figuring out, they still did it together and just being able to say that he had one good academic experience felt like the world to Dwight. To his surprise, Jake and he had actually gotten along during the project, despite the fact that the other teen didn't talk much. So when Jake, during class, actually started talking to him casually, Dwight could’ve died happy. Jake had, again, admitted to not understanding the material of that week and Dwight saw an opportunity there that he was determined to make use of.

 

“We can study together, if you want.” He’d suggested, subtly wiping his sweaty palm on his jeans, hoping that Jake hadn’t noticed. He half-expected the other to reject the idea, though. Sure, Jake was still insistent on sitting beside him during class instead of the popular clique who he _obviously_ belonged to (or had, anyway) but that didn’t mean he wanted to hang out with Dwight. Besides,  he’d never expressed any desire to get better at economics…

 

Jake, on his part, had looked at Dwight and actually, _actually_ smiled at him, “Yeah, you’re good at this stuff,” _A compliment?!_ “Got time today?”

 

Holy shit.

 

Dwight’s heart fluttered in his chest and under the table, he gripped his jeans in a fist. It was probably stupid to admire someone’s smile like that, but holy shit. Dwight felt overwhelmed and he briefly wondered if he’d made a mistake. Pushing through, though, he nodded, “Yeah… Library after sixth period?”

 

A nervous smile forced its way onto Dwight’s mouth and in return Jake’s had turned into a grin as he turned back to look at the blackboard with a simple, “It’s a date.”

 

That had been a few weeks ago. Now, as was their usual planning on Thursdays, Jake and Dwight sat in the school library together as per usual. The friends (because that’s what they were now, friends!) were leaning on the table, heads resting on their hands as they stared at their books. Or well, Dwight was staring at his book, trying his best to understand what was written there. Jake had given up on it about twenty minutes ago and was by now waiting for Dwight to explain it to him. They had moved on from just economics and were actually discussing other subjects together now too and it made Dwight feel irrationally happy. Their meetings were always limited to school related things and they never actually left the school building but it didn’t make it feel any less like a friendship to Dwight.

 

A friend.

 

Dwight had a friend. The thought of it alone was enough to bring a smile to his face and he sat up a little. Focus. History.

 

“I thought Rosetta Stone was that black lady on the back of the bus.”

 

Dwight’s head practically whipped around at Jake’s words. The teen seemed unbothered by his own statement, his head still resting in his hand as his elbow rested on the table.

 

A laugh bubbled up from Dwight’s chest and he couldn’t stop it before it passed his lips. He sat further back in his chair, pushing his glasses up to the top of his head as he laughed, his hand rubbing at his eyes as he prayed that he wouldn’t end up crying. He didn’t want to end up in hysterics in the middle of the damn library with Jake fucking Park sitting next to him looking as if he’d said the most normal thing in the universe.

 

Dwight refused to look at Jake, shaking his head as he calmed down from the laughing, keeping the hand at his eye. He had teared up a bit, “Holy shit.” He muttered then snickered when Jake nudged him in the side.

 

“Don’t be an ass.” Is what he got in return but when he looked over, Jake was grinning at him.

 

Dwight could only shake his head again, rolling his eyes at his friend (friend!), “I can’t believe you confused the Rosetta stone and Rosa Parks.”

 

Jake shrugged in reply, saying nothing for a moment before he spoke up, “Good thing I got you then.”

 

He just smiled at that, ignoring how his heart felt like it was going to burst by the sheer fondness he thought he could hear in those words. He turned his attention back to the book once more, “Sure, but I still don’t get this.”

 

“That’s okay,” Jake said, “I’m sure we can figure it out together.”


	2. Dream with Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a sunny day, why should they waste it inside?

It had been hard enough to convince his father to let him go to a ‘regular’ high school, and although he had managed it, Jake had never been particularly fond of the place. Rather, he held a dislike for it and the people there. It wasn’t as if he was unpopular (although he wouldn’t have minded if he had been) but he felt that the only reason these kids wanted to be friends with him was because they knew who he was. Or more, who his family was and what that entailed. They saw a possibility to exploit through Jake and maybe he couldn’t exactly blame them, he did despise them. None of these people around him, none them who called themselves his friends, had ever had a proper conversation with Jake. He didn’t know anything about them and they didn’t know anything about him personally. That wasn’t what a friend was supposed to be. So, Jake wasn’t unpopular but he didn’t have any friends. He had people hanging around him, trying to convince him that they were friends. But he knew better. And he had gotten fed up with it.

Jake was glad that he had gotten sick of the fakes because sitting in the library was steadily becoming his favourite thing to do. As long, of course, as Dwight was sitting with him. Actually, he wouldn’t mind being anywhere with Dwight. He’d like it anyway. Dwight was his friend, his proper friend, who knew him. Who talked to him as if he was a person and Jake appreciated that. He liked that about Dwight. To him, it was unimaginable why nobody had tried to befriend Dwight sooner. But maybe, secretly, Jake was glad about it. It made him feel bad because he didn’t wish it on the other teen but… He did know that if Dwight would’ve had a clique, Jake hadn’t had sat down next to him in economics. They would’ve never talked. 

“Are you even listening?” 

Jake looked up from his book, his eyes having been staring without seeing the actual letters. He turned his gaze to his friend, blinking at him slowly to indicate that no, he hadn’t been listening. Rather than opening his mouth and speaking. 

Dwight didn’t seem too bothered. Instead he heaved a sigh, faking exasperation at Jake’s lack of attention. They both knew he didn’t mind. It made the corners of Jake’s mouth tug up ever so slightly as he watched Dwight push his glasses back up his nose before he started to repeat his explanation. 

Jake tuned it out easily. He’d had enough practise from living with his father and brother who both enjoyed lecturing him on everything they could possibly think of. Instead, Jake focused on Dwight’s eyelashes. They were long and dark and honestly, the way they accented the other teen’s grey eyes was unfair. It was too distracting. Jake wondered if it was a good thing that Dwight was practically blind without his glasses; they were the only thing that kept Jake’s attention from drifting to his friend’s eyes too often. 

That was probably too telling. Jake chose not to dwell on that. 

“… So that’s why you get 465 instead of 683. Get it?” 

Jake didn’t get it. 

“Yeah, okay.”

Dwight seemed proud though and Jake was happy enough with that. To be honest, Jake didn’t want to bother with studying too much. Just enough to pass his tests. Just to pacify his father. He knew he wouldn’t be able to satisfy, so this was the closest he was going to get. Jake breathed in through his nose quickly, chasing away the thoughts before anxiety could grip at his heart. 

“Hey…” He started in the silence that followed after Dwight’s explanation, “Should we hang out outside of school sometime?” He wondered aloud, his gaze sliding from his friend’s somewhat startled expression to the window next to their usual table. “I’ve got a car. Can drive us anywhere.” 

Dwight said nothing and Jake didn’t bother to poke at him; he knew the other well enough by now to just wait for the teen to collect his thoughts and put them in order. So he waited. 

“Anywhere?” Dwight’s voice drifted quietly across the short distance between them and Jake couldn’t help another smile at the question. 

“Sure.” 

It was quiet in the school’s library. It was a sunny day and most classes were already over. It made sense that most students would vacate the building as quickly as they could. Jake wanted to go outside. The grass looked so green and inviting… It was practically begging to be laid on. In his mind’s eye he could already see the two of them sitting in the grass. Or well, Dwight sitting on the grass and Jake lying beside him. Maybe with his head on his friend’s leg. That’d be nice. 

“Where would we even go?” Dwight asked and Jake shrugged in response. 

“The park.” He replied easily before he sat up, picking up his bag. The action seemed to startle Dwight once more because he froze, his eyes widening at Jake. 

“Wh- right now?” 

“Sure. Why not? C’mon, I’ll even take you back home. It’s too nice out to be in here.” The teen got to his feet as he spoke, moving to put his books back in the backpack. “I can practically taste the dust in this damn room.” He didn’t need to look at Dwight to know that surprise was etched onto his face. After a moment though, Dwight seemed to snap out of his stupor and followed Jake’s example. Albeit a lot slower, as if he was reluctant. 

Jake hoped he hadn’t overstepped an unspoken boundary between them by suggesting what he had. 

When Dwight zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, he turned to Jake and smiled at him, “You’re talkative today. It’s nice. You- uh, you should talk more. If you want.” 

Jake looked at his friend then turned to the exit, gesturing for him to follow before he replied, “S’posed to be silent in a library.”

Dwight laughed and they both shot a wary look at the librarian at the desk, who cleared their throat pointedly while looking at them with exasperated disdain. Jake, on his part, couldn’t find it in himself to feel ashamed. Instead he grinned at Dwight and left the library, taking a deep breath as his feet crossed the threshold and he heard the doors click shut behind them. He turned to look at his friend, one hand in his pocket.

“Ready to go?” His fingers were already wrapped around the car-keys. 

“I mean- yeah, okay.” Dwight replied his lips tilting upwards in an unsure smile. Jake nudged the other in the arm gently, hoping to reassure him. 

Their departure from the school building was quick and brisk but when they reached Jake’s car, Dwight paused, “It’s brand new.” He said with a hint of awe in his voice, “I thought kids our age only drove beat up cars.”

It was Jake’s turn to look uncomfortable as he unlocked the doors, his fingers brushing the grey paint of the car before he pulled on the handle, “Guess I’m just lucky.” He replied, hating how he averted his gaze from his friend as he said it. One day, he might actually tell Dwight about his home situation. It wasn’t… shameful or anything. He was just wary about how other would react to it. Jake would hate to lose his only true friend over his damn family. 

Dwight, to Jake’s relief, didn’t reply and got into the passenger seat. The teen heaved a quiet sigh before he followed his example and got into the car, tossing his bag into the backseat. 

In silence, he turned on the engine and pulled out of the parking lot, fingers tapping the steering wheel mindlessly. After a couple minutes, Dwight shifted before he reached over to turn on the radio, looking for a channel that had actual good music. Jake glanced at it briefly and it caught Dwight off guard apparently because he dropped his arm at the look before he spoke up, “Sorry, I just thought- did I mess up your- uhhhh. Sorry.” 

Jake had anticipated a reaction like that, but he had really hoped Dwight would’ve been a little more confident. “It’s fine. Pick anything, I don’t mind.” 

That seemed to perk Dwight up enough for him to continue his search on the radio. When he found a song he liked, he sat back and Jake hummed along to it quietly, keeping his eyes on the road. 

“…. Take on me…” The teen sang quietly under his breath. 

“Take me on…” 

Jake turned to look at his friend and grinned widely at the look he received in return; although Dwight’s cheeks were tinted a slight pink, he was smirking at Jake. 

“I’ll be gone…” He continued, waiting to see if Dwight would as well right before the both of them burst out in song, trying to reach the next high notes. 

“In a day or TWOOOOOO!” They practically screamed into the car and Jake couldn’t help the laugh that followed after, he had to turn his gaze back to the road but he could see, from the corner of his eye, Dwight’s little arm gestures as he danced along to the beat. 

Un-fucking-believable. If Jake hadn’t seen it, he would’ve thought that Dwight didn’t have it in him. But here they were. Jamming to Take On Me on a sunny day, on their way to the park. Seemed like life didn’t have to be that bad. 

The rest of the drive continued on in the same manner, the two of them singing along to whatever songs they could find on the radio and laughing at squeaks that may or may not have come out of their throats once or twice. 

Jake almost felt reluctant to kill the engine when he parked the car, despite the fact that his throat felt a little raw. He hadn’t sung so loudly in a very long time and it felt good. He wiped away a quick tear, a remnant of his previous laughter, before he finally turned the key and took it out. 

“I didn’t know you could even raise your voice, Jake.” Dwight teased as he moved to get out of the car, opening the door with one hand as the other clasped his bag. 

“Dunno why’d you say that, to be honest.” Jake said with a shrug as he got out as well, leaving his bag where it was. He doubted he was going to bother with any studying material in this weather. 

“You just always sound so bored.”

“Must be my company.” Jake faked a huff, attempting to hide a grin when Dwight laughed at that. 

They shook their heads at each other and set out to find a quiet spot in the park. It was full of other people, trying to enjoy the first nice weather of the year. Jake assumed that they’d best find a little place far away from anyone else; neither one of them seemed to be fond of crowds. 

“How about there?” 

Jake was pulled out of his thoughts as Dwight spoke up and he turned his head to follow the direction the other teen was pointing in. They’d walked for a bit and it had gotten quieter with every step they took and now it seemed they had found their perfect spot. It was hidden from most of the rest of the park behind some hedges but a nearby tree prevented the warming sun from beating down on the spot too much. Rather than saying anything, as usual, Jake merely headed for patch of grass. He stood there for a moment, looking around before he lifted his head to look up at the tree’s branches, smiling as some sunrays still made it through the leaves to warm up small parts of his face. 

Dwight had followed him and sat down beside him but just on the edge of the shade. He seemed to prefer the sun to shine on him and Jake smiled at the sight of Dwight enveloped in sunlight. He sank to the ground, sitting cross-legged beside his friend as he looked up at the blue sky, watching as the clouds drifted over lazily. 

Their silence was a comfortable one and as Dwight opened up his bag to retrieve his book once more, Jake revelled in the feeling of the grass between his fingers under his hands. He loved the outdoors. The chirping of birds further up ahead helped him to forget his worries and he shifted to sit perpendicular to Dwight. The teen in question looked up curiosity as Jake turned his back towards him but he leaned back a little on his arm when the other moved to lie down, his head coming to rest on Dwight’s thigh. Just as he had imagined. 

Neither one of them spoke, despite the fact that Dwight’s cheeks were warming up. Jake stared up at the sky before he shut his eyes entirely. 

“Don’t tell me you’re taking a nap.” Dwight murmured and Jake smiled slightly. The leaves rustled and the sunlight on his face danced. He was comfortable. 

“I might.”

Dwight said nothing to that but Jake heard a quiet sigh coming from above him somewhere. His smile turned into a small grin. He waited for Dwight to settle, feeling him shift to find a comfortable position. Dwight sat up once more, one hand holding the school book and the other lying awkwardly on the grass. Jake assumed that would be the end of it for a solid heartbeat before he felt fingers settle on his forehead, the tips of them brushing his hairline. 

It was now Jake’s turn to blush as he remained motionless opening his eyes only to watch the clouds once more. A couple of birds flew over the two of them and Jake hummed a quiet song under his breath as Dwight started to read the text in their schoolbook aloud. His voice was quiet and relaxing though. Too relaxing for Jake to keep his eyes open. To the chirping of birds and Dwight’s reading voice, Jake drifted off to sleep, comfortable as ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got too excited and wanted to post chapter two already. Yikes!! Hope it didn't disappoint. Considering I'm already working on chapter three and four. :)


	3. Like a heavy weight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was going to make an effort.

 

Dwight sat there in the grass, enjoying the spring sun as his fingers lightly brushed along his friend’s black hair. He refrained from truly carding his fingers through because, well, that felt like crossing a line just too soon.

 

His attention had long since drifted from the history book and he had put it aside when he realised Jake had fallen asleep. No point in reading it to a sleeping person, he supposed. And he wasn’t much of a study freak himself; the only reason he’d been so persistent with it was because somewhere he still thought that it was the only reason Jake even wanted to hang out with him. With the teen dozing on his leg though, he supposed he might be a tad bit wrong on that. Jake seemed determinedly disinterested in the material so Dwight really figured he could just enjoy this sunny afternoon.

 

He reached up, rubbing at his eye under his glasses. Having someone sleep on him was a foreign feeling and Dwight had never thought that having someone’s head on his leg was so heavy. But it wasn’t unpleasant. Jake was relaxed, his face slack in his sleep and Dwight felt compelled to commit it to memory.  The teen studied his friend’s face, his gaze following the shape of his eyebrows only to drop as his eyes traced the line of his nose and lips. Dwight briefly wondered if Jake had ever been a boyfriend to someone but he had a hard time imagining it. Jake just didn’t seem the type.

 

Then again, what would Dwight know? He’d only been friends with the other for a couple of months now (not that he’d been counting) and they had never really spoken about the truly personal things. It was just an impression Jake had left on Dwight with how aloof the other teen could be.

 

Maybe that wasn’t fair. Jake was - despite everything Dwight had always thought when he’d just observed the more popular teen in class – actually kind. His gestures were usually small, but they were enough for Dwight to take notice of them.  A cup of coffee here, a gifted box of pens there, a small touch to his arm when Dwight was overthinking things to pull him out of his own head. All tiny things that Jake did for Dwight without ever mentioning it.

 

Jake wasn’t a bad person.

 

Dwight smiled slightly as he thought about it. Whoever Jake would date would be lucky, in Dwight’s opinion. His friend wouldn’t exactly lavish them with attention, but he’d be there for them. Dwight was sure of that. He’d be there and he’d be good.

 

Dwight doesn’t immediately notice his fingers breaching the other’s hairline. Too wrapped up in his own thoughts to think about what his hands are doing.

 

He imagines sitting in the park on a day just like this, with Jake and a third person. A third person who’s in the same position Dwight is in right now, running their hand through Jake’s black locks as their other hand tugs at the grass where it lies beside them. Enjoying the sun on their face, knowing very well that the light is reflected on their glasses. Dwight can’t visualise an exact face, but he knows exactly where he, himself, is in this daydream. He’s sitting beside them, third-wheeling but happy to do so. Imaginary Jake had asked him to come along, after all, and with just a bit more imagination, Dwight made it so that this novel person was Dwight’s friend as well.

 

A bird flew up out of the tree he was sitting under and seeing the branches move so suddenly, Dwight blinks himself out of his dream. He glances up at the tree before he looks down, almost startled to find his hand in Jake’s hair. He, very carefully and a little disgruntled with himself, takes the offending appendage back and pointedly puts it behind himself in the grass as he leans back on his arms. Jake is, thankfully, still asleep and Dwight is all the more thankful for it.

 

Still, Dwight reflects, he wouldn’t mind the scenario he just pictured in his head. Having more friends was never a problem to Dwight. He hoped that if it ever happened that it’d be like his vision. That’d be nice.

 

Time has clearly passed, the sun has moved from her position high in the sky and there’s pinks at the horizon now. Dwight looks up at it for a few more minutes before he decides that it’s starting to cool down too substantially to stay out for much longer. That means he’s going to have to wake Jake up. Now there’s something he never thought he’d have to do, for anyone.

 

Dwight looks at his friend, unsure how to go about this task without upsetting his friend. He feels a bit helpless before he comes to the conclusion that there’s really no other way for it. So he sits up a bit, hoping that the shift and movement is enough to rouse the other teen.

 

Jake, on his turn, seemed to stir for a brief moment, his expression forming into a slight frown fleetingly before it relaxed once more. That wouldn’t be enough then, Dwight figured. He sighed, considering his options before he reached down and closed his forefinger and thumb over his friend’s nose.

 

It took only a moment before Jake’s eyes opened and confusion was plain on his face. The teen reached up and swatted Dwight’s hand away, murmuring something Dwight couldn’t quite make out, but it didn’t really matter. He doubted it was anything coherent anyway.

 

“Had a good nap?” He asked with a small grin and he really did try to keep it from growing when he got a sleepy glare in return.

 

“Yeah.” Jake muttered before he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Why’d you wake me up?”

 

“It’s getting cold and late. We should go home.” Dwight answered, although he was reluctant to return home. He already knew that all he’d be doing there was sit in his room by himself anyway. It seemed like the more responsible thing to do, though.

 

Jake heaved a heavy sigh, “Alright, I guess.”

 

Dwight wasn’t sure if it was disappointment that shot through him or something else entirely, but he actively decided to ignore it altogether. He got to his feet slowly, his leg tingling. On the verge of falling asleep, it seemed. He was quiet as he collected his book and put it back in his bag, turning his head in time to watch Jake pluck some grass and dirt off of himself.

 

Before long, the two of them had found their way back to Jake’s car and following Dwight’s directions, the other teen drove him until Dwight spoke up.

 

“You can just drop me off here. I’ll walk the rest.” He said quietly, pointedly keeping his gaze on the sidewalk outside the window. It wasn’t like he was afraid what Jake might think of his home but… No, actually, he might just be scared. No one his age had ever known where Dwight lived and maybe, somewhere deep down, he was still afraid to divulge that information. It felt stupid though, because he knew that Jake wouldn’t use that for malicious reasons. Dwight didn’t quite muster the courage to take it back now that he’d said it though.

 

Jake, although he looked to be confused and dare he even say reluctant, complied with the request.

 

“I’ll see you later.” Jake said in parting before Dwight shut the car door.

 

Dwight managed a smile and a wave at his friend before he turned his back to him and reluctantly made his way down the streets. He listened as he heard the car pull up and drove past him. His gaze followed the departing vehicle until it turned a corner and left his field of vision. With a heavy sigh, Dwight continued to walk until he reached his street. Dread tugged at him as he made his way over to his front door.

 

The lights were on in the living room, so Dwight supposed at least one of his parents were home. With a quiet sigh, he let himself into the house, hanging up his jacket in the hallway before he tried to quietly go up the stairs and to his room.

 

But his father intercepted him just as he was about to set his foot on the first step of the staircase.

 

“Dwight! You’re home!” His dad sounded surprised.

 

Dwight wasn’t entirely sure what to do with himself in this situation. Usually he was always home when his mom or dad came back from their jobs and judging by his father’s surprised expression, he wasn’t quite sure either.

 

“Uh… Yeah.”

 

“Well.” The way his father shifted the bowl of potato chips in his arms uncomfortably was enough for Dwight to understand that this wasn’t really a conversation that they were going to have. Which wasn’t new, really. Dwight doubted he ever really held conversations with his parents at all.

 

“Good on you. Welcome home.” It came out awkward, just like the smile his father tried to show him before the older man walked past Dwight and went back to watching TV on the couch.

 

Dwight muttered a ‘thanks’ under his breath, knowing that his dad hadn’t heard it and continued his way up the stairs. Maybe it would be nice to be able to just tell his father about his day, what he’d done and who he’d done it with, but that would require effort on both parties’ sides and Dwight knew that his father wouldn’t understand anyway. Not that his mother was any better.

 

It didn’t matter. Dwight was used to it.

 

He opened the door to his room, allowing his bag to slide off of his shoulder and onto the floor before he shut it behind himself. He looked around the messy room, wondering to himself why he had even bothered with waking Jake up. Sitting in the park in the cold dark with a friend was much better than this pressing loneliness that fell back onto Dwight’s shoulders now as he stood at the entrance of his shitty bedroom.

 

Fucking hell.

 

Dwight took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes and ran his hand over his face. He’d had a good day. He shouldn’t let himself ruin it like this.

 

His home just had a way of doing that for him, though.

 

Heaving a sigh, he returned his glasses to their proper place on his face before he sat down at his desk, crossing his arms on the top of it before he rest his forehead on his arms. He stared at nothing in particular, just trying to tell himself to stop being so downtrodden.

 

It wasn’t worth it. Thinking about it wouldn’t help. Just stop.

 

Just. Stop.

 

Another sigh and Dwight slumped some more. He couldn’t keep his mind from tossing the thoughts around his skull like a bouncy ball.

 

He hated it. Why did he always have to do this to himself? Even when things weren’t half-bad, even when he hadn’t encountered any bullies, even when he hadn’t been outright rejected from any sports-team he was trying to get on, and now even when he’d had a good time with his friend, Dwight still couldn’t let himself just be _happy_ with it at the end of the day. _Because he always returned to this den of misery,_ he thought to himself bitterly.

 

Dwight sat back up, looking around at the mess. Clothes were strewn around the floor, his desk only had just enough space of him to have his arms rest on it, his bed was unmade and he was pretty sure that cup had been sitting on his bedside table for a good couple of weeks now.

 

He couldn’t even keep his room clean. God, why did he _suck_ so much? Maybe everyone around him was right; maybe he wasn’t worth it.

 

_That’s not fair to Jake._

 

The phrase halted any other self-destructive reflections dead in their tracks. Dwight blinked at himself, backtracking to take a good hard look at that one thought again.

 

‘Not fair to Jake’.

 

No, it wasn’t, really, was it? Thinking that Dwight wasn’t worth it, was that an insult to his friend? It must be. _Jake_ thought he was worth it, clearly. Right? Otherwise he wouldn’t spend time with him. Not as much as he did.

 

He couldn’t keep the creeping smile from his face as Dwight tried his best to keep rolling with that train of thought.

 

So, Dwight shouldn’t think of himself like that. Because that was insulting to his _friend_. Jake wasn’t the type to waste his time on things he didn’t deem worthwhile, right?

 

Right?

 

Dwight wasn’t sure, but he would run with it. He would cling to that notion, hold it tight to his chest and run like his life depended on it. Hell, it just might.

 

A deep breath.

 

Dwight held the air in his lungs for a moment before he slowly released it and he looked around his room again.

 

He didn’t think as he got up from his chair and started collecting the clothes from the floor. He piled them onto a heap near his door before he moved on to straighten out the covers on his bed and fluff his pillow. After that, he made sure to clear the clutter from his desk, making neat rows and piles on the corners and putting away things on the shelf of his bookcase.

 

Dwight didn’t have to be a mess. He could do things properly. He could take care of himself and he could prove that he was worth every little effort Jake put into him.

 

It wasn’t fair to him, otherwise.

 

It wouldn’t be fair to himself, either.

 

Dwight kept the weight of his friend’s head on his leg in mind as he busied himself with tidying and cleaning his space.

 

He’d prove his worth. And though Jake might never know, Dwight did and that was enough for him.

 

Dwight would be better than he ever had been. He’d make an attempt again, but this time, he wouldn’t let himself go back on it. This time, he’d see it through.

 

His father was surprised to have to tell his son how to do the laundry. His mother had merely blinked at him when Dwight offered to help with cooking.

 

Yeah. This time, he’d see it through.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just not good at writing longer chapters but I'll let you in on a secret: chapter 4 is going to be on the longer side :P 
> 
> Thanks for keeping up with this hot garbage :D 
> 
> Oh, before I forget!! If you want to come talk to me about Dwake or DbD in general or you just feel like yelling at me for taking too long to update, you can find me at http://hawke-enthusiast.tumblr.com/ !! I'd love to talk to y'all :)


	4. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake needs to get out for a bit.

 

Suppressing the overwhelming desire to scream, yell and cry furious tears, Jake limited himself to slamming his bedroom door behind him. His breathing came hard and heavy as he stood in his room for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts and calm down. His gaze was trained on the floor and a frown was etched onto his brow.

 

That bastard. That fucking bastard. Jake was trying, wasn’t he? He was doing what he was supposed to do! What his dad wanted him to do! He was making more of an effort for school than he ever had and apparently that still wasn’t enough. A little improvement wasn’t enough for that greedy bastard, no! It had to be giant leaps! It had to be perfection!

 

With an angry growl, Jake rubbed his hand up and down his face forcefully. 

 

It wasn’t fair. This wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t his parents just let him live his life the way _he_ wanted? His brother was a goddamn idiot. Doing what Dad wanted… It was stupid. This was stupid.

 

Jake dropped his hand, feeling more burned out than anything. He sighed, lifting his head as he looked at his window.

 

Maybe he should just listen and do more. He lived under his parents’ roof after all. He ate their food, spent their money. The least he could do was get good grades. _Better_ grades. Get into college. Maybe Yale, like his older brother.

 

The thought alone made Jake sick to his stomach. It just didn’t seem like something for him. He swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes in an effort to keep nausea at bay. It was fine. He was fine. He’d think about this when the time was there. He hadn’t graduated yet. He still had time.

 

With a weary sigh, Jake made his way to his bed and promptly let himself fall face first onto it. After a moment of being unable to breathe, he turned his head and drew in air through his nose, staring at the wall of his room.

 

He’d been the only one getting worked up. His father had remained so infuriatingly calm it had only worked to spark more anger in the teen. And his mother… well, she’d just been looking between them, hadn’t she? Merely opened her mouth to tell Jake to calm down. Never to tell her husband to adjust his views on their son. Never that, no. God forbid she would take Jake’s side.

 

Jake grit his teeth slightly, gripping the covers in his fist until his knuckles turned white before he let go and sat up. There was no point in thinking about it. He’d fled the room, worried he might cross boundaries he couldn’t return from. He hadn’t yelled; too worried about overstepping. Too worried about the very real consequences that could bring about. Fuck. He really needed…

 

Something.

 

What did he need? Other than freedom, that is. Something was nagging at him, something else than the ear-full he’d just received.

 

Jake sat still for a moment, glancing at his door before he took his phone out of his pocket. He hesitated for a moment then dialled Dwight’s number.

 

A solid twenty seconds passed before the phone was picked up and Dwight’s voice sounded through his cell’s speaker.

 

“Jake?”

 

He sounded surprised. Jake figured that was fair. They’d never called each other before. Maybe this was a stupid idea. The teen’s gaze dropped to the floor. He’d been feeling very stupid today as it was. Might as well press on.

 

“Hey.” He replied, taking a breath to say more but falling silent instead. He wasn’t even sure what to tell his friend. “I… uh… Just needed a distraction. Did I call you at a bad time?” He murmured into the phone’s microphone, moving to lie on his bed once more. He stared up at his ceiling, hoping to ease the anxiety in his chest.

 

“Oh. No- nah, it’s fine. I wasn’t really doing anything anyway.” Dwight said and Jake could still hear the mild surprise in his voice. “Are you okay?”

 

Jake shut his eyes at the question, wondering that to himself for a moment before he huffed a quiet laugh, “I should be.” He muttered before he shook his head, “I will be.”

 

“It’s okay to not be okay.”

 

Jake smiled slightly at that because of course that was something Dwight would say.

 

“Eloquent.”

 

“Huh? You’re the one saying that to me?” The other almost sounded offended but it wasn’t more than a bit of acting, most likely to cheer up Jake and without a doubt, Jake appreciated it.

 

“I said a fancy word just now, so yeah.” He replied, smiling at just… talking with Dwight. His chest didn’t feel as tight and he felt like he could breathe properly again. The anger wasn’t at the forefront of his mind and neither was his uncertainty.

 

Dwight snorted at the other end of the line and it pulled a grin to Jake’s face, “One fancy word.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Dwight could do better in the acting department, Jake was sure of that. The tired lilt to his voice wasn’t genuine and the teen made sure to comment on it.

 

He was sure that if Dwight had been there with him, he would’ve gotten a swat to the arm for it. The idea cheered him up further and before long, Jake was grinning and laughing through the phone as the two talked about stupid things.

 

It felt nice to have a friend to talk to, to take his mind off of his parents. To not have to think about his future.

 

“So, anyway, what’re you up to? How’s your Saturday?” Jake asked after a lull in the conversation.

 

Dwight hummed in reply for a moment, probably distracted  by something before he started speaking, “Filling out job applications.” He said.

 

Jake thought about that, for the first time realising that he had never even thought about doing such a thing. Job applications? His father had discouraged him from it when he first started high school. He had to focus on his studying. All his time and all his attention should be with school.

 

“You wanna get a job?” He asked blankly.

 

“If I can. Maybe on the weekends so I can have some pocket money, y’know?” Dwight sounded like someone who had absolutely thought this through.

 

“Huh.” Jake hummed. A job. It would give him an excuse to not be home as much. A bad one at that though, if his father found out. He’d probably be forced to quit before long. Jake briefly imagined himself working at McDonald’s just to spite his family and grinned. If only.

 

“Actually, Dwight,” He started, his mind on the subject of being absent from this damn house, “Got time to hang out tonight?”

 

The line was silent for a moment before Dwight found his words, “Tonight? Why?”

 

“I want to get out for a bit. We could go see a movie. My treat.”

 

“Oh!” Jake was for a short moment very worried why Dwight sounded so relieved, “Yeah, uh- okay. Sure! I don’t- uh… Is there anything you want to see specifically?”

 

“Nah. Don’t know what’s in. We could just go for whatever’s showing when we get there? Let it be a surprise.”

 

Dwight laughed through the phone and Jake felt the corners of his mouth tug up involuntarily.

 

“You love surprises, don’t you?”

 

Jake agreed; yeah, he did.

 

The big picture was already planned out for Jake. So of course he took pleasure in the smaller, unexpected things. But he didn’t tell Dwight that. He would hate to ruin the good mood.

 

“I’ll come pick you up. What time?” Jake asked, sudden eagerness popping up in his chest. The teen sat up on his bed, his free hand reaching to tug on the leg of his jeans as he waited for his friend to reply.

 

A drawn out ‘uh’ sounded through the connection and Jake waited patiently. He glanced at the alarm next to his bed. It read 04:00 PM and the teen hoped to get out soon. The longer he was away, the better.

 

“Uhm. I guess I can get ready in ten minutes, so… Whenever is good for you?”

 

“I’m on my way. Send me your address.” Jake swung his legs over the edge of his bed, saying a quick bye to Dwight after listening to his somewhat embarrassed agreement. Dwight was odd sometimes, but Jake couldn’t say he minded it. It just came with Dwight and that was fine with him.

 

Jake had cast a quick glance at his outfit in the mirror, tugging at his button-up under his hoodie briefly before he rolled up his sleeves, threw on his shoes and with keys in his pockets, left the house. He didn’t mention where he was going to anyone; he preferred getting a lecture after the fact anyway.

 

By the time he’d gotten into his car and pulled out the driveway, Dwight had dutifully send over his address and Jake put it into his phone’s GPS before he set off. He’d never actually seen or been to his friend’s house; they rarely even hung out outside of school, but it still made Jake feel oddly giddy. He frowned a little at himself as he realised the fact, glancing at himself in the rear-view mirror. Just calm down, Jesus Christ. There was no reason to get excited about seeing somebody’s _house_. Jake leaned over and turned on the radio, distracting himself by quietly singing along to Katy Perry.

 

It turned out that the drive was only about 30 minutes from his own home, which he supposed wasn’t too bad. The neighbourhood he drove into wasn’t very much like his own at all; the houses were, for the lack of better words, average. But Jake kind of liked that. Made more sense than living in a house with too many rooms than you know what to do with, like his family did.

 

He counted the house numbers then when he got to the house he assumed was Dwight’s, he parked the car on the curb quickly before he hopped out and walked up to the door. Normally, he would’ve just sent a text or called to say he was there but… Well, Jake could be curious from time to time. So he rang the doorbell and waited.

 

After a minute or so, he heard stumbling from behind the door before the it was opened. Dwight looked flustered as he stepped out, jacket in his hand and he hurriedly pulled the door shut again. Jake inwardly stomped out the slight disappointment he felt at not even getting a peek at the interior of the hallway.

 

“Hey.” Dwight greeted him, “You didn’t have to come up all the way here, y’know. I coulda met you at the theatre.” The teen said as he slipped on his jacket and made his way over to Jake’s car.

Jake, in return, shrugged and followed him towards the vehicle, “I wanted to.” He said simply and it was the truth. He glanced at Dwight, taking note of the shake of his head before he unlocked the doors and got into the car once more.

 

“Would’ve taken you forever, anyway. You’d have to take the bus.” Jake said once they were both seated and he was pulling back onto the road. “I didn’t want to wait. Plus, this way it doesn’t cost you that precious pocket money.”

 

Dwight shook his head, “It’s not about the money. You just- I didn’t want to bother you.”

 

Jake wasn’t sure that was the entire truth but he was also not entirely sure if he wanted to be blunt and tell Dwight that. After a moment of silence between them he shook his head, “It’s no bother. I was the one asking you to come with me.”

 

“I don’t- I like hanging out with you. It’s fine.”

 

“Even when I drop it on you like that?”

 

Jake saw the answering nod from the corner of his eye, “I’m not used to going out with friends. Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not really what people call ‘cool’ or ‘popular’.”

 

The words hung in the air for a moment and despite Dwight’s attempt at keeping his voice light and joking as he spoke them, there was a soft tone of self-deprecation underneath and Jake recognised it easily enough.

 

So that was what this was about then, was it?

 

“You’re cool. Just not their cool. Nobody really wants to be _their_ cool though, trust me.” Jake said with a slight shake of his head. He’d been there and he never thought he ever see so much fakeness in just a handful of people.

 

Dwight stayed silent at that and it dragged on long enough for Jake to wager a glance at his friend with mild concern. He wasn’t sure what he saw there, in the other’s expression. Jake wished he was more versed in Dwight; wished he could recognise every minute change but he just… couldn’t. He noticed the small changes, but he couldn’t quite decipher what each of them meant just yet.

 

“Dwight?” He asked when the silence stretched on longer than Jake was comfortable with, which was something the teen was aware was very unlike himself. Considering how much he enjoyed not communicating with people.

 

He got a sigh in reply and waiting a moment longer, Dwight finally spoke up, “I know it’s stupid but… I’ve just always…” He trailed off, probably hoping that Jake would say something to interrupt him, but he actively decided not to. Clearly there was something there and Dwight needed to get it off his chest, whether he realised that or not. Jake said nothing and kept his gaze on the road.

 

Dwight struggled with his words, casting his gaze down as he tried to find the right ones to keep going.

 

“I just always thought that… if I could be that, if I could-” A pause before Dwight startled out a huff of humourless laughter, “If I could be like that, be in that group then I wouldn’t…” Dwight, once more, trailed off but his sentence just ended with a sigh and he shook his head. “I don’t know.” He said eventually, his shoulders slumping in the slightest. “I don’t know.”

 

Jake couldn’t say that he related to that sentiment at all. Rather, he’d never had trouble with being included in a group; as long as the group wasn’t his own family. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel briefly, his mind trying to find a proper response to what Dwight had just told him.

 

“You’d have friends and wouldn’t be an outcast?” He asked eventually, trying to finish the other’s thought.

 

Dwight seemed slightly startled at Jake’s question but nodded in reply nonetheless before he shrugged, “Yeah, I guess.”

 

“I don’t think whatever I say is gonna help you much, but listen-” Jake started, briefly wondering if he really wanted to get into this, “-Those people are just straight up assholes. Man, they’re ready to backstab you whenever they need to, just to keep their own appearances up. And for what? High school? We’re all a bunch of dumbass teenagers, what the hell are they thinking?” Ah shit, the rant was coming on and Jake couldn’t find the off-button on his mouth fast enough.

 

“It’s stupid. I hung out with them for three whole years and I never, _never_ talked to them about anything other than fucking gossip! I never even initiated a conversation with any of them but they decided that knowing me was good for them, so they decided we were friends and that I was cool. I doubt they even know anything about me other than my damn last name and what car I drive.” A mildly irritated hand gesture was thrown before Jake could stop himself. Somewhere in the back of his mind, his collected self was screaming at him to stop and just shut his mouth.

 

“I don’t get why it’s never enough for people to just realise that we’re all just bunch of overgrown monkeys running around and trying to live our damn lives. _Jesus Christ_ , just let us live.” He hadn’t really meant to say that. In his hurry to shut his mouth after he realised what he’d said, his jaw snapped shut and his teeth clicked.

 

Jake resolutely kept his gaze on the traffic lights, refusing to look at Dwight.

 

“I’ve never heard you say so many words in one go.”

 

The comment startled Jake. He blinked a couple times, unable to keep himself from casting that glance anyway. He saw a small, albeit unsure, grin on Dwight’s face and whatever anxiety Jake might have worked up in himself dissipated at that.

 

“Ah.” Jake said dumbly before he turned back,  clearing his throat as the light turned green. He could feel his cheeks warming though and he prayed to whatever higher being that was willing to listen that he wasn’t visibly blushing. It was stupid, he didn’t even know _why_ he was embarrassed.

 

“You’re right, though.” Dwight said when it became clear that Jake was done speaking for a while, “I know you’re right. Actually, I’m just glad you sat down next to me in class.”

 

Jake merely nodded in reply, unable to get his tongue out of its own damn knot his brain decided to tie it in.

 

“What- uh… Why-” Ah. Dwight wasn’t done talking then. Jake said nothing still, but he was waiting for Dwight’s question.

 

“- Why did you? Sit down… next to me, I mean.”

 

Well, in all honesty, there hadn’t been much of a reason to pick Dwight in particular and if there had been, then maybe it was because Jake knew that Dwight didn’t have any friends. That he figured it would be easy to sit there and deter others from trying to talk to him because Dwight was right next to him. But he very much doubted he wanted to tell his friend that. It would only work to place doubt in Dwight’s mind and that was very much _not_ what Jake wanted.

 

After a moment of silent consideration, Jake shrugged.

 

“Wanted a break from them.”

 

Dwight looked like wanted to say something more; his brow was slightly furrowed and his mouth opened briefly to voice his words but before he could, he shut his mouth again. Maybe the other teen was a lot more perceptive than Jake gave him credit for.

 

“Alright.” Dwight said and Jake suspected that it wasn’t entirely alright.

 

He wasn’t sure what to do about the situation; Dwight seemed to be in that headspace of his where only negative thoughts could be going through his mind. Jake had come to recognise that much, at least. He took a breath, shaking his head as he spoke up once more.

 

“I thought you’d be best to sit next to. Just thought you’d be… nice and quiet. No one else in class was.” He tried to explain, hoping that that was enough to keep Dwight from thinking anything bad about Jake’s intentions or their friendship. Dwight didn’t need to say anything for Jake to know that the other still had his moments of self-doubt.

 

“Not that I want you to sit there quietly now.” He added after a moment, giving a joking lilt to the tone of his voice, glancing at friend briefly.

 

Dwight smiled slightly at him, obviously not convinced, but at least he wasn’t frowning anymore. It made Jake uneasy to know that the teen was upset and he tried to think of ways to cheer Dwight up.

 

“So… What kind of movies do you like?” He asked.

 

Dwight fidgeted a little bit before he answered, “I uh… I like lots of movies. I’ve seen a bunch.” He said, managing a quiet laugh at Jake’s raised eyebrow which prompted him to continue on, “I guess my favourites are all horrors?” The way his words came out made it sound like a question and Jake couldn’t help but be a little incredulous.

 

“Horror?” He repeated, hearing the deadpan in his own voice. “You like… horror movies.”

 

“Yeah, I guess so.”

 

Dwight Fairfield, the guy everyone at school knows _of_ but no one really _knows_. The guy anyone can see is a nervous-wreck. The guy often called a ‘scaredy-cat’ behind his back. That Dwight Fairfield likes horror movies.

 

Jake really needs to adjust his worldview, apparently.

 

“Huh.”

 

“You don’t like them?” Dwight asked, mistaking Jake’s mild disbelief for apprehension.

 

“No- I uh. I don’t mind them. They’re okay.” Jake really hated that he was coming to realise that he’d been assuming things about Dwight and he desperately wanted to be better than some judgemental asshole.

 

“What do _you_ like then?”

 

Jake blinked slowly at the question, and really he should’ve expected it, but he didn’t quite have an answer for it. Sure, he watched movies. Quite often at that, too. Never doing any schoolwork gave you that kind of time. But Jake never really had a favourite kind of genre. They were either enjoyable or they weren’t, and that was all Jake really thought about it.

 

“Good movies.” He answered, quite honestly. He huffed at the laugh that his answer pulled from Dwight. “What?”

 

“Doesn’t really answer my question, Jake.” Dwight said with a smile and despite the fact that the other’s amusement was coming at Jake’s expense, he couldn’t say he minded it. As long as that frown was from his friend’s face.

 

“It’s the only answer I got, though.”

 

“You don’t have a favourite movie?” Jake had expected there to be incredulousness laced into that question, but funnily enough, Dwight’s voice was completely devoid of it. So Jake sighed and shook his head.

 

“No. I generally don’t really… care?” He said, raising an eyebrow at his own answer. He wasn’t sure if that was the right word. “It’s either good or it’s bad, man.”

 

“So why are we going to go see a random movie?”

 

“Listen-“ Jake started, ready to wipe that smug grin from Dwight’s face. He glanced over at him, almost offended at the fact that he only saw it grow on his friend’s features. “It could be good! That’d be a good experience. You can’t see the future. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me about your glasses.”

 

“Nah, they’re just thick because I’m blind as a bat.”

 

“Then just sit tight and don’t worry about it. We’re almost there anyway. Sheesh.” Jake huffed and he slumped a little when he heard the quiet laughter beside him.

 

Well. At least he’d cheered Dwight up. Hopefully enough to get him to forget about the whole thing from earlier completely. That’d be nice.

 

The last few minutes to the cinema were enjoyed in silence. Well, Jake enjoyed the silence. Dwight just seemed tickled by their previous banter. Enough to keep him from poking at Jake for now anyway. Jake would take that.

 

Once he found a parking spot for the car, he killed the engine and climbed out with no sense of rush whatsoever. The teen shut the door, looking over the hood to see his friend do the same and he couldn’t help but shoot him a smile before he activated the locks.  

 

“I haven’t gone to the cinema since I was a kid.” Dwight said in what Jake assumed to be an off-hand comment once they’re walking beside each other.

 

Jake hummed briefly, “With your parents?”

 

“No.” Jake glanced at Dwight at that, a little confused. Didn’t kids always go to the movies with their parents? Not that Jake would know, of course, but he thought that’s what normal kids did.

 

“Oh?” He tried to prompt Dwight to explain further, finding himself more curious about his friend than he ever thought he could be about any person. That was a realisation he chose to push away so that he could reflect on it at a better time. Jake fixed his whole attention on Dwight instead.

 

“Yeah, uh… No, my grandparents took me when I was little because my parents were out of town.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck which Jake mentally jotted down in his book as another one of ‘Dwight’s nervous tics’.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah. I mean- that was nice. I had fun then.”

 

Jake wasn’t sure what to say to that. He’d assumed Dwight had gone at least a few times with friends or whatever but… Maybe not. Had Dwight really never had _anyone_ to go these things with? The thought of that made Jake’s heart sink and he hated it. It was up to him then, he decided, to make sure that Dwight wouldn’t be put in a position like that again.

 

“Well, you’re gonna have fun now too.” The teen found himself saying before he thought about the words, but perhaps he didn’t mind them slipping out. “I’m in the mood for popcorn. You?”

 

Dwight looked like he was about to burst from damn smiling and Jake didn’t know how he felt about that. After all, Dwight really shouldn’t have to be this happy about going to see some random ass movie. Fucking hell.

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“Yeah, sure does.” Jake pushed open the heavy door to the cinema entrance as he spoke, “C’mon, let’s take a look at what they’ve got.”

 

Dwight followed after him as he wandered to the hanging screens, displaying screening times and what movies were being shown. A quick scan and a quiet huff escaped Jake as he pointed at the TV.

 

“That one starts in twenty minutes.” He pointed out before he turned to a cardboard cut out of said movie, narrowing his eyes at the misshapen and masked man in the image. Jake raised an eyebrow at the bloodied machete the figure held in his hand and he scoffed, “Looks like a slasher flic. Interested?”

 

Dwight stood beside him as he spoke and when Jake turned back to look at him after his question, Dwight shrugged in response, “Sure.”

 

“It looks like a reboot of some oldie. I don’t recognise it.”

 

“Yeah, I know it. It’s basically this family who moves into an old farmhouse secluded from society and this crazy dude shows up in their barn and spends the whole movie chasing everyone around.” Dwight states it so matter-of-factly it sounds as if he’s seen it plenty of times before. Jake supposes he might have.

 

“Huh.”

 

“It’s decent.”

 

Looking at his friend for a moment, Jake briefly wondered what else lay behind those thick glasses before he nodded, “If it’s crap, I won’t even be mad.” He said before he went to go purchase their tickets, Dwight trailing behind him.

 

Tickets in hand, Jake continuef on his way to get snacks for their impromptu movie adventure. It wasn’t long before they got snacks and drinks and when the doors to the screening room opened, the two teens found their seats quickly enough. They were sequestered off to the side of the room with Jake sitting against the wall.

 

“So you’re not afraid of blood?”

 

Dwight looks up from his phone at the question, having been preoccupied with it since they’d gotten in line for food, he was now caught off guard by Jake’s sudden words. Blinking at Jake before he shook his head, he opened his mouth,  “Nope. Especially not movie blood.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, really. What- did you think I was?”

 

Jake shrugged at that, “Some of the toughest people are afraid of shit like blood or spiders or something.” He said, “Just thought it was topical.”

 

“Because we’re in a slasher movie?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Jake received a funny look for his efforts and he felt his face flush. Had he said something stupid? He must have, by the way Dwight’s brows were raised towards his hairline like that. The teen said nothing though and rather than watching his friend look at him like that, he grumbled under his breath and turned his gaze towards the big screen at the front of the room.

 

“Stop it.” He muttered it through his teeth but it was enough to get Dwight to turn away from him and face the screen as well.

 

The movie wasn’t starting for at least another ten minutes; the two of them had been the first ones to sit down and the lights were still on above them. Some still adverts slid across the screen once in a while and Jake thought they were awfully boring. The silence between the two teenagers stretched on for a solid minute which normally wouldn’t have bothered Jake much but it didn’t sit quite right with him today. He refused to give in to the urge to fidget but steadfastly kept his gaze trained on the repeating ads.

 

“…Are you?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Afraid of blood. Are you?”

 

Jake looked at Dwight again but shook his head in reply. No, he wasn’t afraid of blood. Just of the future. And opinions. But only his family’s, really. He didn’t voice any of that, though.

 

Instead of making another effort to speak, Dwight just smiled at him before he popped some of their gathered sweets into his mouth and turned to look at the screen once more. Before Jake could find his own words, the lights dimmed and he looked around the room, only then realising that it had slowly been filling up with more people. Although he couldn’t say this was quite the turn out. Not that he was surprised, really. He hadn’t even heard of this movie until now.

 

Weird. When did he stop paying attention to his surroundings like this? Jake had always had a keen eye; not a lot of things went by him without him noticing. The smallest details, he could admit that he had a knack for spotting them. So then, why… He sighed and shook  his head dismissively as he turned his gaze to the trailers playing at the front of the room. It didn’t really matter.

 

Now that he thought about his own damn sense of awareness though, Jake couldn’t help but notice every single movement his friend made. His eyes darted from the movie whenever Dwight ate or took a sip. Or even when the corners of his mouth twisted up or he frowned at a particular scene or bit of dialogue. Jake’s mind was only half paying attention to the movie at best.

 

At some point, he straight up caught himself staring at Dwight, who’s attention was entirely devoted to the film. At this, Jake tensed and in order to give himself an excuse to fidget, he reached over to the bucket of popcorn his friend was holding and took a handful. Fucking hell.

 

He made sure to keep  his gaze on the screen as he ate and when the popcorn in his hand was entirely gone, he resorted to drinking his soda to keep his mind from wandering from the movie too much. And when he finally did get into it, Jake could actually admit to himself that he didn’t mind all the gore-y executions that were happening on the screen.

 

When the murderous antagonist finally went down in a literal blaze in the form of a house fire, tied to a chair, and the credits rolled onto the screen, Jake exhaled slowly. He wasn’t sure whether he was glad that it was over or not. It hadn’t been bad, per se, but…

 

“That’s not going to be memorable.” He said quietly as he got to his feet. He glanced down at Dwight who followed his example.

 

“You don’t think so?” Dwight wondered aloud as the two of them made their way to the exit.

 

“Nah.”

 

“But some big Hollywood hats made it, y’know.” Dwight said, but the teasing tone in his voice made it clear that he wasn’t trying to defend the hot garbage.

 

Jake scoffed at that though and he shook his head as he pushed the door open to let the two of them out onto the street. “Just because it’s expensive doesn’t make it good.”

 

“So it wasn’t good?”

 

“Listen…. They had a million dollar budget- and they don’t even pay attention to the details?” Jake huffed, “The little girl wasn’t even wearing the same bracelet in the same scene. Twice. Once, it even teleported to her other arm.”

 

Dwight didn’t seem to be able to hold back a laugh at Jake’s criticism and it bubbled out of him as they walked towards Jake’s car as the sun was visibly setting on the horizon. Soon it’d be completely dark.

 

“I didn’t even notice.” Dwight admit as they walked side by side, Jake rummaging through his hoodie’s pocket to get his car-keys.

 

When he found them, he pulled them out and unlocked the car, before he got in however, he shook his head, his voice lowering to a dramatic whisper, “It’s all in the details, Dwight.” And without further explanation, he got into the car.

 

He expected the stunned silence and when it was followed up by a quiet laugh, Jake smiled to himself. He watched as his friend made himself comfortable in the passenger seat before he started the car. Dwight reached over to the radio and found a proper music station.

 

The two of them sat in comfortable quiet once more, occasionally singing or humming along to a lyric on the radio. By the time they reached Dwight’s house, the streets were dark and only lit up by the streetlights and the car’s headlights.

 

“Thanks, Jake.” Dwight said as he unbuckled the seatbelt, “For taking me to the movie. And driving me home.”

 

“I wanted to.” Jake said with a shrug, speaking the entire truth. He looked at his friend and smiled a genuine smile, one that reached his eyes. “You got anything to do tomorrow?”

 

The question seemed to catch Dwight off-guard, or maybe it was the genuineness in Jake’s expression, he couldn’t quite be sure.

 

“Tomorrow?” He repeated, blinking at Jake.

 

“Mhm. I don’t really want to be by myself.” The teen admitted, his smile faltering slightly as he thought about spending the rest of the evening by himself. Maybe he should’ve suggested some fast food adventure too before taking Dwight home.

 

Dwight’s expression of mild surprise turned into understanding and Jake really wished it hadn’t because honestly, what did that mean?

 

“I can do tomorrow.”

 

“Cool. Uh. I’ll text you later, alright? I’ll come up with something to do.”

 

“Sure. Talk to you later, then, Jake.” Dwight smiled again and then without further ado, opened the car and hopped out. He waved at him before he shut the door and Jake watched him go up to the door, waiting for it to shut safely behind his friend before he continued on his own way home.

 

Right. He just had to come up with an outing.

 

What was something the two of them could do for an entire day?

 

Oh.

 

He might have _just_ the thing.

 

Jake smiled to himself as he drove in the dark, fingers tapping along to the beat of the song on the radio while he planned out their Sunday in his mind.

 

He just hoped Dwight liked the outdoors.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's only going to get worse from here on out ;P 
> 
> Bother me at hawke-enthusiast on tumblr!!


	5. Take a stroll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sunny Sunday is the best kind of Sunday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a bit longer to update this week!!

When Dwight had received Jake’s text, he hadn’t really foreseen what the other planned for them. 'Dress comfortably, bring a backpack and walking shoes'. 

 

Maybe he should have seen it coming.

 

Either way, the fact of the matter was, Dwight had no other shoes than his usual sneakers and he never really thought about getting different kinds. There simply hadn’t been a use for that; all Dwight did was sit at home and go to school. But as he’s sat on a fallen tree, taking a breather after hiking for… Well, a _good while_. He realises that he maybe should have asked Jake if his own shoes were okay.

 

The sun has moved up higher in the sky than when they first set off onto the trail with Dwight’s spirits still high. But they’d been walking for quite some time now and Jake still hadn’t mentioned anything about _where_ they were going or how much further it still was.

 

Jake himself is stood a little ways ahead, looking at the map in his hands before turning and glancing around. Honestly, Dwight had never expected Jake to be able to read a map and use a compass but… Here he was. It was weird, coming to realise things about his friend that he hadn’t expected from him and it went to show how easy it was to judge people prematurely. Turns out that if you actually try to get to know someone, you might come across some surprises.

 

Dwight shook  his head at himself before he got up from where he had sat down, making sure to brush the dirt from his butt before he jogged over to his friend, the sun shining down on them brightly.

 

“Need any help?” Dwight asked, despite being very much aware that he had no idea how to read a map. He felt like he had to at least offer his assistance. 

 

“I got it.” Jake replied, not sparing a glance at the other teen as he did before he straightened up and looked at Dwight, “Ready to go on?” He asked and the spectacled teen nodded.

 

They stood still for a moment and Dwight couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow as he watched Jake just _look_ at him for a solid second before the teen turned and started walking again, taking point. He followed after him with just a couple of blinks.  _Wonder what that was about_ , he thinks to himself briefly. 

 

The sun was warm as it shone on them now that they left the treeline and wandered into an open field. Dwight had never really bothered with nature. He’d been born and raised in the city and his parents had never taken him on a trip or a hike before so it was all new for him. Listening to all the small sounds of forest and watching squirrels skitter about and climbing trees sure was an experience. 

 

The meadow they had wandered into was so green, Dwight almost couldn't believe that there had been no human intervention to achieve that deep shade of green of the grass beneath his shoes. God, he was such a city boy, it was ridiculous. He'd almost feel ashamed of it...

 

Jake looked back at him then as he lead the two of them up the hill at the edge of the clearing they’d been rapidly approaching.

 

“It’s not much further.” The teen called out to him and Dwight begrudgingly put a little more effort into his steps to climb up and reach the top.

 

“Where are we going anyway?” He asked, only slightly out of breath as he caught up with a waiting Jake who promptly started trudging up the hill again as soon as Dwight did. With a sigh, the spectacled and sweating teen followed suit.

 

“Place to eat. I’m starving.”

 

Dwight blinked then shook his head, “No, I mean, our final destination.”

 

Jake glanced back at him, “Death?” he asked and Dwight snorted.

 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

 

Jake effortlessly subdued the growing grin on his face and instead Dwight spots an expression on his friend’s face that he can only describe as ‘odd’.

 

“It’s not about the destination, Dwight. Just enjoy the now.”

 

That was the kind of advice that people put on 'artistic' pictures of sunsets and it made Dwight raise an eyebrow. If Jake hadn’t turned his back to him once more to continue walking, he would’ve made sure to put more effort into showing his incredulousness. Then again, he thought to himself, maybe he had been too busy thinking about how his feet were going to ache to hell later, or how his bag was digging into his shoulders, or how his eyes were constantly drawn to Jake who was walking _ahead_ of him.

 

Maybe he _should_ just enjoy the journey, like Jake suggested. He took a quiet breath and looked around, watching as the wind swayed trees and high grass around them. It was beautiful out here.

 

After a moment of just letting himself appreciate nature, Dwight hurried a little and when he reached Jake, he put in a little more effort to keep in step with the other so that they were walking side by side.

 

“I heard there’s a nice eating spot up here.” Jake said eventually and it takes Dwight a short moment to realise that it’s a reply to his earlier question.

 

“Alright... But, why are we hiking, anyway?”

 

Jake looked at him as if he’d said something really stupid and Dwight immediately bit his tongue for it. Was it weird, that he’d asked that? Dwight just hadn’t thought that two guys their age would just go on impromptu hike on a Sunday. But maybe Jake was just planning to murder Dwight and dispose of his body in the woods. Well, Dwight couldn’t blame him if he did.

  
  
“Because it’s nice weather and the city is crowded.” Jake answered after he was done trying to take Dwight’s head off with his eyes. At least, that's what the latter figured he was trying to do. It sure looked like it. 

 

“You don’t like crowds, do you?” Dwight said quietly as they walked and the shake of Jake’s head was enough for Dwight. He nodded slowly then spoke up again, “Me neither. I mean, I like the idea of people. I just haven’t met many people who like _me_.” Dwight explained, trailing off in a chuckle.

 

Jake glanced at him again, looking like he was trying to decide whether to weigh in or not but in the end, he opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t like people. _Most_ people. I like birds, though.”

 

“Birds? Just birds?”

 

“Animals, but birds in particular.”

 

That was… specific. Birds. Huh. Dwight blinked as he pictured Jake holding up a hand with a bird perched on his finger. And it quickly turned into a mental image of Jake completely covered in the winged creatures as they used his shoulders and his head as landing and resting places. He smiled at the idea and shook his head a little to rid himself of the idiocy of it.

 

“Why birds?”

 

Jake shrugged, turning his head to look over the fields to their right side as he spoke, “They can fly.” He said simply. Dwight wasn’t sure what to make of that. There was something in Jake’s voice, and despite not being able to see his friend’s face, Dwight suspected there was more to it than just that simple reason. He felt uncomfortable prying though, so he let it be.

 

They both fell silent after the exchange and Dwight just listened to their feet hitting the ground, dislodging rocks and flattening whatever patches of grass persisted on the trail. In the distance, he heard some birds chirping and as Dwight looked up towards the sound, he felt a slight bump against his right arm. His attention shifted from the sound quickly enough, realising with a small startle that it’d been Jake’s arm against his own. However briefly.

 

Dwight’s gaze was drawn downwards, towards the other teen’s arm before he lifted his head once more, looking up towards the top of the hill. It really only was a few more feet.

 

When they reached it, Dwight was met with the sight of a group of trees, standing together. They caught more wind than the ones further down but they were big. Their branches extended far and wide and it was almost humbling to stand near them. The grass looked soft and the top served as a perfect vantage point to look over the fields and forest.

 

As Dwight admired it all, Jake walked forward and propped up his backpack against one of the tree trunks. He then proceeded to take out a blanket and drape it on the grass before he sat down, gesturing for Dwight to come join him.

 

When he reached the blanket, he dropped his bag beside Jake’s before sinking down on the patterned cloth. His slightly aching feet were definitely relieved to get his weight off of them and he couldn't keep a heavy sigh from escaping. 

 

Dwight feels like he’s having a déjà vu. A couple of trees protect them from the worst of the sun and Dwight can’t help but smile as Jake reached back and dumped the rest of the contents of his bag onto the blanket. He watched as the teen pulled the heap apart and showed him the sandwiches and snacks he’d brought, along with a couple of soda bottles.

 

Dwight picked up a pre-packaged sandwich, recognising the brand from the supermarket close to his own home and he chuckled.

 

“You didn’t make them yourself?”

 

Jake didn’t even look bothered at the question, instead he shrugged and picked up his own, inspecting the contents before ripping it open, “Planning this trip was enough work.”

 

Dwight just laughed again and nodded, “Alright.” He said simply before he opened the package and got to eating, realising that he was a lot more hungry than he initially thought now that he could smell the food.

 

The two of them were quiet as they ate, and Dwight was happy to just look around, appreciating how far he could see from the top of the hill. A breeze ruffled his hair as well as the leaves on the trees and his eyes slid closed. It felt nice.

 

This was nice.

 

After a few minutes of just sitting there, Dwight realised that he didn’t hear Jake eating anymore. Matter of fact, he couldn’t hear him do anything. He’d be worried that he got abandoned if not for the fact that he was sure he would’ve heard Jake get up, at least. He opened his eyes slowly and turned to look at his friend, almost startled to find him blushing.

 

Huh?

 

Jake cleared his throat, quickly turning around as if he’d been caught staring or something. Dwight could only blink, his mind providing him with nothing as he just watched the other. Jake stayed quiet for a minute, ostensibly busying himself with opening his bottle of coke, seemingly well aware he was being watched. Another second passed and Jake, in frustration, dropped the bottle and muttered.

 

“I didn’t know you had freckles.” He said, as if to explain himself.

 

So he _had_ been looking at Dwight?

 

Dwight felt his cheeks warm up slightly, reaching up a hand to press it against his cheek, “I have freckles?” He asked quietly, surprised. He didn’t know he had freckles. Since when? What?

 

Jake seemed to be just as surprised, turning to him with slightly wide eyes.

 

“You didn’t know?”

 

“No?”

 

Jake looked at him for a moment before he nodded, leaning a bit closer and pointing at Dwight’s cheeks and nose, “Right here. They’re faint, but I think the sun is bringing them out.”

 

Dwight chose not to think about the fact that Jake noticed the freckles at all, given that - apparently -they’re so faint. Instead, he blushed fully and cleared his throat.

 

“Oh.”

 

“They’re nice, dude.”

 

Dwight felt his cheeks warming further and he was honestly worried for a second that he might be suffering a heatstroke.

 

“They are?”

 

“Yeah. Suits you.” Jake replied easily before he sat back and once more tried to open the bottle. He succeeded this time and without  looking at Dwight, took a sip. They were silent as Dwight mulled over this information, gingerly bringing the sandwich in his hand back up to his mouth to resume eating.

 

Dwight didn’t spend a lot of time outside; he didn’t have much of a reason to. He’d tried out for sports teams at school but he had never really been given the time of day, so playing sports wasn’t an inclination of his to be outside. And, really, other than that, there really wasn’t anything else. No friends to go to the park with or hang out in parking lots with. If that was kids his age did anymore, anyway. Dwight didn’t know.

 

It was weird. Slowly, he chewed the last of his lunch before his attention was drawn to a candy bar held up in front of him. He looked at it, making no move for a solid second before he looked at Jake, who was holding it out to him. He must have made a questioning noise or made a face or something of the like because Jake waved the candy at him before he spoke up, “Blood sugar. Eat it.”

 

“I think my blood sugar is fine-” Dwight started but was swiftly shut up when Jake pressed the wrapped candy bar against his cheek, holding it there until the spectacled teen reached up and took a hold of it himself. Only then did Jake retract his arm and pick up his own. The teen kept his gaze on his own snack, not even bothering to look at his friend as he tore open the packaging.

 

“If you faint and hit your head and die, I’ll be accused of murder.” Jake said offhandedly, as if it was a mere inconvenience to him if it were to actually happen.  That was reassuring.

 

The candy bar had skewed up Dwight’s glasses and he dropped it in his lap only to reach up and adjust his glasses, his eyes drawn to a smudge at the bottom. They must have pressed against his face there when Jake had tried to smother him with the snack. He took them off and cleaned them with his t-shirt, shaking his head a little as he did so.

 

“If they even find me out here. You could easily hide my body.”

 

Jake made a noise at that, something dismissive in the back of his throat. Dwight put his glasses back on his face and looked over at the other in time to see his shrug.

 

“That’d be a lot more effort than I’d be willing to go through after my friend died.”

 

Friend.

 

Dwight couldn’t keep the dopey smile off of his face and he opened the wrapper on his candy bar quickly before taking a bite to keep Jake off of his back about anything blood sugar-related.

 

“Besides,” Jake continued on while Dwight chewed the sweet, “I’m sure some animals will do the job for me eventually.” He said, grinning slightly when Dwight reached over and nudged him in the arm none too gently.

 

“Thanks.” Dwight replied with a theatrical roll of his eyes after he managed to swallow the bite. The quiet snicker Jake let escape made Dwight shake his head once more.

 

Who would’ve thought that Jake could joke around like that and _laugh_? Dwight hadn’t, that was for sure. He hadn’t ever seen the other smile in class and it wasn’t until they had gotten to know each other over the duration of their joint project that Dwight suspected there even was anything more to Jake than his stoicism. He was really glad that he was wrong.

 

“I could do with a nap.”

 

Jake’s words pulled Dwight out of his thoughts and rather than looking at the other teen, he turned his gaze upwards, watching a lone cloud drift by in the otherwise clear blue sky.

 

“If you fall asleep, I’ll get bored.” Dwight muttered, but he felt… good, as he said it. The sun shone pleasantly on his arms and legs; the shorts he was wearing had made Jake raise an eyebrow at him initially but now that they were here, Dwight couldn’t say he regretted wearing them in the least.

 

Jake stretched his arms above his head and even from where Dwight was sitting, next to the other with a respectable distance between them, he could hear his friend’s back pop with the movement. He allowed his gaze to slide back to Jake, his eyes catching the movement of the other’s shirt riding up ever so slightly. Just enough to bare some skin. Dwight’s only thought revolved around the fact that maybe Jake should buy longer shirts.

 

“Nap with me, then.” Jake suggested as he dropped his arms, but remained seated upright. That alone was enough for Dwight to realise that Jake didn’t have any true intention of falling asleep on this sunny day, on the top of this hill, with his friend next to him and no one else nearby.

 

Weird. Dwight identified the mild disappointment easily enough; it was a very familiar feeling to him. He just wasn’t sure _why_ he felt disappointed, however.

 

Deciding to just brush it off, Dwight put a hand behind himself to lean on it while his other held the candy bar that he was still munching on. He popped the last of it into his mouth, once more chewing and swallowing before he dropped the wrapper on the blanket.

 

Dwight realised, slowly, that neither one of them was much of a talker. And that often times, there was just silence between them but he also realised, in that very same heartbeat, that he didn’t mind that. It was comfortable, just sitting with Jake and thinking about light-hearted things. And sometimes, not so light-hearted things. But either way, their mutual silence was rarely awkward and the teen assumed that Jake could appreciate that. He’d expressed his dislike to being talked _at_ rather than _to_ , which was what most people did most of the time according to him. And Dwight was just selfish enough to consider what the two of them had was something that his friend greatly preferred.

 

“How’re the legs?” Jake asked after a long while, probably having been mulling over thoughts of his own just as Dwight had.

 

Dwight shrugged in response, “They’re fine. I can already tell my feet are going to be hell when we get back, though.”

 

Without much more than a thoughtful hum, Jake fished out his map from his bag, unfolding it and smoothing it out on the blanket as he laid it down. He seemed concentrated and Dwight was loathe to disturb him, so he sat quietly as he simply watched. His eyes were drawn to Jake’s finger as it seemed to follow a line on the map, tapping a spot twice as he apparently came to a conclusion.

 

Dwight smiled, mildly aware that he found it adorable the way that Jake seemed satisfied with himself as the latter folded the map once more, “Figured it out?” He asked, the lightly teasing tone in his voice greeted with a glance from the other teen.

 

Rather than answering verbally, Jake simply nodded and started collecting the trash they had accumulated before dropping it all into his bag. Dwight startled slightly at it and he couldn’t keep the slight pang of guilt at bay. He shouldn’t have left his trash on the blanket like that. Should’ve put his empty packages in his own bag. Now Jake had to carry around his stupid garbage.

 

“Do you want me to-” He started, silenced by the mere shake of Jake’s head.

 

Well. Alright then.

 

After sitting comfortably and allowing their legs to rest for a good while, Jake had eventually silently herded the two of them off the blanket, packing everything away properly and after casting one more look over the meadow on the other side of the tall hill, he started the descent back towards the forest they’d left earlier. Dwight, unwilling to interfere with his friend’s plans, rolled with it all and simply followed after Jake. This time, however, he made sure to keep up and walk beside the other.

 

They walked for a while and Dwight listened to all the quiet noises of the forest as they wandered between the trees. He especially liked the sound of twigs snapping underneath their feet as they made their way to wherever Jake was leading them.

 

“Do you know different types of birds?” Dwight finally broke the silence between them with his question, it popping into his mind when he spotted one of the feathery creatures fly up from a branch at their approach.

 

Jake said nothing for a moment, something that Dwight had to come to expect; he tends to be more surprised whenever Jake answers right away.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Like?”

 

Jake huffs, “Like crows, ravens, owls, eagles, doves.” He said simply and Dwight merely blinked at him.

 

“… The ones that everyone know?”

 

“I said I like birds, I didn’t say I read books about ‘em.” It could’ve easily sounded defensive, but instead Jake made it sound nonchalant, accompanying his words with a shrug.

 

Oh. Well… That did make sense. Maybe Dwight should’ve guessed that.

 

Jake glanced at him before stopping in his tracks, holding up a hand to Dwight’s chest to stop him as well as he smiled, “Do you hear that?”

 

Dwight was immediately unsure what he was supposed to hear. He looked around, trying to identify every sound that reached his ears. Insects, birds, leaves rustling. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other; another twig snapped with a satisfying crack. The teen really wasn’t sure what his friend wanted him to hear.

 

“I don’t-” He started, looking at Jake apologetically but his voice died in his throat as Jake put a finger to Dwight’s lips to shush him.

 

“No. Listen.” He said before he lowered his voice to a whisper, “Close your eyes.”

 

Feeling his cheeks redden with the casual touch, Dwight did as he was told and allowed his eyes to slide shut. He was almost glad to be able to dodge Jake’s genuine smile; it made Dwight’s stomach flip uncomfortably.

 

He listened though. With his eyes closed, he tried even harder to discern each and every sound that echoed between the trees.

 

Jake’s hand dropped after a moment and Dwight, on his turn, opened his eyes to look at him, “W- is that water?” He asked quietly, almost surprised. In the distance, he thought he could hear it; moving water. Like a river or a creak wasn’t too far away from them.

 

Jake grinned and nodded at him, “Appreciate the journey, Dwight.” The teen reminded him, patting his friend’s shoulder before he turned and continued onwards, heading to where Dwight suspected that water was located.

 

Pushing past some bushes and other underbrush, the two made it to a small creak. Dwight wasn’t entirely sure what they were doing there but Jake made it clear soon enough. He once again took off his backpack, allowing it fall onto a nearby boulder before he bent over, untying the laces of his shoes.

 

The shorter one of the two (with just an inch, thank you very much!) was still stood watching his friend by the time Jake finished taking off his shoes and socks. “C’mon.” Was all Jake said before he stepped into the running water, the legs on his pants rolled up to his knees to prevent them from getting wet. His shoulders tensed only slightly despite how cold Dwight suspected the water to be. Thankfully, it didn’t reach up further than the teen’s ankles so he was blessedly saved from the worst of it.

 

Dwight smiled as he watched, shaking his head but following the other’s example anyway. He toed off of his sneakers easily enough before he pulled his socks off and put them away safely in the shoes, right next to his bag. Then, taking a deep breath, he dipped his toes in the water and immediately pulled back with a yelp.

 

“It’s freezing!” He complained, pushing his glasses back up his nose as they slid down, his gaze directed down at the creak. Dwight heard Jake huff a quiet laugh and he looked up with a small pout on his lips only to find Jake making himself comfortable on a conveniently sized rock that stuck out of the water enough to sit on. The teen looked about as happy with himself as he could be, his feet in the fresh water, hands on his knees and watching Dwight. His body language just screamed satisfaction.

 

“It’s not that bad.”

 

“You’re already used to it.” Dwight said, watching as Jake moved to rest his elbows on his thighs.

 

“Then get used to it.”

 

Sure. That was easy for him to say. His body was already adjusting to the temperature! Dwight looked at the creak, hesitating, “I don’t know, man.” He said quietly then let out the most indignant squawk as the very same cold water splashed him in the face and over his clothes. His eyes widened as the rest of his body froze. Oh.

 

Jake grinned at him, shaking his hand to get the worst of the droplets off of it. It was the only evidence pinning him to the act.

 

Dwight would get him back for this.

 

Without any further hesitation, Dwight shot forward, fuelled by his desire to make Jake pay for this. His feet were quickly submerged in the water and with a playful yell, Dwight lunged for his friend who hastily got to his own feet to dodge the attack.

 

“Careful!” Jake warned him, but Dwight suspected that the other had meant for it to sound a lot more serious than it did. As it was, the laughter that Jake was trying to hold back did a poor job of making Dwight back down.

 

“You splashed me.” He said as he took a step closer to the grinning offender.

 

“Well- I got you in, didn’t I?” Jake said before receiving a face full of water. He balked, then slowly, he reached down and stuck his hands in the shallow body of water, imitating Dwight perfectly. They had a stare-off as they both stood, ready to strike at any moment. 

 

“Oh, it’s on now.” Jake muttered and then before Dwight could blink, all hell broke loose.

 

Both teens moved at the same time, bringing up their arms with as much force as they could to get the water to splash high and hard at the other. Dwight’s glasses were quickly reduced to useless, the water drops on the lenses making it hard to see. Thankfully, though, he didn’t need to _see_ to win a water fight. He kicked up some water, revelling in the startled yell it pulled from his friend, but he only had just enough time to get his footing back properly before he felt Jake’s arms wrap around his waist- Wait, when had he gotten behind him?

 

Dwight flailed his arms as Jake lifted him up off of his feet and it took them only a second to lose balance. They let out startled shouts as Jake slipped, unable to keep his footing with Dwight’s trashing, and both young men found themselves completely soaked in a matter of seconds. Dwight sucked in a breath as they hit the ground but the brunt of the impact was definitely taken by Jake, who had managed to at least get them to fall sideways instead of backwards. He still had one arm wrapped around Dwight, with the other he’d tried to break the worst of their fall.

 

Dwight blinked, his side hurt but other than that, he seemed to have gotten away with just a couple of scratches. He sat up, worry instantly overtaking him as he looked down at Jake who was just groaning as he lay in the water.

 

“Shit, are you okay?”

 

Jake’s arm had dropped from Dwight when said teen had moved and he now used it to rub the more injured one, sitting up slowly himself, “Yeah- fine. I’m fine.” He lifted the aching arm up, inspecting the limb with a critical eye before he dropped it to his side. “Didn’t even break the skin.”

 

Dwight exhaled a slow, relieved breath. At least there wouldn’t be a need for a panic. That was always a plus in the teenager’s book.

 

He lifted himself up to his feet, moving to help Jake do the same just as a firm breeze went past, urgently reminding Dwight that now even his underwear was soaked through. An involuntary shiver ran up his spine and he automatically wrapped his arms around himself to trap his remaining body heat.

 

“Maybe the water fight was a bad idea.” Dwight said, watching Jake as he took off and wrung out his shirt.

 

Somewhere in the distance, Dwight heard a bird chirping cheerfully. The sunrays that shone through the tree tops reflected light on Jake’s wet hair, bringing a shimmer to the black locks that did a wonderful job of mesmerising Dwight.

 

His admiring was put on hold, however, when Jake shrugged and pulled the still very damp shirt back over his head, succeeding in mussing up his hair.

 

“I think it was worth it. My feet feel better. Besides,” Jake spoke as he moved back towards their stuff, still safe and dry on the creak’s bedding, “I was feeling a little too warm anyway.”

 

Dwight said nothing to that and instead he looked down at himself. His shirt clung wetly to his torso, the hoodie he had wrapped around his hips was heavy and only barely managed not to slip down and fall into the water. His shorts weren’t faring any better than his t-shirt, he noted dully.

 

“I guess so.” He said after a moment of contemplation, following his friend out of the ice-y waters. His feet did lack that mild ache that had been starting to settle on their undersides now… But trading that in for being soaked to the bone, Dwight wasn’t sure if it was worth it.

 

Jake eyed him, Dwight noticed, as the other moved to put his shoes back on. He, himself, just kind of stood there, tugging on his wet shirt. It felt unpleasant against his skin, although he didn’t particularly feel cold without the wind. The sun was still strong enough to keep the worst at bay.

 

“You should squeeze the worst out of it.” Jake said from beside him but was looking down at his hands when Dwight turned his gaze to his friend.

 

Yeah, he should probably do that. The teen stood there for a moment longer before he took off his glasses, placing them on his shoes carefully. Then he moved on to pull the wet cloth off of himself, hating how it felt against his face. After that, the wringing out was quick and easy and before he knew it, the shirt was back on his body.

 

“Feels weird, seeing you without your glasses.” Jake piped up and the near-blind teenager looked at him with an almost surprised expression. Or well, he tried to look at him. It was more of a squint and all he could see was a vague blur.

 

Dwight fixed that by reaching down once more and putting the glasses back on his nose, “Must be because I’m always wearing them.” At least now he had enough vision to see the other roll his eyes at the reply.

 

“If you keep sassing me, I’ll let you walk home.”

 

For the record, Dwight really did try to keep the grin off of his face at that. It was just that he didn’t do a very good job of it. Thankfully Jake didn’t comment on the blatant amusement.

 

After gathering their things, the two set off once more, now finally heading back towards the car so that they could go home. Dwight was fascinated with the sudden realisation that with every few steps he took, he saw new and different vegetation growing here and there. Now that he was no longer focused on where they were going, or how they were getting there, he could fully appreciate their surroundings. Although the dampness of his clothes did manage to distract him occasionally when a breeze swept through the woods. Ahead of him, Jake stepped over a fallen tree in their path and Dwight only just managed to look up in time to not walk straight into it.

 

When they broke through the treeline once more, stepping out onto what passed as a parking lot, Dwight was really feeling the fatigue settle in his legs. Wordlessly, he climbed into Jake’s car, hoping that the other didn’t mind that the seats were going to get wet.

 

The hike had been nice but sitting in the car wasn’t bad either. Dwight appreciated the quiet hum of the engine and the radio playing softly while he looked out of the window. Watching trees and signs whiz past, the teenager smiled at the simplicity of it all.

 

“Thanks.” He found himself saying as he rested his chin in his hand, his gaze still on everything outside of the car.

 

He couldn’t see Jake and he didn’t bother turning his head to do so either, but he could hear the smile in the other’s voice.

 

“Thank _you_.”

 

His own smile grew substantially and he shut his eyes as he leaned back in his seat, completely content. He was happy to be here; happy to be damp, sweaty and tired in Jake’s car.

 

Even after Jake had dropped him off and Dwight had showered and put on some comfy clothes, sitting on his bed with his phone in hand, Dwight was happy.

 

His cell pinged, indicating it had received a message. His friend had replied to his first message and the teen laid back on his pillow as he read the text and moved his fingers to send his own response.

 

 _This is nice_ , Dwight caught himself thinking before his half-lidded eyes finally gave up their fight and slid closed, sleep taking him sooner than the teen has the idea to put his phone aside. Instead, he dozed off with the cell still in his hand and Jake's name on the screen. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys got lucky, they could've hit their head and died!! >:O be safe in your water fighting, kids!!


	6. Remember Where You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All teenagers should experience a party at least once in their life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's long. a monstrosity of a chapter. Holy hell. Enjoy :)

 

His arm was starting to bruise pretty badly, Jake noted dully that Monday morning as he sat in his first class. He turned it over to inspect the dark and sore spots, mildly mesmerised by the colouring of the bruises. Funny how bodies just… worked like that. He had just put his arm down, deciding to direct his gaze to the front of the room where the teacher was drawing on the blackboard when Marisa sidled up next to him. Jake could already feel dread fill him, refusing to turn and look at her, just hoping that she wasn’t there to get something from him.

 

He heard her inhale and his automatic response was to sigh even before she managed to get a word out.

 

“Sooooo…” She started and Jake envisioned himself falling off a cliff. His falling self was having more fun than the current real him already.

 

In his silent protest, Jake said nothing but he did finally look at her at least. If only to show the other teenager the less than thrilled expression on his face. Why was she even talking to him? He had avoided her as much as he could the last few weeks, hoping that his disinterest would fucking click inside her head.

 

“I was just wondering,” Marisa continued on, paying no heed to the scowl on Jake’s face, “Did you hear about Kevin’s party?”

 

Jake had, in fact, not heard about the party. He raised an eyebrow at it, “McNab is throwing a party?” He muttered, making sure to lace his words with as much apathy as he could physically muster.

 

“Yeah! It’s this Friday, because his folks will be out of town, or some cliché bullshit like that.” She laughed, making sure to sully any good thoughts Jake might’ve ever had on her by flipping her hair over her shoulder and smiling at him in a way that made his skin crawl. Overly sweet. _Fake_.

 

“Anyway, I thought, because you’ve been out of the loop lately, that you should come. It’ll be just like old times!” Marisa looked like she was fighting distaste from being expressed in any form, but the way her nose crinkled just the tiniest bit was enough for Jake to understand that she was referring to him dumping his old clique and hanging out with Dwight. Clearly, she wanted him to stop.

 

Naturally, that meant that Jake would do anything _but_ stop.

 

“I probably won’t.” He deadpanned, making sure to keep his expression blank before he turned back to watch the teacher with finality.

 

Of course, Marisa wouldn’t be Marisa if she’d left it at that and maybe Jake was an idiot for assuming that she’d learned that Jake’s ‘no’ definitely meant ‘no’.

 

“Oh.” She said, “You’ve got other plans?”

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“Oh.” She repeated and it didn’t take much for Jake to imagine her stunned expression. Honestly, he’d done so much to deter her from trying to socialise with him, it was almost admirable how persistent she was, despite his cold attitude towards her and their mutual friends. Or _her_ friends, now. Jake didn’t really need anybody beside Dwight and true to his word, he’d never actually liked any of those people he’d hung around with.

 

Marisa fell silent then but she sat down next to him regardless and despite his best efforts, the teenager still felt mild irritation at that fact. It wasn’t like Jake considered himself a hostile person; rather he felt he was someone who didn’t want to put up with people who would throw him away in the blink of an eye if he no longer served their purpose.

 

Well, he was trying very hard to make it clear to her that he wasn’t going to serve Marisa’s purposes any longer.

 

“If you change your mind…”

 

Oh for fuck’s sake.

 

“You’re still invited, y’know. I mean, sure, you’re hanging around with Dweebfield, but you’re still one of us.”

 

Jake really wished he could punch her and get away with it. He really, _really_ did. His jaw clenched as he gritted his teeth, silently fuming as his mind screamed.

 

“Right.” Was all he managed to get out, afraid that if he said anything more, he’d start yelling at her and even though that in itself wasn’t something he had a problem with, he doubted it was the best move in the middle of class. It was bound to attract unwanted attention.

 

Marisa seemed to mistake his lack of direct animosity towards her as acceptance and she sat back in her chair with a satisfied smile on her face. Like a cat that got the cream.

 

Jake chose to ignore her the rest of that hour and when he fell into his usual chair next to Dwight once Economics rolled around, he could only really heave a sigh before he put his arms on the desk and rest his head on them.

 

“Tired?” The other asked without much more than a glance and a smile.

 

Jake looked at him for a moment, watching as Dwight spun a pen between his fingers before he finally found the energy to reply, “Tired of people.” He muttered then groaned and sat up when MacMillan told him to with an irate tone of voice.

 

“What happened?” Dwight’s own voice dropped to an inconspicuous whisper to keep their teacher off of their backs, keeping his gaze on the blackboard at the front of the room.

 

He huffed quietly, shaking his head, “People suck.” He simply said then scowled when MacMillan heard him and pointedly told him to ‘shut up’. So, instead, he did what any other sixteen year old would do. He ripped a page out of his notebook, as quietly as he could, before scribbling something onto it and sliding it over to the teen next to him.

 

Dwight seemed surprised for a brief second before his gaze moved over the words. Jake watched then as his friend shook his head in mild amusement and wrote a reply beneath the simple ‘ _Wish I had every class with you’_

‘ _seriously, what happened?’_

Dwight’s handwriting was less legible than Jake’s was and he wasn’t sure if he was surprised at that fact or not. After all, Jake had spent quite some time on perfecting his letters to satisfy his parents when he first learned to write. _‘Should just start writing in chicken scratch just out of spite’,_ he thought to himself briefly as he put his own pen back on the piece of paper.

 

‘ _Marisa sat next to me this morning and invited me to McNab’s party on Friday’_

_‘kevin is throwing a party?’_

_‘Yeah. She said I’m still one of them and “Should definitely come!!!”. I told her I won’t.’_

From the corner of his eye, Jake saw the initial surprise and confusion on Dwight’s face, recognising that particular furrow in his brow by now.

 

The paper was slid back to him and he huffed at what he read.

 

_‘why not?’_

 

Easy: Because he didn’t like her. Or McNab for that matter.

 

‘ _Because they’re assholes and I’d rather spend my time with you. Got plans on Friday?’_

 

‘ _i think you should go’_

Jake felt the frown form on his face as he read that sentence, turning to look at Dwight to make sure the other knew exactly how the teen felt about it and he was promptly ignored as his friend stubbornly kept his gaze on their teacher.

 

_‘Yeah, I’m going to pass on that. I don’t like any of those people.’_

Dwight cast a quick glance at the note then wrote his own hurriedly, apparently very into economics all of a sudden.

 

‘ _but a party’s a party’_

Yeah, and Jake had seen enough parties. But then it occurred to him that Dwight hadn’t, had he? He had never seen the other at any parties and he doubted anyone had ever invited him to any.

_‘I’m not interested in parties right now.’_

After that, it took Dwight a few minutes to reply, looking as if he was in thought about _what_ to write exactly before he gave up and just turned to Jake with a shrug. He then leaned in just a little closer and whispered, “You should think about it.”

 

Jake didn’t want to think about it. So he decided not to. He rolled his eyes then huffed and dropped the subject completely for the rest of the day.

 

Sadly for him, that wasn’t the last he was going to hear about it, though. Frankly, Jake felt that maybe he should’ve expected it from Marisa and he wasn’t wrong on that. She asked him about it the next day, just as he’d predicted. His answer had remained the same.

 

“I’m not going.”

 

What he hadn’t expected, however, was for Dwight to keep going on about it.

 

‘Shouldn’t he go?’   
Why?

 

‘Wasn’t it something fun to do with his friends?’  
Kevin and Marisa were not his friends.

 

‘It could be fun!’  
It really won’t.

 

Much of the same questions and reasoning were repeated at least a couple times a day that week until Thursday afternoon rolled around and the two friends were sat in Jake’s car, eating some shitty fast-food burgers.

 

“Jake?” Dwight had said, after finishing his own off, cleaning his hands with a napkin as he spoke.

 

“Yeah?” He had replied, munching on a fry.

 

“Are you sure you’re not going tomorrow?”

 

Oh holy fuck. This shit again?

 

“Dwight, you absolute-” Jake cut himself off there, because he had no interest in fighting with Dwight over this issue. Or fighting with Dwight at all, although he had to note that he was very tempted in that exact moment to call the other a nasty name and kick off the argument. But he wouldn’t, because he doubted it would accomplish much.

 

Dwight must’ve seen it in his face or something because he just looked at him with a small, startled expression and Jake instantly deflated. Instead of frustration, he just felt weariness now.

 

“Unless you’re coming, I’m not going.” Jake said, sounding just as weary to his own ears as he felt.

 

Really, Jake had only meant it in a deterring way. In a, ‘you won’t do it anyway so ha’ sort of way. But Dwight had subtly perked up at the words and Jake instantly knew he’d made a mistake.

 

“Really?”

 

Fuck.

 

“You’d take me?”

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

 

“… Do you want to go?” He asked, raising an eyebrow slowly. It didn’t seem like a great idea, to be honest. Like something was bound to go wrong somehow. For the life of him, Jake couldn’t say _what_ exactly. But _something_ , probably.

 

Then again… If Dwight wanted to go with him, then maybe it wouldn’t be so awful after all. And it wasn’t like Jake cared about his reputation whatsoever so what other kids thought about it meant very little to him. Huh. Maybe it _was_ a solid option.

 

“Sure! I mean- if you’re going.”

 

Clearly, Dwight wanted to go. And Jake supposed that it made sense; the parties always looked like such a _thing_ on TV and in the movies.

 

“Is it going to be your first time?” He asked, meaning to make it sound like an offhanded question, turning his gaze to the fries in his lap before he popped one into his mouth.

 

Dwight cleared his throat, mumbling something Jake couldn’t hear but the affirmative nod was enough for him to understand. Maybe his friend just wanted to go to a damn party for once in his life and Jake was the golden ticket to one. A brief, sharp thought sprang into his mind at that logic though because… did that mean Dwight was _using_ Jake? The teen narrowed his eyes at that, but quickly forced it out of his head. After all, he had sort of used Dwight as a means to an end at the very start as well. And beside that… Dwight didn’t seem like that kind of person. They were friends.

 

“I just-” Oh. The other was talking again. Jake looked up from his food, turning his head to watch as his friend seemed to struggle with his words, “I don’t want you to think I’m bothering you about it because _I_ want to go. I mean- I do want to go. But I’m not trying to use you, or anything.”

 

Oh. Well. Jake was right then. Sort of. He made a mental note to question his instinctual thoughts more often.

 

“But I just don’t want you to regret not going at some point because you’re hanging out with me instead.”

 

Jake couldn’t even begin to comprehend that. He frowned, moving a hand in a confused gesture as he spoke up, “I won’t regret it. I told you, I _hate_ those people. And I don’t hate you, so…” Did that sound a bit too harsh? Jake wasn’t sure. It was how he felt though; it was genuine. That should count for something.

 

“But they are- or were…? Your friends. Wasn’t this sort of thing normal for you? You haven’t done anything with them since you started hanging out with me.”

 

“Again, that’s because they’re not my friends. Because I _hate_ them. Because they’re _fake_.”

 

Still, Dwight didn’t seem satisfied with Jake’s answer. He shook his head, opened his mouth to say something in return but appeared to change his mind when he saw Jake’s scowl. So instead, he closed his mouth and cast his gaze downwards.

 

“Okay.” He merely ended up saying, and it sounded meek.

 

Jake felt the irritation boil inside of him but he reminded himself that he didn’t want to argue with Dwight about this. He sat up a little, staying silent for a moment longer before he made his decision.

 

“We can go tomorrow. I’ll come get you and we can go there. But you gotta promise me, you’ll stop bothering me about this damn party or any other fuckin’ party someone from that shitty clique is throwing at whatever point in the future after this. Okay?”

 

Dwight frowned at him and Jake couldn’t keep the sudden pang of guilt at bay. He’d said something wrong, clearly, but he had to take a guess at which part it had been that made Dwight upset with him. As it was, Jake was torn between the ‘bothering’ and ‘shitty clique’ bit. But he supposed he might also have worded his thoughts poorly enough to seem like it was an inconvenience for the teen to pick up Dwight.

 

He would’ve back-pedalled, if he’d been the kind of person to do so. As it stood, though, he had never done that before with anyone but his parents. So he said nothing.

 

The other teenager did the same and after a moment of just frowning at Jake, he crumpled up the wrapper in his lap and tossed it at his friend, “Don’t be an asshole.” He muttered but Jake was too relieved to do anything else but try to catch the small ball and smile.

 

“Sorry.” He said in return, “Let’s go. This parking lot is getting boring.”

 

Dwight managed a small smile and just turned up the radio as Jake started the car.

 

“Guess we’ve got plans.” Jake said in a quiet, joking tone of voice in an attempt to return to their natural light-heartedness once he pulled onto the road and Dwight nodded.

 

“Friday evening plans, no less.”

 

Jake couldn’t help the grin, “Wild, Fairfield. Very wild.”

 

Dwight, in return, grinned before he shut his eyes and shrugged, “What can I say? I’m a wild child.”

 

And just like that, the tense air that hung between them dissipated and the two teenagers were back to their usual banter as they headed home.

 

Then Friday came and the day had been very uneventful for Jake. Marisa complained to him that morning too about how he wasn’t coming to the ‘super cool party tonight’. He was petty enough to just shrug and express his doubt on the fact that he’d miss anything important if he didn’t. He didn’t tell her that he was in fact attending, and he most definitely did not tell her who he planned to bring along with him. Why ruin the surprise, really.

 

Dwight had, once they sat down together for lunch, been radiating nervous excitement and Jake couldn’t help but smirk at it. Granted, he still disliked the idea of even going, but maybe it was worth it to see Dwight like this.

 

For the first time in a while, the two of them had gone home separately. They had rather quickly gotten into the habit of just having Jake drop Dwight off at home before continuing to his own place and it wasn’t until that day that Jake really realised it. It just… sort of happened. But Dwight had insisted that he had to go take care of something after school first and that the other should just go on ahead. So Jake had.

 

He spent his free hours before the party at home, messing around with his video games. He wondered, briefly, if Dwight was nervous enough to not be able to decide what to wear to the social gathering. He could picture it easily as he changed his own shirt unhurriedly for a slightly cleaner one. Then when it was time to go, he draped a jacket over himself and headed out to go pick his friend up for his very first high school party. Jake just hoped Dwight wouldn’t puke. Everyone always puked, but he really, _really_ hoped that his friend would be able to refrain. Well. So long as he didn’t vomit in his car, Jake supposed it’d be fine.

 

When he rolled up to  his friend’s house, he was just in time to catch Dwight opening the door. Jake was mildly confused before he smirked. He hadn’t sent the other a text that he was there or when he was leaving, even, but it was almost through a sixth sense that Dwight came out of his house at that perfect timing.

  
That, or he was excited and decided to wait for Jake outside. It was one of the two.

 

“Hey.” Jake said, leaning over to open the passenger door for his friend as he jogged up to the car.

 

“Hey.” Dwight greeted him in return, getting into his usual seat quickly before he shut the door and buckled his belt, “Excited?”

 

Jake huffed at that, shaking his head but still managed to feel a dash of amusement at the question, “No. But you are.”

 

The other grinned and shrugged, “I guess!”

 

“No, no guessing. You are. It’s not hard to tell.” He said with a shake of his head, wondering if Dwight’s good mood was infectious enough to make him smile like he was right now.

 

The spectacled teen shrugged his shoulders again, seeming to settle in the seat while his fingers tugged on his blue t-shirt and on each other. Jake glanced down at it briefly before he settled his gaze on the road once more. He knew where Kevin lived; he’d been to his house plenty of times before. The guy was one of those people who threw a party every time his parents were away for a night. Apparently this time was special as well; not only were the old folks away, McNab had also turned seventeen. That’s what Marisa had told him and Jake had promptly decided that his presence would have to suffice for a birthday gift. It practically was.

 

“Are those your party glasses?” Jake asked after a good amount of quiet between them, glancing at the other briefly to catch a glimpse of the grin on his face.

 

“Sure. If every day is a party, then yeah.”

 

“Profound.” He muttered and laughed quietly when he got punched in the arm for it. Worth it.

 

Dwight shook his head at him, “You were the one who asked.” He said, as if he expected Jake to argue with that. Instead, Jake shrugged and kept on driving, letting the music on the radio fill the quiet in his stead.

 

It wasn’t long before he parked the car at a safe enough distance to not get puked on by kids wandering out onto the lawn but close enough to crawl towards in the event of heavy drinking. Of course, Jake wasn’t intending to drink. He had to take Dwight home, after all. And he’d hate to get the two of them into a DUI accident. Jake didn’t like people, but he didn’t want to _kill_ anyone.

 

“We’re here.” He stated, although he doubted he really had to. There were kids gathered on the lawn already and the music inside was loud enough to reach the street. Some already looked pretty fucked up and Jake felt the apprehension settle in his stomach as he got out of the car.

 

“Are we late?” Dwight asked from the other side as Jake locked the doors, “Looks like it’s already started.”

 

Jake shrugged, wandering towards the house with his hands in his pockets, “You don’t want to be here before eleven, trust me.” Now they could just sort of disappear in the crowd of rowdy and intoxicated teenagers; something Jake greatly preferred, lest someone come over to him and try to talk to him.

 

Once inside, Dwight seemed to be looking his eyes out. He glanced around, staring only briefly at some girl and dude making out on the stairs before he turned to Jake and grinned. God. He really shouldn’t be enjoying this so much.

 

Jake gestured for the other to follow him, heading for the kitchen where he knew all the drinks to be. He said nothing as he went over to the kitchen island, grabbing two still unused cups from the plastic wrapping. He handed one to his friend before he opened the fridge and poured himself some soda. When he looked behind him, he found a lost looking Dwight who seemed to be unable to figure out what he was supposed to put in his own red cup.

 

“Have you ever drank before?” Jake asked him, having to raise his voice to be heard over the loud music. Dwight shook his head, dodging his friend’s gaze by directing his own to all the liquor bottle that were littering the kitchen surfaces.

 

“Do you want to?” He continued, his eyes searching for a bottle that held the kind of liquor that wouldn’t fuck his friend up too much.

 

“Uh, sure?”

 

“You don’t have to.” Jake shrugged, sipping his own drink, “I ain’t drinking tonight.”

 

Dwight looked to be hesitating for a moment before he determinedly turned and grabbed the closest bottle he could reach, not bothering to check what it was before he opened it and poured it into his cup. Jake was quick to reach out and tip the bottle upright when he realised the other had no idea how much he was supposed to pour. “Take it easy.” He told him, “You should probably mix it, though.” Jake took the bottle from his friend, inspecting the label before setting it down. Who even brought gin to these kinds of parties?

 

Finding the right soda, Jake added it to Dwight’s cup in the hopes that it wasn’t too late to save him from certain intoxication but there wasn’t much else for it. The teen did revel in the face Dwight was trying so hard _not_ to pull when he put his lips to the cup and took a careful sip. But the way his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw tightened; Jake knew exactly what that was.

 

“Too strong?” He asked, smirking as he watched his friend force the liquid down his throat before he pushed up his glasses and peered into the cup in his hand.

 

“N-… Not really.” Dwight said, clearing his throat before taking another sip.

 

Alright then.

 

Jake watched as the other desperately tried to hide the grimace on his face, clearing his throat to keep from coughing and he really couldn’t help but laugh at that. He shook his head, “Just take it easy.” He said after Dwight cast him a somewhat concerned look.

 

The other teen cleared his throat again before he spoke up, keeping his gaze on the drink in his hands, “What do you usually do at a party?” He asked and Jake realised in that very moment that he had no clue because he never really thought about it.

 

He blinked slowly, looking around before he shrugged, “Drink. Play games, uh… Talk? Dance. Stuff like that.” _Mostly_ , he thought to himself, _we just get as shitfaced as is humanely possible then throw up somewhere._ Jake didn’t really want to tell Dwight that, though.

 

“You can dance?” The teen asked, courageously taking another sip of his drink but doing a better job at hiding his disgust this time around.

 

“I didn’t say that.”

 

Jake looked around again then gestured for the other to follow him before he went to the living room, finding a spot to stand with his friend where they could watch other kids getting their party on without standing out too much themselves. The teen was quick to lean his back against the wall behind him while shoving his free hand in his pocket.

 

“You don’t even need to talk to seem moody.” Dwight teased him as he came to stand beside him, grinning a little at his friend who merely shrugged in reply.

 

“It’s a talent.” He said eventually, after the two of them had been standing there without saying anything for a while. Dwight glanced up when he did though, looking away from a dancing group of teenagers.

 

He looked like he was about to reply, opening his mouth with a big dopey smile on his face which was enough for Jake to realise that his friend was starting to feel the liquor. But, he was cut off before he could voice his words. Almost out of nowhere, Marisa materialized beside Jake and grabbed his arm, all the while squealing at him.

 

“You’re here! You came after all! Jesus, Jake, warn me next time.” She exclaimed, her gaze glued to him before it dropped down to the empty red cup in his hand and then back up to his face.

 

Jake could only really manage a scowl, irritated that his friend was interrupted and downright annoyed that she had even found them in the first place. “Yeah.” He simply said before he caught her eyes turning from him to Dwight, momentarily widening before she hurriedly looked back at Jake with a look on her face that said that she was definitely in disbelief.

 

“You brought _him_?” She asked.

 

“Yeah.” He repeated, narrowing his eyes just enough to convey his warning of ‘back the fuck off’ nonverbally. Or at least, he hoped that conveyed it.

 

Marisa glanced at Dwight once more, pointedly ignoring his little wave directed at her, before she tugged on Jake’s arm, “Well, come with me for a bit!” She made sure to pitch her voice up, appearing enthusiastic about whatever it was she wanted to do with Jake. “I gotta talk to you for a bit.” Marisa went on, probably hoping to get him to come along with her if she explained herself a little more. Well, sucked for her, because he wasn’t going to let himself be convinced by the likes of her. He’d much rather stay with his friend and keep him company. Make sure he wouldn’t choke on the alcohol or anything.

 

Jake was just about to open his mouth, about to shoot her down firmly when Dwight piped up from beside him, “It’s cool, Jake. I don’t mind.” As if he’d read his mind. Jake turned to look at the other, raising an eyebrow, trying to telepathically tell Dwight that he didn’t _want_ to go with her. Apparently Dwight had exhausted his mind-reading powers or something because instead of taking it back, he just smiled widely at the two others, nodding affirmatively.

 

Taking that as her chance, Marisa started walking towards the kitchen, pulling Jake along with her. He just blinked, keeping his gaze on Dwight as he mouthed the word ‘why’ at him. Dwight, in response, merely shrugged and took another sip, looking infuriatingly innocent.

 

And with that, Jake allowed himself to be dragged into the kitchen. Only then did Marisa let go of him and he watched as she plucked his cup from his fingers before she went to work; pouring this and that into it. He watched it quietly as she moved about the space, ignoring the loud music and excited hollering in the other rooms. She was trying to get him piss-drunk, by the looks of it and Jake couldn’t help but wonder _why_ she wanted that.

 

He felt apprehension welling up in him as he moved to stand with his back against the kitchen island,  a frown forming as Marisa turned back to him. He then shifted his arm, holding it up to physically push back against the cup that Marisa was now trying to force on him. He knew enough about what it contained to know that he wouldn’t be able to drive Dwight back home after drinking it.

 

“C’mon! It’s a party, Jake, you gotta at least drink something!” She complained to him loudly and Jake really didn’t have the patience for this bullshit.

 

“I don’t want to.” He said, feeling his features pull into a scowl as he took a hold of the cup, taking it from her grasp only to turn around and hand it off to a random teen passing by.

 

Marisa looked offended, her mouth hanging open as she tried to find the right words to scold him with.

 

“When did you get so boring?” She asked with a pout and Jake couldn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes at her for it.

 

“I was never exciting.” He told her and the way she grinned at him was instantly alarming to Jake. She was apparently starting to feel emboldened by the return of his banter. Or what she thought was banter anyway.  

 

She moved to stand close to him, almost touching, he suddenly realised with a start, “I think you are. You’re really funny, you know that?”

 

Jake raised an eyebrow at her, glancing down when he noticed her moving just a tad bit closer. What the hell did she want? He just stood there for a moment, mildly confused before he bothered to reply, “No.” He said and in that moment he wasn’t entirely sure what he was saying no to, exactly.

 

Marisa hummed a little, her gaze drifting briefly and Jake felt the corners of his mouth pull down in a frown when he realised her eyes had flickered to his lips.

 

“Well,” She started, “Now you know.” He could smell the alcohol on her breath now and he hated it. The way her eyelashes fluttered, how she lowered her voice just so, Jake despised it. His attention was briefly drawn to commotion in the other room, his gaze drawn towards it before it was forced back to the girl in front of him as she took a hold of his chin and turned his head for him.

 

This was getting ridiculous.

 

“Don’t mind them.” Marisa said with a sickeningly sweet smile and Jake hadn’t felt this uncomfortable in his damn life. He breathed in slowly before he reached up and took her wrist in his hand to pull hers away from his face.

 

“Don’t do that.” Jake said although he suspected he didn’t sound as firm as he meant to because she just laughed and draped her arms over his shoulders instead, truly leaning on him now. That was enough.

 

“You smell awful.” He stated as matter-of-factly as he could and just like that she pulled back immediately, looking startled at his blunt words.

 

“Wh-“ She started, looking genuinely bewildered and distraught and Jake briefly noted to himself that was the first time he’d seen her be this sincere since he met her.

 

He, rather than hanging around in the moment of embarrassment, shook his head and pushed past her without another word. He’d left Dwight alone for too long now and that made him feel uncomfortable. He didn’t really think something would happen to the other, but… still. It made him uneasy. He knew what some of the people here had done to his friend in the past. It was shitty enough that Marisa had managed to drag him away from Dwight at all.

 

He exited the kitchen and looked around the crowded living room, his eyes narrowing as he searched for the teen. He’d left him here. Where’d he go? Couldn’t have gone far. Jake knew he wasn’t in the kitchen, at least. Thank god. He really didn’t want to go back in there for the next hour, at least. With a groan, he made his way to the hallway, only finding a couple of teens making out against the wall there and he couldn’t help the disgust from showing on his face as he passed them on his way down the stairs to the basement.

 

Down there, the music was even louder and so were the drunken teens. Someone was yelling and others were hollering. A group of teens were stood around a table, and although Jake couldn’t see what was on it, he was assuming it wouldn’t be who he was looking for. He spared a glance at it before he went over to a few people that he knew he could stand, at least. They were sat on one of the sofas set around a rather big TV screen, talking excitedly with each other.

 

Jake tapped a kid’s shoulder, watching him turn to look at Jake before he asked him if he’d seen Dwight. The teen raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head, expressing his confusion, “Didn’t even know that guy was here.” He said and Jake reeled in his urge to start a verbal fight over the apprehension that was laced into those words. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at the group to convey his disapproval before he turned and left without a word.

 

Dwight was around here somewhere. The question now was ‘where’.

 

Jake scanned the rest of the basement quickly then made his way upstairs once more. He really shouldn’t have left Dwight alone. Goddamn it. He was starting to worry now and the way it knotted itself in his stomach made Jake feel nauseous.

 

The teen continued his search throughout the house, finding absolutely zero sign of Dwight but he was quickly attracted to the sound of whooping and hollering outside.

 

“Do it!” He heard the shouting and his heart sank.

 

Jake pushed his way past people lingering in the opening of the backdoor, hurrying to the circle of people but he was too late. They were tossing the contents of their cups to whatever, or _whoever_ was in the middle and Jake’s breath felt heavy in his lungs.

 

“What the hell?” He grit out, pushing someone out of his way so he could enter the circle but he froze when what he saw registered in his brain.

 

There Dwight was, looking like he was trying to keep tears at bay as he sat on his knees on the ground. But it wouldn’t matter even if they spilled because he was drenched in beer and god knows what else. His glasses were dirty and he had a cut on his cheek. Jake’s chest constricted at the sight of it and before he could even think, his body surged forward and he put himself between the group and his friend.

 

Someone yelled something. Jake didn’t listen, didn’t even know what was being said to him. His focus was solely on Dwight as he knelt down beside him, looking him over quickly before he took his arm in his hands and pulled the two of them up and onto their feet.

 

“C’mon, man.” He told Dwight quietly, feeling overwhelmed with worry and anger. He was about to say more when he got interrupted by shouting.

 

“What the fuck! Mind your own business, dude!” Dwight winced beside him and Jake whirled around to where that voice had come from, “Shut the _fuck_ up.” He said in return, having a hard time keeping his voice level.

 

Jake didn’t want to spend a second longer here than he absolutely needed to. He held onto Dwight’s arm as he started pulling him away, pushing anyone in his way aside with more force than was necessary. Fucking savages. How could anyone ever _do_ this to someone?

 

Jake was fuming  as he threw open the front door, wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulders as he started leading him towards his car. He smelled awful and felt sticky to the touch, but Jake didn’t care. He needed to get Dwight out of here. ASAP.

 

“It’s okay, man. I got you.” He tried to assure the other, worried by the fact that Dwight hadn’t said a single thing yet. Fuck. Fucking fuck _. Fuck_!  
  
Unlocking the car quickly, Jake pulled open the passenger door before letting go of the silent teen, ushering him inside and shutting the door afterwards. The way Dwight just… Stared ahead. It made Jake more worried than he truly cared to admit and honestly it reminded him of descriptions he had heard of people in shock. This was appalling.

 

He hurried to get into the car himself, throwing one last glance at that horrid house as he pulled onto the road and drove away. Jake said nothing for a moment, just shaken and trying to calm himself down enough to be coherent.

 

“I’m so sorry, man. I shouldn’t have left you alone. God, I- Are you okay?”   
  
Dwight was quiet for another moment before he sniffled, reaching up to take off his glasses. Despite the fact that he was crying, Jake was just glad that the other was reacting at all now. Anything was better than that haunting silence.

 

Jake bit his lip as he glanced at his friend before turning his gaze back to the dark road. Dwight clearly wasn’t okay. God… He should never have let himself be convinced to go and he should’ve never invited Dwight to come along with him. What was he thinking? That he could keep everyone with malicious intent at bay? How fucking delusional was Jake?

 

“It’s alright, Dwight. I’m taking you home, okay?” He said, just feeling… absolutely awful about all of this. It wouldn’t have happened if he’d just stuck with Dwight.

 

Dwight choked out a sob before he shook his head, wiping at his eyes. “N-no.” He said quietly, and Jake was startled to hear him speak at all.

 

“No?” He repeated, confused.

 

“I don’t- I don’t want to go home.” Dwight managed and Jake gripped the wheel tightly. He thought for a moment then released a breath slowly. “I don’t want to be alone.” Dwight continued before he succumbed to his sobs and cried freely. Jake saw the other’s shoulders shake from the corner of his eyes and he couldn’t help himself as he reached over and put a hand on the other’s arm, squeezing gently in a manner that was hopefully assuring.

 

“Alright, man. I won’t leave you alone. You can stay at my place tonight.” He said before he let go, taking his hand back and putting it to the steering wheel once more, “If you want to.”

 

The interior of the car was dark and the only source of light was the streetlights, whizzing past them as Jake took them away from the party. In any other circumstance, the night brought Jake comfort. Seeing the red lights on cars ahead of his own normally brought a sense of calm to the teen but as his friend’s quiet sobs filled the air between them, Jake couldn’t really enjoy much of anything.

 

“Okay.” Dwight managed after a few, hiccupped attempts. It broke Jake’s heart, more so than he ever thought was possible. Silently, he nodded and just drove home.

 

The drive was longer than Jake would’ve liked; the radio didn’t do much to distract him from Dwight’s quiet crying and each time a sob escaped the other, his heart clenched painfully. _Should’ve never left him alone._

 

Jake felt too guilty about the whole ordeal to worry about what his friend might think of his home situation. Rather, once he parked the car and killed the engine, he got out as fast as he could, opening Dwight’s door and shutting it behind him as well. He lead him through the house quietly, forgetting that he was supposed to be anxious about this sort of thing. He’d never really brought any friends home before, not since elementary school.

 

Rather, he was too occupied getting Dwight upstairs and to his room to think about much else but his friend. Once they were stood in his room Jake took one look at the miserable form of Dwight Fairfield that he almost brought his arms up for a hug.

 

“Want to shower?” He asked instead, already moving to open the door to the bathroom adjacent to his sleeping quarters, grabbing a clean towel from the shelves there. Jake glanced back in time to catch Dwight’s wordless nod as the other wiped his eyes again, stepping into the bathroom after him.

 

“Okay, well,” Jake started, handing over the towel which Dwight took, keeping his gaze down at the floor. God, he wished he could understand what exactly was going through his mind right now, at least Jake would know exactly what to do to _fix_ this. “Turn this knob for waterflow, this one for temperature. This way for warmer, the other for colder. I’ll give you some clothes to wear too. There should be a packaged toothbrush in the cabinet, feel free to use it.” He explained pointing for clarification, offering a small smile before he slipped past the still damp teen. He had no trouble picking out some sweatpants and t-shirt from his closet but he took a deep breath before grabbing some clean boxers as well. Dwight could decide himself if he wanted to wear those or not.

 

Saying nothing but a ‘here you go’, Jake put the garments on the bathroom floor before he exited, shutting the door behind himself to leave his friend to do what he needed.

 

He sighed then glanced around his room, realising that he should probably offer the guestroom to Dwight when he came out of the shower; they could share Jake’s bed easily. It was more than big enough for two people but the teen wasn’t sure if Dwight was comfortable with that. Jake didn’t really care either way. But he had to admit he didn’t much like the idea of leaving the other by himself.

 

Jake decided to not think about it too much as he heard the shower being turned on, instead sighing and getting changed into his sleeping shirt and some comfy shorts. He took a seat on the edge of his bed, pulling his legs up and taking out his phone as he waited for Dwight to finish up.

 

A good while later, Dwight emerged from the bathroom, eyes puffy and red but at least Jake couldn’t see any tears anymore.

 

“You good?” He asked and got a nod in return.

 

“Okay. Hey, so, do you want to stay in the guest room? I only have this bed and we can share, but I figured I’d ask.”

 

Dwight just looked at him for a moment then visibly forced a smile before he made his way over to the bed, “I prefer here.” He said and it was so quiet that Jake wasn’t sure if he’d even heard him speak at all.

 

The teen got to his feet once more, watching as Dwight slid into bed and attempted to make himself comfortable, “Okay. I’m just gonna brush my teeth.” He said, turning on his heel and heading back into the bathroom.

 

The scent of soap still hung in the air and the mirror was a little fogged up; it was weird to have someone else use his shower. It smelled like his own shampoo, but there was a hint of something else there too. Mingled in with Jake’s usual soap smell. It was vaguely familiar.

 

Instead of dwelling on it for too long, though, Jake just got to brushing his teeth so he could get to bed. He wasn’t tired, not at all, but leaving Dwight alone made him uneasy, even if he knew he was just in the other room. Thus Jake did what he had to and then returned to the bedroom, catching Dwight wiping his eyes hastily.

 

“Hey.” Jake said quietly, turning off the lights before he tentatively found his way over to the bed without bumping into anything. He heard a sniffle in the dark that was followed by a croaky ‘hi’ before he slipped under the covers himself.

 

There fell a silence between them, only broken by Dwight’s occasional hiccup and sniffle. After a few minutes, Jake couldn’t stand it anymore and spoke up once more, his voice quiet as he did.

 

“You okay?” He asked, knowing full well that Dwight was anything but okay. A stupid question, really, now that he thought about it. “I mean- do you need some water or anything?” He continued on, trying to talk himself out of his own idiocy. Jake was resolutely staring up at his ceiling but he heard the covers shift ever so slightly as Dwight most likely shook his head and muttered a near silent ‘no’.

 

Jake was about to continue in his line questioning when Dwight interrupted him, “I don’t want to talk about it either.” He said and Jake supposed that was fair. He hummed in affirmation then sighed, “Alright. G’night, then. Wake me if you need something.” The teen told the other before he shut his eyes, just listening to all the little sounds in the room. Dwight shifting, hearing him settle. And eventually, after a long while, he listened as the other’s breath slowly evened out.

 

Jake didn’t know how much time had passed but he felt wide awake still. Slowly, he opened his eyes once more and shifted carefully, turning to look at the other.

 

He exhaled slowly as he laid beside his friend, making sure that there was enough space between them so that they wouldn’t accidentally brush against one another. He noticed, though, while he lay on his side, head resting on his pillow, that Dwight still had dried tear tracks on his cheeks.

 

Jake studied the other’s face, glad to know that at least Dwight couldn’t be upset if he was in dreamland and on all accounts, the teen seemed to be fast asleep. He felt restless, somehow, after what had happened tonight and his eyes didn’t feel heavy at all. So instead of trying to force himself to sleep, he counted the faint freckles on the bridge of Dwight’s nose. The moon shone just right through his bedroom window, lighting the room faintly but just enough for Jake to see the marks. His gaze moved from the other’s nose to his cheeks, finding patterns in the freckles. He smiled slightly, managing to imagine small constellations in all the small dots that littered Dwight’s face.

 

The only thing that ruined it, were the dried tears. Jake’s mood dropped almost instantly when he remembered them and his smile faltered. He’d never felt this bad on someone else’s behalf before and it actually hurt his heart. The teen shut his eyes, fearing that he might start tearing up himself now that images from earlier that evening flashed through his mind. It’d be a first for Jake; to cry for someone that wasn’t himself. The guilt had settled heavily in his stomach though and it weighed him down in the dark.

 

The teen forced his eyes back open, shifting carefully to lie on his back again without disturbing his sleeping friend. His hand slid to his chest and gripped the shirt in his fist, finding that breathing felt _uncomfortable_. It felt bad to know that if he’d just handled the situation differently, if he’d made a different choice, this wouldn’t have had to happen to Dwight. It was all on Jake.

 

If he hadn’t told him about the party.

 

If he hadn’t picked him up and taken him to that awful house.

 

If he hadn’t left him by himself.

 

If he hadn’t let Marisa distract him.

 

If he had found him quicker.

 

If, if, if, if.

 

The word drifted through his head endlessly, intent to let Jake know that he’d done wrong, that he had made mistakes. And that he’d had so many chances to avoid this outcome. Jake exhaled shakily before he turned his head to look at Dwight again. He was safe now, beside Jake, and he was loathe to let him go anytime soon.

 

The urge to wrap an arm around the other teen crept up on him, and it was so suddenly there and so pressing that Jake actually had trouble keeping his hands to himself. He wanted to hold him, to make sure he was okay and that nothing bad could happen to him while he was clutched to Jake’s chest.

 

It was ridiculous.

 

But it would probably feel nice.

 

The teen frowned at himself, resolutely tucking his arms to his own chest. He wouldn’t do it. This was stupid. He was being stupid. It wasn’t as if he could keep Dwight away from anything bad in this world just by hiding him away in his bed. He kind of wished he could, though.

 

Jake supposed, as he mulled it over, that he would just have to _hope_ that nothing like this ever happened again. And the only way to minimize the chance of such a thing was to spend as much time with Dwight as he possibly could. The prospect of that… He didn’t hate it.

 

The sleeping teen made a small noise in his sleep, shifting for a moment before he stilled again and Jake’s heart rate went through the roof in that second. His entire body had frozen, the irrational fear of ‘he knows’ passing through his mind before he realised that Dwight was still very much dreaming.

 

This really was ridiculous.

 

Jake exhaled slowly, trying to slow his racing heart as he forced his fist to relax. _What was Dwight supposed to know, anyway_? That his friend felt an intense urge to protect him? Absurd.

 

‘ _Wanting to hold him is kind of weird, though’_ the thought passed through his mind like a gust of wind and it was enough for Jake to turn away from the other entirely. He moved to lie on his side, facing away from Dwight.

 

He should get some sleep. It was late. He shut his eyes and tried to subdue his mind and clear it, but the ball was rolling now and Jake hated it.

 

He was just protective. That was all there was to it. He wanted his first true friend to be happy, that wasn’t weird.

 

_God-fucking-damnit._

 

Jake might be in this deeper than he thought.

 

His chest blossomed warmly and his expression soured. This was going to _suck_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JAKEY, MY BOY, MY DUDE. How about those feelings, huh?


	7. Sun's in his Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwight needs distractions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the relative long wait!! I had some trouble getting this chapter out for some reason but there you go... Enjoy :)

The sun shining in his eyes was what roused Dwight, his eyes blinking blearily as he moved a hand to block it out. His mouth felt a bit dry and generally, the teen just felt tired. He exhaled slowly, looking around as he realised that he wasn’t in his own bed. Dwight had no idea where his glasses were but he figured he didn’t really need them as he sunk further into the mattress, relaxing once more. As he stared up at the ceiling, everything just a white blur, he recalled the night before.

 

He'd been having fun, had enjoyed watching other people drinking and dancing and laughing. It was nice, having been so close when it happened with no one paying special attention to him. Just having Jake stand beside him was the only thing that made it better; he wasn’t observing other kids having fun _by himself_. He was doing it with a _friend_. Despite the fact that whatever Dwight had poured into his cup tasted like he was trying to chug gasoline (with a hint of coca cola mixed in) and made him feel a little woozy, he really had been enjoying himself.

 

Really had been.

 

Until he’d sent Jake away. He shouldn’t have done that. Jake hadn’t wanted to go, Dwight knew that now. At the time, he just thought his friend was being melodramatic; Jake was good at that sort of thing. Especially when it came to the whole friendship issue. Cynical and definitely dramatic.

 

Dwight sighed as he ran a hand down his face now, hearing his friend beside him breathing evenly which suggested he was still very much asleep. Good. He’d hate to have the other see him be this pathetic in the daylight. He sniffed into the quiet of the room.

 

He still felt awful. The teen had hoped that he’d feel better in the morning, that he’d be able to brush it off but crying his eyes out in Jake’s car had done something more to him than he expected. Apparently, anyway. His chest ached (more so than usual after an incident like this) and it made Dwight uncomfortable as he listened to Jake’s breathing.

 

The teen shouldn’t have told his friend to go off without him. And he shouldn’t have wandered out of the safety of that living room. Dwight hadn’t known about the security that room had provided; what with it being crowded enough to go mostly unnoticed in it. He also hadn’t realised that he had needed that anonymity that evening. Hadn’t realised that Kevin and his friends would spot him and despise that fact that he’d “had the guts to show himself there”.  After that, it had been much of a blur. Dwight had regretted drinking at all in that very moment, he could remember that much. Everything had gone so fast. Kevin had grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him out towards the yard with his friends yelling and hollering behind them.

 

He'd lost sight of even the house when he was pushed into the centre of the circle of bodies the other teenagers had formed, forced to stand there and take the verbal abuse of his bullies. Until verbal had turned into physical and someone had thrown their drink at him when he failed to respond to a question. That had been enough for the others to follow suit, telling him how useless and what an idiot he was as they tossed their precious alcohol and their cups at him. The ice cubes had been an awful bonus.

 

Then someone had come up from behind and pushed him down to his knees by his shoulders, making sure to hit his back with their knee as Dwight fell onto knees, his hands shooting out to catch himself before he could faceplant into the grass. They told him to lick it off of the dirt; to clean up the mess they made. Alcohol was bad for plants, so Dwight better make himself useful for once.

 

He hadn’t done it. He couldn’t. The teenager had been too frozen in fear and horror, instead he had just sat on his knees as the crowd jeered at him. Another plastic cup hit him straight in the face and Dwight hadn’t been able to keep tears at bay.

 

Even now, as he lay in bed, Dwight could still imagine the stickiness of the sugary drinks on his skin and the wet dirt under his hands and legs. Could still practically hear the shouts and commands.

 

A shaky sigh left his lips and he reached up to find his glasses on the bed stand, his fingers searching the surface until they bumped into the familiar frame. He slipped them onto his face, blinking up at the ceiling once more.

 

Dwight wasn’t sure what would have happened if Jake hadn’t suddenly appeared, pushing through the ring of intoxicated teenagers. If he hadn’t gotten in between him and the others, picked him off of the ground and rushed him out of that house and away from the party. Dwight didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened then.

 

He turned his head, ignoring how his glasses pressed into the side of his face uncomfortably as he looked at a sleeping Jake. Funny. He’d seen Jake sleep before, but it felt different somehow, now. And not just because Jake was hugging a pillow to his chest and practically curled up around it, although Dwight had to admit he’d never imagined his friend to be a hugger. His face was slack, relaxed, but it was clear that the teen had a tight grip on the poor pillow.

 

Dwight noticed how the sunlight looked on Jake’s ruffled black hair as it lay splayed on the white pillow beneath his head, wondering how it must look on his own shorter locks. He reached up, running a hand through the mess on top of his own head, his hand briefly getting tangled in it. Jake’s didn’t seem as tangled as Dwight’s felt but it looked… mussed, to say the least. It managed to draw a smile to the teenager’s lips. It didn’t stick, though, as he remembered how he was infringing on Jake’s privacy. Something he knew the other teen valued over anything. His friend shouldn’t have been forced to let Dwight into his private space but Dwight had been selfish. Had let himself be too pathetic in front of the other.

 

Of course Jake couldn’t say no to someone bawling their eyes out in his car. Jake wasn’t like that. Standoff-ish, sure, but a _good_ person.

 

So Dwight felt awful for manipulating Jake like that, even if he hadn’t meant to do that, last night. He’d just said what he was thinking, aching for someone to hear him.

 

He shut his eyes, swallowing as he felt a lump forming there. The last thing he needed was Jake to wake up to him crying again. If he could keep the other teenager from realising how much of a wreck Dwight could be, then everything would be alright. He needed to keep it together.

 

After a moment of composing himself, he opened his eyes once more, his gaze settling on Jake again. At least his friend looked at peace. Although… There was a slight furrow starting to form on his brow and Dwight wondered what was causing it. He just looked for another minute before he turned away and slowly moved to get up, deciding that the slowly building pressure on his bladder was enough to get uncomfortable now.

 

Carefully, he lifted up his side of the covers, slipping out from between the sheets. His bare feet hit the floor softly and apparently the sun had been warming that particular patch on the flooring because it felt pleasantly warm under his toes. Dwight took a moment to simply enjoy the delightful feeling of the sun on his limbs before he finally padded across the room to the bathroom, doing his absolute best to make the least amount of noise that he could.

 

One glance at the shower reminded him that he’d simply left his dirty clothes on the tiled floor and shame settled in his bones. Goddamn it. After he flushed the toilet and washed his hands quickly, he snatched the garments off of the floor. He felt a little lost as he stood in the middle of the room with the crusted and stinking clothes in his hands. Dwight realised with a sinking feeling that all there was to it was to just put them back on and hurry home.

 

… He’d leave it until he had to go. The sweatpants Jake had given him were soft and a lot more appealing than his own dirty jeans. After a moment of further hesitating, he folded the shirt and jeans, putting them on the laundry basket carefully before he went back into the bedroom, blinking when he found a sleepy looking Jake sat up in the bed, attempting to run a hand through his hair.

 

“Hey.” Jake muttered, lingering sleep making his voice heavy. It made the corner’s of Dwight’s mouth tug up involuntarily. The sun rays that came through the window practically bathed his friend in light and as Dwight went to shut the door behind him, he unconsciously wiped a sweaty hand on his pants.

 

“Morning.” Dwight replied quietly as he stood in front of the door, entirely unsure on whether he was supposed to move or not. Should he just get back into bed? Were they getting up? The uncertainty pulled heat to his cheeks from embarrassment as Jake just looked at him for a moment before the teen fell back onto his back, groaning.

 

“Did you sleep okay?” Dwight asked, prompted by the silence and mildly surprised at the apparent reluctance to move displayed by his friend.

 

Jake yawned once before he stretched his arms and legs, seemingly going through the motions of waking up fully. And then, only then, did he turn his head to look at Dwight again, his eyes a little less squinty than they had been, “Yeah. Took a while before I fell asleep, though.” He said before he rolled onto his stomach in the middle of the bed, face down as he spread his arms and legs, properly star-fishing. Dwight couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in him as he watched, moving towards the bed to nudge his friend.

 

“What’s up?”

 

Dwight noticed the deep inhale from Jake before the teen turned his head to face him, although his gaze seemed to be just off of Dwight, which… worried him just a little. Was Jake upset with him?

 

“Hungry. Lazy.”

 

“Should we go eat?”

 

Jake groaned again, “I don’t want to get up.”

 

Dwight nodded slowly then took a seat on the space left on the bed, “Well, you kinda have to make a choice.” He said then smiled at the half-hearted glare he got in return for his wise words. Jake moved his arm, almost like he was going to reach out to him then, instead of that, he put it down and pushed himself into a sitting position. Dwight felt a pang of confusion at the realisation that the other had changed his mind on whatever it was he was going to do. He briefly even wondered if Jake didn’t want to touch him after what happened last night, but he discarded it; Jake had put an arm around him as they left, so surely that couldn’t be the case.

 

Well, Dwight certainly hoped that wasn’t the case.

 

Either way, Jake was wide-awake now and as he moved to get up, Dwight got back on his feet to give the other teen space.

 

“Give me a few.” He said before he disappeared into the bathroom and Dwight couldn’t do much else but give in to the urge to fall onto Jake’s bed, only now realising how soft it was. Especially with the blankets being so cushiony. Almost felt like what he imagined a cloud to feel like. As he heard the shower being turned on and the water running, he allowed himself to relax against the mattress, catching Jake’s scent in his nose as he breathed. It was oddly comforting and all Dwight wanted to do in that moment was pull the covers over his head, curl up in his friend’s bed and hide from the rest of the world.

 

His quiet reverie was broken when he heard the door open again after a while and Jake’s soft footsteps on the floor as he approached, “Still tired?” Dwight heard behind him and he couldn’t really summon the will to speak up in that moment. After a good couple of seconds he finally found his voice and reluctantly moved into an upright position, “Nah... It’s just really comfortable.”

 

Jake nodded slowly then shrugged, looking around before he headed for his dresser, starting to pull out clothes and Dwight couldn’t help but glance at the towel wrapped around his friend’s waist. He felt his cheeks warm up and he hastily averted his gaze, hoping to god that Jake wouldn’t turn around and see it, lest he take it the wrong way or something…

 

“So- uh…” Dwight started, trying to distract himself a little by speaking while Jake rummaged around a drawer for a pair of pants, “I guess you saw my clothes just now? They’re uh- kind of dirty, so I hope you don’t mind me stinking your car up later.” He tried to sound casual, he really did. But even he could hear the uncertainty in his voice, “I mean-! If you’re willing to drive me home, anyway. Ha, jeez, I just assumed that, didn’t I? Sorry. It’s okay if you don’t-”

 

“You can borrow some of mine.” Jake interrupted his rant before it could start up easily enough, glancing at Dwight briefly before he turned away again, fresh clothes in hand, “I don’t mind.” The teen continued as he turned on his heel and wandered back into the other room to get dressed properly.

 

Before the door shut, though, Dwight managed a meek, “Oh, okay.” And then the teenager was left alone with his thoughts once more. He felt awkward. Like he wasn’t really supposed to be here. Dwight sighed and plucked at the covers briefly before he got up, looking around a bit helplessly. He really wished his friend would’ve given more directions instead of just leaving him alone in his room like this. Not for the first time, Dwight really wished he hadn’t gone to Kevin’s party.

 

After a minute or so, Jake exited the bathroom, fully dressed and with still wet hair. He blinked at Dwight, pausing before he spoke up.

 

“You could’ve grabbed some clothes.” He said, gesturing to the dresser and Dwight felt heat rising to his cheeks once more.

 

“I, uh- didn’t want to assume I could just go through your stuff.” The teen explained.

 

His friend had a hint of a smile on his lips before he pulled some clothes from the furniture at random, handing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to Dwight, “It’s fine.”

 

Dwight muttered his thanks as he took the garments from him, hesitating before he just took off the shirt he’d been sleeping in, only briefly noticing Jake turning away from him as he did so. He thought nothing of it as he quickly changed, mildly aware that his friend was resolutely not looking at him all the while. Instead, Jake seemed to be looking for something on the floor. Just as Dwight tugged on the waistband of the jeans to get them to sit right on hips, Jake pulled out a plastic bag from under a pile of books stacked beside his desk. Dwight raised an eyebrow as he watched the other. He didn’t have to wonder long though, because the other was quick to collect his friend’s dirty clothes from the bathroom and put them in the bag before he handed it all to Dwight.

 

“There.” He said simply.

 

“Ah.” Dwight responded dumbly, “Thanks.”

 

Jake looked at him for a moment, his gaze dropping down to inspect him from head to toe before he grinned at Dwight, “Not your style, but it looks good.” He said.

 

Before Dwight could manage to speak through his flustered surprise at the compliment, Jake continued.

 

“Want to hang out before I drop you off? I wanna get some food and go to the arcade or something.”

 

“The arcade?”

 

The embarrassment was immediately forgotten. Dwight had never been to arcade. He’d heard _of_ the arcade, but he’d never gone himself. Something about going by yourself just seemed like a bad idea for someone like Dwight. He was curious, though…

 

“Yeah.” Jake said with a shrug, “Beat you at skee-ball. That kinda thing.”

 

Dwight couldn’t help the grin, “You think you could beat me?”

 

To be honest, Dwight was about 90% sure that Jake could and _would_ beat him at any of those arcade games, simply because the other had probably done them before. Still, there was that 10% of luck or undiscovered talent that was still on his side.

 

“Probably.”

 

“We’ll see about that.”

 

A year ago, Dwight wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told him that he’d ever be able to be cheered up so easily by another person and he’d call you cruel if you were to tell him he’d have an honest to god _friend_ to play Street Fighter with. But here he was, an hour later, standing in a dark room with colourful mood lights spinning above all the arcade machines as his fingers mashed buttons before he let out a triumphant holler and threw his arms up in the air in victory.

 

“You got lucky.” Jake said with a huff as he pulled away from the machine, eyeing the screen for a moment longer before he turned to look at Dwight who grinned in return as he lowered his arms. The smugness he was sure was showing on his face refused to leave and it wasn’t like the teen was really making an effort of supressing it anyway.

 

“Or I’m just better than you.” He replied and laughed when Jake rolled his eyes and turned on his heel, starting to walk down the rows of beeping machines.

 

Dwight smiled as he followed him, his gaze briefly dropping down to all the glow in the dark shapes on the floor, thinking to himself that it was a little odd to put planets on the floor, but hey, he was no interior designer.

 

“So, what now?” Dwight asked as he caught up with Jake, choosing to walk beside his friend. He’d gotten into that habit a little more and it was silly, but it just felt _nice_ to be next to the other.

 

“Dunno. Could go for food.”

 

“We ate like half an hour ago.”

 

Jake didn’t bother glancing at Dwight for that, he just shrugged his shoulders as per usual, “I’m a growing boy, cut me some slack, man.”

 

“I feel like you just want junk food again.” He said, brushing off the nudge he received from Jake’s elbow without a second thought.

 

“Is that so bad?” Jake asked and Dwight smiled.

 

They made brief stops at some games, playing against each other and occasionally Dwight opted out to just watch Jake try to set a high score on a particular machine and never quite making it.

 

It took them a couple hours, but they were about to run out of coins when Dwight spotted a claw machine and he headed for it like a man on a mission. He eyed the contents of the thing, ignoring the stuffed toys. What piqued his interest was mostly the occasional ‘mystery eggs’ that lay in between the brightly coloured animals and cartoon characters. Clearly, those capsules contained something smaller and Dwight wanted to see _what_. So, he fished out the last coins out of his pocket, pushing one into the machine.  


It beeped to life, the buttons flashing to indicate it was ready to be used. Jake came to stand behind him as Dwight tried to carefully manoeuvre the claw directly above the desired prize. When he hit the button to grab, though, he knew that the claw would miss it. Sure enough, the metal grazed the plastic, briefly closing on a stuffed alien’s arm before it lost its grip and moved back to its starting position, dropping nothing but air into the chute. Dwight huffed but didn’t hesitate to feed the machine his last coin, ignoring Jake’s chuckle.

 

“These things are rigged.” His friend said from behind him, but the teen paid him no mind. He wanted that egg and goddamn it, he was going to get it.

 

“I need to concentrate.” He muttered, positioning the claw once more, moving himself to the side of the glass so he could see if it was right above the plastic prize. When he was satisfied, he pushed the grab button once more and subsequently dropped his forehead against the glass when he saw the claw lose its grip on his desired bounty.

 

“Damn it.” Dwight said, knowing full well that he had nothing left to gamble with. He wallowed in his loss then straightened back up, stepping back when Jake nudged him aside.

 

“Here, hold on.” The other teen glanced at Dwight before he put one of his own coins into the machine, “There’s a trick to it.”

 

Jake inspected the contents quickly before he pointed, “You want one of those surprise things, right?” He asked and Dwight nodded.

 

“The one you went for is too tightly packed between the toys, man. The other one, though, looks attainable.” The teen grinned slightly as he carefully started to move the claw horizontally.

 

“I hope it doesn’t slip out of the grip.” Dwight comment as he watched Jake, blinking when the claw lowered and actually grabbed the egg. “Wait, you-” He started before his mouth fell open. The closed claw managed to make it all the way to the chute and the thud of the plastic hitting the prize bin sounded almost smug to his ears.

 

Jake bent down to collect it, holding it out to Dwight with a small grin.

 

“I’m not sure if you’re good at this, or just really lucky.” Dwight said, taking the offered egg. He didn’t waste much time in prying it open, taking out the small, fake leather bracelets that were inside. Honestly, Dwight wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or not, but at least his curiosity was sated. He hummed as he put the bracelets on his right wrist, shaking them a little before he looked up at Jake who was watching him with a dopier smile than he’d ever seen on his friend before.

 

When Jake seemed to realise that Dwight was looking at him, though, the smile quickly fell off his face and he turned away hurriedly. Dwight frowned, hating how that gesture alone made him feel nervous. He tossed the plastic into a nearby trashcan before he turned back to his friend, clearing his throat, “Thanks for winning it for me.” He said, already moving his left hand to twirl the bands on his wrist idly.

 

“No-” Jake paused to clear his throat, shaking his head and waving a hand dismissively, “No problem.”

 

“Do you want to go get that food now?” Dwight suggested and Jake nodded quickly which was enough for the two of them to set off in search of something to eat.

 

When it got later, and they had decided that they’d seen and done everything they could at the arcade, Jake had agreed to drop Dwight off and as it was now, Dwight was sat by himself on his family’s sofa. He could faintly hear the washing machine run as his drink stained clothes were being washed. The house was otherwise quiet and empty save for him. It wasn’t very late yet; around 4 in the afternoon and yet Dwight could already feel his mood sinking. Jake had managed to cheer him up, to keep his mind occupied and off of what happened the night before but as he sat in utter silence without anyone nearby, Dwight couldn’t keep himself on the feel-good-train.

 

In an attempt to keep the silence from ringing in his ears, the teen turned on the TV, just to have the background noise there before he got to his feet. He should do something. His fingers were playing with the new bracelets on his wrist as he looked around, faintly aware that he was starting to form a habit of that already. He twirled the fake leather as he wandered into the kitchen, finding it to be spotless and tidy. Nothing to do there, then.

 

The TV droned on in the living room as Dwight wandered further into his house and when he found everything to be clean downstairs, he headed up into his own room. It was quiet here as well, and he could only faintly hear the movie’s explosions from the TV. A couple more twirls on the bands and then Dwight succumbed to his thoughts; he fell onto his bed and curled up, tucking his knees up to his chest as he lay on the duvet. He sniffled once, despising how it easy it was to get the waterworks going. The teen hated that about himself so much. Why did he let everything get to him?

 

A frustrated groan formed and escaped the adolescent as he scrubbed his hand over his teary eyes after he pulled his glasses off and tossed them onto his bed. He should probably be more like Jake; he didn’t seem to let shit get to him the way Dwight did. His friend just allowed his teen drama to slide off of him like it was nothing and god, Dwight wished he could do that too.

 

Jake wouldn’t be a fucking pathetic cry baby like this. Dwight grit his teeth, tugging on the bracelets on his wrist. This was bullshit. He’d gotten off just fine last night. Nobody had _hurt_ him; getting away with just some dirty clothes was practically like getting off scot-free. And yet, as the image of those drunken teens in the dark refused to leave his mental eye alone, Dwight could only feel sorry for himself.

 

“Fuck.” He muttered, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath to push away any other bad thoughts that were keen to haunt him. The teen wished his parents were home. They wouldn’t talk, but at least there’d be a distraction.

 

He sniffled again and the faint scent of Jake registered in his brain. Dwight opened his eyes, glancing down at himself and remembering he was still wearing his friend’s clothes. Awful. He was awful. The teen hiccupped as he sat up, moving to change into his own clothes so that he wouldn’t contaminate Jake’s any more than he already had. But he hadn’t managed to pull the shirt over his head yet or Dwight dropped his arms, finding that his mind eased at even just the hint of his friend being there. Even just having something that _belonged_ to him.

 

Dwight couldn’t stop himself as he once again pulled his knees up; he wrapped his arms around them to keep his legs in place before he rested his forehead on them, hiding his face and effectively breathing in the faint hints of clean laundry detergent and Jake. After a solid minute, Dwight hastily let go. This was weird. He was being weird. Nobody smelled their buddy’s clothes like this. _Fucking Christ, get it together, Fairfield._

 

If Jake would ever know about this, he’d freak, of that much Dwight was absolutely certain. So he vowed to himself to never, _ever_ let him know how wearing the other teen’s shirt inexplicably calmed him down.

 

_Okay. Focus. Don’t be weird._

 

Dwight felt his cheeks warm up as he gingerly got to his feet, grabbing his glasses quickly and he took a peek at himself in the mirror that hung from his door. He looked ruffled, his eyes were a bit red from the tears and all in all he just cut a pitiful figure. But, despite the fact that the outfit clearly wasn’t meant for someone like Dwight, seeing the clothes on himself thrilled him. A light chuckle bubbled up in his chest; he remembered the first time he’d seen this t-shirt. Jake had worn it when he had first sat down next to Dwight in class. Funny, he hadn’t realised that before…

 

Either way, Dwight had to admit that he liked wearing his friend’s clothes. Not because of the look, but just how it comforted him; his reflection only reinforced that idea. The blush on his cheeks held strong as he breathed carefully, trying to ease his quickening heartbeat. He’d never felt like this before and if Dwight would’ve had any experience in friendships or relationships, he might’ve realised then and there what it all _could_ mean. But instead, he smiled as he knew that there wouldn’t be anything or anyone else in the entire world that Dwight would trade his friendship with Jake for. He was his best (and frankly _only_ ) friend and the teen wouldn’t give that up for anything.

 

It was nice to know that even when the other wasn’t there, he was still unwittingly helping Dwight.

 

The teen twirled the bracelets on his wrist as he smiled at the mirror.

 

Yeah, he was never going to give this up.


	8. We can go Anywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Monday after the party brings changes to the status quo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here i am, 2 months late with a new chapter. :D I'm very sorry for the late update guys but I hope this is good enough for y'all. I had some trouble with writing it so I'm sorry if it isn't the best chapter out there but.... I tried :')

Monday wasn’t kind to them. Either of them, as it turned out. Jake had officially been spit out by the cool cliques after he’d interfered with their ‘fun’ at McNab’s birthday it seemed, because nobody tried to greet him. Instead he was thrown glares but was otherwise ignored by the high school royalty. That was no problem at all, it suited the teenager just fine, to be honest. 

Not to say that it didn’t worry him just a little. After all, this did mean that the status quo had changed. Maybe Jake ought to be a little more cautious over the next few days, just in case. You never did know what those idiots were capable of. 

The cafeteria didn’t yield envious or overly friendly gazes anymore; instead, Jake caught narrowed eyes and it was off-putting, to say the least. He didn’t understand how someone in their right mind could be this angry over what Jake had done. But he supposed that was just how teens thought. 

Jake said nothing as he collected his tray of food and made his way to Dwight and his usual table, setting himself down with nothing but a quiet sigh. His friend wasn’t here yet and normally that wouldn’t worry him, but it didn’t quite sit right with him today. After what had happened over the weekend, Jake couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his stomach. Any sort of appetite he’d had just a moment ago vanished as his mind conjured up every scenario that involved an upset Dwight or some shitty bullies. He felt his heart squeeze at the thought of Dwight getting hurt and his hand dropped the spoon he’d held in it, frustrated with himself. 

The crush that he had discovered this weekend, it made a lot of sense, and Jake hated that it did. Especially because now he knew exactly what he wanted to do and why he wanted to it but also why he shouldn’t even think about it, least of all say or do it. Stuff like holding his hand or hugging him or looking just a moment too long-

Yeah, Jake could admit he had it pretty bad. 

Either way, though, it didn’t help the situation at all. Jake was on the verge of getting up and abandoning his food to go find Dwight when said teen entered the cafeteria, pushing his glasses up his nose as he ducked his head just enough to avoid making eye-contact with McNab and his entourage. 

He navigated between the tables and other students until he reached Jake and he promptly sat down with a heavy sigh. 

“Mondays.” Jake said simply, allowing the start of a grin to show on his face but it fell quickly enough when Dwight didn’t look up at him and instead put his arms on the table and put his head down on them. “Uh…”

“You were right about the party.” The other said, his words somewhat muffled by his arms, “We shouldn’t have gone. I shouldn’t have gone.”

“What happened?” Jake was well-aware that this couldn’t be just about the party itself. Dwight wouldn’t be so downtrodden about it still, they’d bonded at the arcade and shit. No, something else must’ve gone down this morning as a result from The Incident. 

Dwight just shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t want to bother you with it.” He said before he reached over and picked up Jake’s spoon, stealing a bite from him wordlessly. 

Well, he supposed that something must’ve happened then. But Jake wasn’t sure if he could get Dwight to actually talk about it. At school, at least. Maybe he’d be a bit more talkative at home? Either way, the teen showed his disapproval of that line of thinking by furrowing his brows and huffing.

“When’s that ever bothered me?”

“Never,” Dwight answered easily, “But I never talked to you about it.” 

Jake blinked slowly, raising his gaze from the food that his friend was steadily pilfering from him. Hell. That was true, wasn’t it? Jake knew about the bullying because he heard about it and saw it happen. But Dwight had never said anything to him. And he had never asked.

The teen would’ve said something about it he had known what to say. Instead he sat up a little and muttered, “Well, if you want to talk about it to me, you can.”

“Not really.” His friend replied before he sat up a little as well, continuing to eat Jake’s food, “I’ll keep it in mind, though.”

He fell silent after that and Jake wondered if maybe he should go get more food because clearly he wasn’t going to eat his own lunch at this rate. He glanced down at the tray then when the spoon came back for another bite, he took the cutlery in his own hand, trying not to think about how warm Dwight’s fingers felt underneath his own. 

“Go get your own.” He muttered, hyper-aware of every subtle shift of the other’s hand as the spectacled teen tried to decide on whether to actually let go or not. 

After a moment that felt like a lifetime but still wasn’t long enough, Dwight did release his hold on the plastic cutlery and pull his hand back, leaving Jake missing the touch. The teen paid no mind to it though and instead put the spoon back on the tray, glancing up briefly to watch as the other looked around the cafeteria from behind his glasses. 

Dwight said nothing for a minute then perked up slightly before he bent down and retrieved his backpack. He pulled the borrowed clothes from it quickly and handed them to Jake over the table, “Thanks for letting me use them. They’re washed, so don’t worry.” 

Jake took them without a word, nodding as he simply stashed the garments into his own bag. Although his attention was drawn to the wolf whistle that suddenly sounded throughout the cafeteria. He looked up in time to see Kevin stand beside their table along with his douchebag friends and Jake was instantly alarmed at the smirk he saw on the bastard’s face. 

“That why you protected him, Park?” Kevin said, his eyes narrowing in sadistic delight, “Because you two are fucking gay?”

Well, no. To be fair, Jake hadn’t realised he liked Dwight like that until after what happened. But it still hit a giant nerve. 

The teen just shrugged in response though, keeping his gaze off of Dwight as he did. Instead, he turned it to his bag, zipping it up and dropping it to the floor. 

“Yeah, huh. You just want to fuck him, don’t you?” 

“What gives you that idea?” Jake asked in return, making sure to keep his voice level and his gaze disinterested. Maybe his father’s social teachings would come in handy after all.

Kevin scoffed at that, “Why else would you hang out with that fucking loser?”

Jake looked up then, taking a deliberate pause in his reply before he cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, “Are you jealous?” 

“What?”

“You miss me, McNab? You upset that I don’t hang out with you anymore? Could’ve just told me, y’know. Written me a secret little note and dropped it in my locker.”

Kevin was turning red and his fists were clenched beside him which told Jake enough. He had successfully pissed the guy off. Now to make their great escape. 

“Or are you projecting? Maybe the only reason you bully Dwight is because of your own unresolved gay feelings for him.” Jake continued before he simply got to his feet and gestured for Dwight to follow his example. “Those are the only explanations to make sense why you care, McNab.”

Kevin frowned, looking like he was a hair length away from beating the shit out of shorter teen, “I don’t care.” He said through gritted teeth.

Jake raised a brow in mock disbelief, swinging his backpack over his shoulder, “Then why are you taking the time to bother us?” 

The teenager cast a quick glance to his friend, keeping in a sigh as he saw Dwight keep his own eyes directed at the floor, his whole posture screaming insecurity as he got to his feet. 

Meanwhile, Kevin stayed silent, no doubt trying to figure out a response that wouldn’t backfire on him in some way. Well, Jake didn’t intend to stay around long enough for him to find one. So he simply started walking away from the group of students, glancing back only to check if Dwight was following and glad to see that he was. He led the way out of the cafeteria swiftly, taking care to look as nonchalant as possible, to avoid any hint of discomfort or the like. Jake knew that if they showed any sign that Kevin had actually bothered them, there’d be more trouble than the whole ordeal really was worth. And it would drag on longer than Jake had any patience for. 

Once far away enough, Jake turned around and inspected Dwight properly. He had to make sure his friend was okay. 

“You good?” He asked, a little worried by how fragile Dwight looked as he had his arms crossed over his stomach. Almost as if he was physically hurting from just listening to Jake and Kevin. 

The spectacled teen shrugged, taking another moment before he finally lifted his gaze from the ground to his friend, “Sorry.”

“Huh?”

What could Dwight possibly be apologising for? If he was about to say that any of this was his fault, Jake was sure he would have to-

“If you wouldn’t hang out with me, you wouldn’t have to deal with assholes like him. I’m sorry, Jake.”

“Hang on.” Jake held up a hand, halting Dwight from saying anything else, “You’re saying this is your fault?” 

“Well- It wouldn’t happen if-”

“Oh, shut up, man.”

Dwight looked more than a little taken aback by that. His eyes widened and his arms tightened around himself. Jake could easily imagine the other back up in bewilderment. He looked like he was on the verge to, anyhow. 

“Sure, shit would be different if we weren’t friends or if we hadn’t gone to McNab’s fucking party, but it’s not like I didn’t make any choices here. If there even is any blame to place, it’s not on you.”

“But he-!” 

“He would be an asshole anyway to whoever lets him.”

Dwight visibly deflated, although the furrow in his brow suggested that he wasn’t agreeing with Jake. He fell silent nonetheless before he sighed. Jake’s heart ached a little and he wished he could wrap the other teen in his arms and pull him against himself to let him know that everything was alright. 

But he couldn’t really do that; especially not after what had just happened. And definitely not at school.

“I guess.” Dwight eventually conceded.

Alright, so maybe Jake had laid it on too thick. Come across too aggressive or whatever, but that was only because he was passionate about this. He cared and sometimes the teen wasn’t sure what to do with emotions like these. 

He sighed then shook his head, “I’m just trying to say that it’s not your fault and I’m gonna listen to you trying to say that it is, alright?”

“Alright.” Dwight muttered in response before he started walking again, passing Jake carefully as he did so. The teen was surprised for a moment before he turned and followed after his crush, definitely worried now. Had he fucked up? Gone a step too far? Jake worried his lip between his teeth briefly, stopping in his tracks when Dwight did; watching him as he went about his business of opening his locker, still looking very much like he was trying to decide on whether to cry or not. 

Jake had no idea what to do with himself or with this situation. He’d tried to make Dwight feel better by denying him any right to blame but clearly his friend wasn’t after that. He didn’t know what else he really could give him right now. Jake felt like he had to say something, rectify whatever the real problem was here but he didn’t know what to say. His mouth opened and no words came out, his mind unable to supply him with any that’d help. 

Dwight, meanwhile, said nothing as he switched out books from his bag, resolutely keeping his gaze off of Jake. 

This felt awful. 

The hallways weren’t particularly busy at the moment; most students were having lunch either in the cafeteria or outside, so there were only some stragglers here and there. But even though there was just a few people, Jake still felt scared to just pull the other into a hug, like his instincts were telling him to do. 

“Dwight?” He muttered, feeling his heart sink in his chest when the other didn’t even look at him, “What’s wrong, man?”

His friend paused, his hand hovering in the air before it finally moved and shut the locker once more, “Nothing.” 

Jake almost felt indignant to know that Dwight didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth. 

“Clearly it’s not nothing.” 

“It’s stupid.” Dwight countered, shaking his head. 

“I’m stupid, just lay it on me.” 

The teenager finally looked up at that. He stared at Jake for a moment, an unsure smile threatening to spill onto his lips before he spoke once more, his voice awfully quiet as he did so, “You’re not stupid.”

Jake couldn’t help the tiny scoff that he let out, rolling his eyes, “No, I definitely am. But it’s okay, I’ve come to terms with it.” He said before he turned his gaze to his friend once more, a little afraid to feel relief just yet, “I just don’t want you to think you can’t talk to me, dude. You don’t have to, but you can.”

Apparently Jake had a fucking foot in his mouth today because Dwight’s ghost of a smile dropped off of his face almost immediately and he pursed his lips just the tiniest bit before he nodded, averting his gaze once more, “Duly noted.”

He couldn’t say the right thing without fucking up somehow, it seemed. 

“Okay, well…” He started, looking for any other topic to steer the conversation to; he didn’t think his heart could handle any more sad puppy Dwight right now, “Wanna skip?” He asked, the idea popping into his mind suddenly and with no warning. 

Dwight’s attention was definitely grabbed by that. His head tilted up again, enough to stare at Jake from behind his thick glasses, “What?”

“Yeah.” Jake said, a little surprised by his own suggestion but more than willing to roll with it. He was done with school for today. The people here sucked and honestly, it wasn’t like he was going to pay any special attention to any of his classes for the remainder of the day. Why not?

“This place is too gloomy. Let’s go get food, since you only got to steal mine anyway.” 

Dwight managed only to stare for a good while before his eyes flickered to a clock hanging on the wall behind Jake. 

“It’s not like we haven’t done it before.” Jake continued, truly intent on getting Dwight out of this Societal Factory of Misery. The more he thought about skipping classes, the more he felt inclined to go through with it. But only if Dwight joined him. There was no point, otherwise. 

The teenager said nothing for a moment longer before he sighed and fought a small smile, “Okay. I’m hungry.”

“That’s the spirit.” Jake said, grinning as he watched Dwight turn to walk beside him. He decided to let himself indulge and he lifted his arm before he dropped it onto Dwight’s shoulders, pulling him against himself briefly, “I was thinking McDonald’s.” 

Dwight ducked his head briefly but Jake could see the corner of his mouth tugging up ever so slightly; he was glad to see that his friend was smiling again. 

“You eat too much fast food, dude.” 

“Probably.”

The other huffed a restrained laugh and just like that, they were on their way out of the school. Jake dropped his arm eventually, shoving his hand into his pocket instead when he realised that his heart was beating a little faster than it ought to and irrationally he was afraid Dwight might pick up on that. Or the implications. 

On the drive, Dwight was still pretty quiet, but at least he wasn’t completely silent and he managed to glance at Jake every once in a while. So, honestly, it could’ve been worse. 

“You’re paying, right?” Dwight asked after a while, his voice lilting up which was enough of a hint for Jake to realise that his friend was being a little shit. “You’re the one who told me to skip class, so that’s the least you can do.” The other continued on and a short glance at the mirror was enough to give away the smile that played on Dwight’s face. 

“You’re the one who agreed to come.” Jake shot back half-heartedly, already fully knowing that he was going to end up buying. He just had to keep up appearances, really. 

Dwight hummed briefly, “You were practically begging me, Jake. I would’ve felt bad if I hadn’t said yes.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that you agreed, man.” 

Soon after, Jake’s car pulled into the drive-thru and not much later the two of them had their fast food in their laps shortly after Jake had parked so that they could eat comfortably. 

“So, listen…” Jake started, realising his mouth was full. He quickly swallowed, his eyes watering at the big gulp getting stuck halfway down his throat. To save face, he turned away from Dwight, trying to hit his chest as subtly as he could. Once he was sure he wasn’t choking anymore, he took a deep breath and turned to face Dwight once more, his mood souring just a little when he saw the knowing grin on his friend’s face.

“Yeah?” Dwight prompted him, and Jake was at least grateful that the other didn’t say anything about his gluttony. 

“Did you have any plans for after food?”

The more talkative one of the duo hummed briefly at that before he shook his head, “Not really. I… Just figured you’d come up with the game plan, to be honest.”

Well, Jake supposed that that was fair. It’d been like that for most of their friendship after all. 

“I guess. Well, listen, there’s this forest about an hour away from my place-”

“You really like the outdoors.”

Jake paused briefly at the interruption, glancing at Dwight with a raised eyebrow. What did he expect him to say to that?

“… Sure.” He said eventually, allowing Dwight to squirm a little bit at the silence he let hanging between them before he did so. “Anyway, I was thinking we could go there?”

The silence that met his suggestion was enough for Jake to understand that his friend wasn’t feeling up to it. He didn’t have much else to suggest though. So he said nothing as he sunk a little bit into his chair, keeping his gaze on the rest of the parking lot.

“Never mind.” Jake said eventually, shaking his head, getting more uncomfortable the longer the quiet dragged on between them which he was well-aware was not something that usually happened to him.

“We could do something else.” Dwight replied, picking at the burger in his hands, “Like uh… swimming? It’s warm.”

Swimming? Jake turned to look at his friend once more, forcibly keeping his thoughts away from picturing Dwight in swimwear. He never thought Dwight was one for that sort of thing, either. “Didn’t bring anything.” Jake pointed out, picking up his drink and shaking it just a little to hear the ice cubes hitting each other inside. 

“Well, then let’s go and pick our stuff up.” 

“Are you serious right now?” 

Dwight raised an eyebrow and Jake wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He just- hadn’t expected it, that was all. “Okay, okay.” Jake conceded before Dwight could say anything, waving a free hand. 

“Where are we going?” Jake asked, after he stuffed the last bit of fries into his mouth, fumbling to turn the key in the ignition.

The spectacled teen watched as his friend took a quick sip from his drink, taking the cup from him to set it down safely for him before he replied, “The lake.”

The lake, Jake faintly remembered visiting it once when he was younger. His mother had insisted on going out for a day with her sons but they hadn’t stuck around for very long; the place was way too humble for the Park family. There were no cafés, no seating and so many rowdy kids. Jake hadn’t even managed to dip his toe into the water before he got dragged back into the car and they had instead gone to some fancy waterpark two cities over. 

The teen nodded slowly as he tried to recall the place, mumbling, “You know the way?” As he properly started the car and pulled out of the parking spot. 

“I think so!” Dwight replied and the enthusiasm was back in his voice which was enough for Jake to manage a smile and finally settle down a little. 

A quick trip to the teens’ houses and then they were on their way to the lake his friend had been telling Jake about on the drive. 

“It’s not super big but it’s really nice and refreshing. I’ve gone by myself a few times, actually. I really like it there. It’s quiet if you pick the right days.”

“I like quiet.”

Dwight laughed lightly beside him and nodded, “Yeah, I know.”

Jake’s heart briefly sped up at the sound of it and he was glad he was on the highway; his foot stepped on the gas just a little harder than he maybe ought to but it was all he could do to keep from looking at his best friend with heart-shaped eyes. Thank God for his self-control, honestly. 

The two of them had changed their clothes entirely; only wearing their swimming trunks and t-shirts. The way Dwight had draped his towel around his shoulders and neck had also given Jake a small heart attack when the spectacled teen had initially stepped out of the front door with a grin on his face. Each little thing Dwight did ended up seeming more cute than the last and Jake was starting to get concerned for his own health. 

“Get off here and then take a right.” 

“Huh?”

Jake had been too absorbed in his mulling to understand what Dwight was saying and he turned to look at him, a little startled. 

Dwight pointed at a sign, “Follow that.” The way he raised his eyebrow made the teen feel more than a little dumb and he merely cleared his throat and nodded in reply, doing as he was told. 

The music that came through the speakers offered an upbeat summer hit in the background but Jake couldn’t really focus on it. The snowball had started rolling and now he could only think about this stupid crush on his best friend and how he could possibly do this to the two of them. 

He was a goddamn idiot. 

A good twenty minutes later, the teens were stood at the edge of the lake, towels around their necks and flip-flops on their feet. Dwight had an expression of pure determination on his face and Jake could only think about he would end up regretting this as his cheeks warmed at the sight of it. 

Before Jake could even think about finding a place to settle, Dwight tossed his towel at him and took off running towards the water. 

“Wai-” Was all the teen could get out of his mouth before his friend cannonballed into the body of water. He stood frozen for a moment, mostly baffled then just smiled when the other resurfaced, holding his glasses with one hand. 

“It’s perfect!”

Yeah, Jake thought to himself, this is perfect.


	9. Under Your Charms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwight isn't a fan of the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF ouch, took me a while but hey, here ya go. :)

Dwight could say without a doubt that even within his short existence, he had many regrets. Trying out for the soccer team, attempting to make friends at elementary school, petting that one nervous looking dog when he was six years old… Maybe inviting Jake over for his seventeenth birthday was going to be one of them; he wasn’t entirely sure yet. But as he took a good, long look at himself in the hallway mirror, eyeing the pale red t-shirt he was wearing critically, Dwight thought that it was probably a really lame idea. Jake had obviously gone to bigger birthday parties. Well- gone to _parties_. But since Dwight now had a bad history with those, he’d opted for just inviting his friend over for pizza and movies until his birthday was over.

 

Of course he didn’t wonder if the other teen would notice that the birthday boy had gone and bought himself a new t-shirt to wear specifically for today.

 

Of course he didn’t.

 

At least his parents weren’t home. Although, Dwight hadn’t doubted that they wouldn’t be. They usually were and at this point the teen wondered if they even remembered the date that he’d come into their lives to begin with.

 

Before the spectacled teen could really start mulling over his negligent parents again, the door bell rang and he jumped in pure surprise. He may or may not have even let out a startled yelp but he would deny that fair and square like any guy his age should.

 

He could see the familiar silhouette that belonged to no other than Jake Park through the glass in the door. Sometimes it was almost infuriating how free of slouching the other teen was. But then Dwight remembered the house his friend lived in and he could imagine _why_ Jake’s posture was as good as it was and then he’d stop thinking about it because he didn’t want to ask his friend any insensitive questions which he would if kept being so damn curious.

 

Thinking all this, Dwight walked forwards and opened the door, his hands only slightly sweaty as he looked at his friend when the opened door revealed him.

 

Jake just looked back at him, saying nothing for a solid moment before he opened his mouth and held up a colourfully wrapped box, “Happy birthday, Dwight.” He said.

 

The spectacled gaze fell on the gift and the teen drew a complete blank as he blinked dumbly at the present in his friend’s extended hand.

 

“You bought me something?” He asked when he realised he should say something, noticing the slight uncomfortable shift in Jake’s arm as he offered up the gift still.

 

“That’s what you’re supposed to do.” Jake answered, making a motion with the box towards the birthday boy that with unspoken words told Dwight that he really ought to take it now.

 

The teen fumbled for a moment before he finally reached out and took the wrapped box, careful not to touch the carefully tied ribbon, in case he messed it up. Then he looked up again, trying to not to swallow so obviously before he stepped back, “Come on in.” He said, the words feeling weird and foreign on his tongue. He’d never invited anyone into his own house before.

 

Jake offered a small smile then took up on the offer and stepped inside, his gaze immediately drifting everywhere as he inspected the hallway. Many might not think it, but Jake was as curious as they could come at times and Dwight had seen it coming. He had been cleaning the house from top to bottom the entire morning and most of the afternoon. The last thing he wanted was for his friend to think his family was made up entirely of dirty slouches.

 

“Uhm-” Dwight hesitated then cleared his throat and shut the door behind his friend, moving to take the lead and point Jake into the direction of the living room where he had already set up the sofa for a comfy evening of hanging out.

 

A bowl of popcorn was already sitting and waiting on the coffee table, along with a couple of soda bottles and a whole stack of movies. Dwight had even bothered to go out and rent some new ones, just in case Jake already knew every single one Dwight had at home.

 

Maybe he had been thinking about this too hard. Was he putting in too much effort? After all, Dwight had told Jake that it’d just be a casual thing; that he didn’t want to bother with celebrating his 17th all big and loud and whatnot.

 

As he worried about this, Jake said nothing and instead just headed for the couch, allowing himself to drop onto it before he inspected the stack, turning his head sideways to read the titles on the sides. Some of his hair fell into his face, Dwight noted, but it didn’t seem to bother the other teen as he read. Dwight had the distinct impression that not a lot bothered Jake Park.

 

“You should open it.” Jake said eventually and Dwight startled again, realising he’d just been stood in the doorway from where he had been watching his friend like a goddamn creep. A blush fought its way onto the paler teen’s cheeks and he quickly cast his gaze to box in his hands. It wasn’t very large and Dwight wondered what Jake would’ve even gotten him.

 

Only one way to find out.

 

“Yeah… Thanks for getting me a present,” Dwight started before he moved and sat down beside his friend, keeping his eyes on the box, “You didn’t have to, you know that, right?”

 

“I know,” Jake said, “But I wanted to.”

 

Dwight couldn’t help the dopey smile on his face at that, so he tried to distract from it by shaking his head and tugging on the ribbon lightly, “I can just open the lid, can’t I?”

 

He caught the motion of his friend’s nod in the corner of his vision and thus he took a deep breath and put his fingers on each side of the lid before he pulled it up carefully, almost holding his breath in anticipation.

 

What revealed itself was a simple, black watch. The lamp beside Dwight shone its bright light onto the jewellery and it glinted back up at the teen, who was almost drawn to call it mischievous in its glinting.

 

Dwight blinked slowly then looked up at Jake who just looked at him blankly in return.

 

“Are you serious?” Dwight asked. It was too big of a present. Too expensive. How could his friend just _do_ that? Buy him a _watch_?

 

“You don’t like it?” Jake asked in return and the slight furrow in his brow made Dwight almost panic.

 

“No, no!” He was quick to say, backpedalling as hard as he could, “I’m just surprised, that’s all! I didn’t think you’d- I mean, I didn’t think you’d get me anything to begin with, but a watch?” He was starting to rant, Dwight realised it, but he couldn’t make his mouth stop, “It’s such a big thing! You really didn’t have to! Even a small card would’ve been more than enough, Jake, I don’t know if I can accept this.”

 

“Shut it.” Jake murmured, holding up a finger to Dwight who’s teeth instantly clicked as he closed his mouth.

 

“Just try it on.” His friend continued on, reaching over to take the watch from its safe spot in the box, “If it doesn’t fit, I’ll get it fixed.”

 

“I can’t believe you.”

 

Jake shrugged, leaning back in the sofa after Dwight’s fingers took the watch from him. The older of the two turned it this way and that, smiling a little to himself. It was a rather simple watch, nothing too fancy. It was a digital clock and more than anything looked _useful_. The gesture was starting to look more and more thoughtful as Dwight looked at the little piece of jewellery.  

 

After another moment of just looking, he undid the clasp on the back and slid it over his hand before he closed it. It sat on his wrist snugly, glinting in the light as he turned his arm. Dwight smiled as he looked at it before he moved his right hand to set it at the right time, the small leather bracelets dancing along with the movement and the teen realised that every bit of jewellery he had had been given to him by his best friend. It was a nice thought, really. Made warmth settle in his stomach as he lifted his gaze to Jake, smiling at him and getting a small blush in return as response.

 

“Thanks, man.” Dwight said, “It fits perfectly. I love it.”

 

Jake cleared his throat, turning his head away before he replied, “Glad you like it.” He muttered. Then the other teen moved, reaching out to grab one of the glasses on the table, pouring himself a drink.

 

Dwight couldn’t keep the smile off of his face, feeling like he might look a little goofy as he just watched his friend but he just felt… happy? And lucky. That he had Jake as a friend.

 

And it was kind of funny how flustered Jake seemed at the moment. Dare he even say… Adorable?

 

His friend took a moment then hummed and pointed at the TV.

 

“Should we pick a movie?” He asked, “Or do you have some other grand ideas planned first?”

 

Dwight startled, his reverie broken. He realised he’d been staring and with a shocking start, like a generator kicking to life, he realised what that warm feeling that settled in his stomach truly was. He didn’t know that fluttery sensation. Not first-hand, at least. But as he’s sitting there with Jake next to him and he’s looking at his friend, his mind can only supply him with one answer. If he were to believe all those books and stories…

 

But something just felt like it had fallen into place just by considering that option.

 

Dwight Fairfield has fallen victim to a crush.

 

“N-no! Uh- We can… yeah.” He managed to stutter out, his cheeks feeling warm. The sensation of that heat travelled to his ears when Jake turned his (oddly wonderful?) grey eyes to him once more.

 

“You alright?” He asked, a bushy brow lifting.

 

The older teen reluctantly realised that he was noticing these small details about his friend all of a sudden. Dwight really hoped that this wasn’t going to end up biting him in the butt later down the road.

 

‘Graduation is only a couple months away, at least,’ He thought to himself, ‘if it goes belly up I’ll just have to sit it out until summer’. Somehow that didn’t reassure him at all. Never seeing Jake again gave him more reason to worry and sigh rather than feel relieved at the prospect.

 

“I’m fine.” He found his mouth moving and heard his own voice before he even realised he was talking.

 

Jake had a sceptical look on his face but he said nothing about Dwight’s blatant reluctance to answer him honestly. Instead, he poured a second glass and handed it to the blushing teen. Dwight wrapped his fingers around it gingerly as he took it, almost disappointed that their hands didn’t brush one another. How damn cliché he was.

 

‘Get it together, Fairfield!’ Dwight mentally hissed at himself. But he was silent as he watched Jake raise his glass and spoke up again, “To my best friend. Happy birthday, dude.”

 

Two things happened at the same time in Dwight’s heart and mind.

 

The first, initial thing, was the intense happiness that made the teen’s heart swell. He was somebody’s best friend. At 17 years old, he had finally done it. He officially had a best friend. Who had come to celebrate his birthday with him! It felt better than the teen had ever hoped to dream. Really. It did.

 

But the second thing? The second made all that fluffy warmth turn to ice an instant later. He was nothing more but Jake’s _friend_. And he probably never would be more than that. It made his throat involuntarily tighten and all Dwight could do was smile through it and raise his own glass to gently bump his friend’s with it.

 

It hurt. In a really bitter-sweet way.

 

Jake didn’t notice, or at least he didn’t say anything about it if he had. So Dwight followed his example and took a gulp of the soda before he set it back down on the table. He hoped that it was enough to battle the intense and almost overwhelming urge to cry at the revelation.

 

“Is there anything you wanna watch?” He asked his friend who was uncomfortably keeping his eyes on the spectacled teen. Dwight was mostly just looking to divert his own attention elsewhere, lest he start bawling his eyes out.

 

‘He knows!’

 

But that was impossible. Jake couldn’t read minds. At least… Dwight was pretty sure he couldn’t?

 

‘Then why is he looking at me like that?’

 

Dwight didn’t know. But he simply kept his own gaze averted so his own brown eyes couldn’t give anything away. Just in case.

 

“No.” Jake deadpanned.

 

It wasn’t unusual behaviour for the other teen. Dwight knew that. But somehow he couldn’t stop wondering if there was a reason his friend was being so short with him.

 

“Oh.” Don’t think about it. “Nothing at- uh… at all?”

 

Jake frowned at him but even through his own anxious haze, Dwight recognised the worry in that furrow. His friend was worried about him. The spectacled teen didn’t want him to be.

 

“I’m fine, Jake.” He repeated.

 

His friend observed him for a moment longer before he shook his head dismissively, “Stop worrying, man.” He then blindly pointed at the stack of movies and said, “Let’s watch whatever I’m pointing at right now.”

 

Dwight blinked and followed the direction of the point with his gaze before he smiled, “Halloween it is.”

 

He got up from where he sat, pulling the tape from between its companions before he knelt in front of the ageing VHS-player and popped it in. He felt Jake’s eyes on his back and he couldn’t keep his mind from supplying him with the memory of the start of their friendship. Feeling self-conscious about everything he did in front of the other; he was doing it all over again.

 

This sucked.

 

The teen took his seat on the sofa once more, careful to not encroach on his friend’s personal space as he did so. He hated how aware he was that Jake was _right there._

 

The movie started but despite the fact that Dwight had his eyes directed at the TV, he couldn’t keep his attention there. He needed to stop being weird, _fucksake_.

 

He quietly sat through the first ten minutes with his thoughts a jumble of self-deprecation, worry and Jake.

 

And then the Jake that wasn’t in his imagination spoke up, “I’ve never seen this one before.” He said, seeming uncharacteristically eager to break the silence.

 

“It’s a classic.” Dwight replied, a bit distractedly, shrugging his shoulders, “I’ve watched it a lot.”

 

“So you know exactly what’s going to happen?”

 

He smiled and nodded, “Yup.”

 

“I don’t like watching movies or reading books more than once,” Jake replied and Dwight didn’t need to turn his head and look at the other to know there was a frown on the teen’s face as he spoke, “I want to be surprised. Not know what’s going to happen next.”

 

Dwight just blinked. He felt like Jake said this kind of thing often. But he wondered why his friend enjoyed surprises so much that it bled into daily life like this.

 

“Jake…” He started, frowning just a tad. He didn’t want to be insensitive.

 

“Why do you hate expectations so much?” Was that the right wording? Probably not, but Dwight had said it now and there was no way to take his words back once they were spoken.

 

Jake seemed to freeze for a second as the question hung in the air and the curious teen’s worry spiked through the roof as he tried to think of things to say to backpedal. He quickly turned to face the other, stuttering out whatever he could.

 

“I mean-! Like… uh- y’know, not-“

 

His friend shook his head, “It’s alright.” He assured him quietly before he heaved a heavy sigh and continued, “My parents have planned out every little detail of my life for me. From the day they knew they were gonna be having another kid they’ve been busy planning out my future.”

 

It wasn’t difficult to see the resentment in Jake’s eyes despite the fact that they were averted and focused on the guy’s fingers in his lap.

 

The most surprising thing to Dwight, however, was that the other was actually opening up to him for once. About something personal. Something that made the teen who he was and it sent the 17-year old’s mind reeling to know that he was trusted like this-

 

“I don’t want to ruin your day by talking about me, though.” Jake added quickly, cutting of Dwight’s thoughts, “So let’s forget I said anything and keep watching.”

 

Dwight didn’t tell him that he didn’t mind. That he was eager to know more about his friend. That he wanted to hear what worried him so that Dwight could find ways to comfort him or take the problems away.

 

That he was eager to care for Jake in whatever way he needed him to.

 

The words had stumped him too much in their suddenness but more than that, he didn’t say any of it because Dwight Fairfield knew that he was a coward.

 

“You can talk about it tomorrow?” He suggested rather meekly instead, after the conversation had lulled for a solid minute. Before Jake could even reply, Dwight was already mentally kicking himself. Way to go to make it sound like he agreed with the other and didn’t want this day to be about anything but himself. Stupid stupid stupid!

 

“That’s alr-“

 

“Or today! I don’t care that it’s my birthday. Psh- You can uh. Talk about yourself anytime. To me. Yep…”

 

Great.

 

Jake blinked at him then smiled before turned back to the screen, “Maybe some other time.”

 

Well. It wasn’t exactly a ‘no’, but… It still felt bad. Like Dwight had said something wrong.

 

At the same time, however, his heart was pounding in his chest from something as minor as the other’s smile. Especially because it was directed at him and him only.

 

They watched the film without further conversation. Only the occasional comment about the movie’s happenings. The teen’s chest calmed down significantly as the story progressed and he could almost forget about the raging heartbeat by the time the film ended.

 

“He’s practically invulnerable.” Jake complained with a huff as the credits started rolling on the screen and the teen sunk further into the sofa, crossing his arms over his chest as if he were sulking over the film’s ending.

 

“Yeah,” Dwight agreed, “It gets worse with every sequel.”

 

“Wait- there’s more?” The words sounded surprised and laced with disbelief that was also evident on the other’s face as he spoke them. “ _Why?_ ”

 

“People like Michael, I guess.” He replied with a shrug, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

 

“Dunno why. His mask is dumb. And so is his stupid janitor’s outfit.”

 

“You’re awfully critical today.” Dwight comment and got a half-hearted punch to the arm as a reward for his observations.

 

“I’m always critical. I’m just _saying_ it out loud now.”

 

What he didn’t say, but what Dwight realised anyway, was that it meant that Jake was speaking his mind to his friend now. And he hadn’t done so before. Not much, anyway.

 

He smiled, “Okay. That’s good to know.”

 

The other nodded slowly then cleared his throat. 

 

Things felt weird, somehow. Like there was something going unspoken between them. Dwight briefly feared that Jake could smell the other’s attraction to himself but even he realised that was insane.

 

But then what was this atmosphere? It worried Dwight more so than he would like to admit.

 

Normally, their silences were comfortable. Reassuring at times, even, but now all Dwight felt was anxious pressure as he sat next to his friend.

 

It’d be funny how quickly their dynamic seemed to have changed if it didn’t worry Dwight.

 

“Are you hungry yet?” He asked, just looking to break the silence with his words.

 

Jake looked up from where he was looking at the stack of movies, probably trying to figure out what to watch next.

 

“Uh- I mean, it’s-”

 

“We don’t have to if you’re no-” The birthday boy started, worried that he was pushing his friend too much and hating himself for it, only to be cut off by a sudden roar of thunder outside. He startled at the sheer noise of it and he cast his slightly frightened gaze to the window, noting only now that there were raindrops steadily beating against the glass. It was dark outside what with the clouds and evening approaching. It looked like it’d been raining for a while.

 

Huh.

 

He hadn’t even noticed.

 

“Sounds like it’s finally starting to come loose.” Jake remarked lightly and Dwight wondered if his friend had been aware of the downpour the entire time.

 

When had it even started raining? The teen had been so lost in thought…

 

“I like storms,” Dwight muttered eventually, “As long as I’m safely inside and there’s no-”

 

Another crack of thunder rumbled outside, making the windows tremble in their casings, and the darkness outside was briefly dispelled by the following flash of lightning.

 

A moment later, a hum of electricity pulled through the house and just like that, all the power was gone and the two teens were plunged into the pitch black that was left in the room after all the lamps and the TV went dark.

 

Fantastic.

 

Jake snorted in amusement somewhere beside him.

 

“You actually yelped.” He said, the grin obvious in his voice, and Dwight felt his cheeks warm with indignity. At least the other couldn’t see it.

 

“No, I didn’t!” He countered in an attempt to defend himself, although he honestly had no idea if he actually had or not. It _did sort of_ sound like something he’d do.

 

Still, though.

 

Jake only laughed and Dwight could hear shifting of clothes and a creak of the sofa. He jumped and let out a scared squawk when he felt a hand on his shoulder which only made the other teenager laugh a little louder. Dwight felt increasingly stupid.

 

“You’re not a fan of the dark, are you?”

 

Dwight frowned a little at that question, genuinely confused, “Why would I be?” He asked, “Can’t see a damned thing.”

 

He didn’t want to ruin Jake’s good mood by telling him he got locked into an unlit maintenance closet in elementary school once; recess had always felt long but it had never felt as long as it had then. He could still remember the dry, suffocating air that floated in that way too cramped space in what felt like an eternity. Just thinking about it now made his skin crawl.

 

“I know you hate the expected, but I have to say I’m not great with the _un_ expected, Jake.” Dwight said, shaking his head a little before he carefully got to his feet. They should get some lights going so that they could at least _see_ something. The teen stuck out his arms and very slowly felt his way around the room until he got to the hallway, his ears picking up the shuffling of Jake’s feet on the floor behind him.

 

Good. At least he wasn’t alone in his adventuring.

 

“I think we have a flashlight somewhere.” Dwight said, really unsure of where said flashlight should be, “I’ll check the kitchen.”

 

Jake hummed in acknowledgement as he followed behind him but he quickly took to checking the drawers and cabinets along with the slightly older teen once they reached the aforementioned kitchen, the both of them taking advantage of the lightning whenever it cracked across the sky and lit up the room briefly enough for them to get a peek in.

 

Dwight sighed as he ran his hands through the last cabinet, shaking his head, “Had any luck?” He asked.

 

“Nope. Not even some candles.” Came the answering words through the darkness. Dwight was starting to get on edge. Especially with Jake being so far away from him…

 

Right, reel that thought in. No time for that now. They have a mission.

 

“Just breathe, Dwight.” Jake said and it seemed to be closer now. The spectacled teen did as he was told, drawing in a breath before slowly and carefully releasing it, glad to only jump a little when he saw the shape of his friend move into arms’ reach. “Where else could we look? Basement?”

 

“I don’t wanna go to the basement.” Dwight muttered meekly, honestly hoping that Jake hadn’t heard him but knowing full well that he probably had. It happened like that every time, after all.

 

“It’s alright, man.” The other said, his voice lowering a little to reach that reassuring tone that Dwight responded well to and goddamnit, it wasn’t fair that Jake knew how to calm him down so well, “I’ll take point, okay?”

 

Dwight groaned. He really didn’t want to go down there. It was always cold and so creepy.

 

“I’ll even let you hold my hand.” Jake said with a joking lilt to his words when Dwight didn’t verbally respond and the comment honestly didn’t help. The teen clammed up, his fingers tugging on his leather bracelets as his mind raced. Was Jake making fun of him? Did he actually know? He had to be kidding right? Unless, well, maybe, his friend wanted to? In which case, why should he deny him? He’d be a bad friend if he did, surely… Oh man. The butterflies in his stomach fluttered uncomfortably and his cheeks felt searing his hot. And he still hadn’t said anything…

 

“Hey, I’m joking. Don’t worry.”

 

Oh. Well.

 

It wasn’t like Dwight was disappointed.

 

And it most definitely wasn’t like he desperately wanted to hear the mild disappointment or -maybe even and- discouragement in Jake’s voice. It was just wishful thinking on his part, the teen was sure of that much.

 

Outside, the rain continued to fall and the normally relaxing sound of thunder made certain of it that no one could forget it was there still.

 

Finally, Dwight managed to speak up, “I’m right behind you.”

 

“Okay.” His friend replied, staying silent for a moment before he wandered back into the hallway, “Where is the basement?”

 

Dwight blinked, hesitating before he followed, “The opposite side of the staircase, through the door there.”

 

Jake hummed in reply then reached behind himself and took a hold of the other teen’s wrist, keeping it in a firm grasp as he walked, “I really can’t believe you’re older than me right now.”

 

Dwight tried to ignore how warm the other’s hand was, how pleasant it felt on his skin and how it sent tingles all throughout his arm. He really tried.

 

He swallowed, “Just a couple of months.”

 

His friend chuckled quietly and by the typical sound of a door handle being pushed down, Dwight could tell he’d managed to find the door. It creaked a little as it opened but that didn’t seem to deter Jake whatsoever.

 

“Still.” He answered before he moved forward, gently pulling the spectacled teen along who had no choice but to reluctantly match his pace.

 

Together, they made their way down the cold steps of the stairs leading down into the basement, Jake still holding onto Dwight’s wrist and Dwight staying quiet about said fact although he would love to just move his hand into the other’s grasp instead. He stayed quiet about that as well.

 

“It’s probably on a shelf around here.” He said instead when they reached the bottom. The other squeezed his wrist in response before he let go and the teen hated how lonely it suddenly felt, losing the contact.

 

Jake hummed again to let Dwight know he’d understood him before he wandered into the dark space, leaving the - slightly - older of the two to think about the whole ordeal by himself.

 

Truly, he hated coming down in the basement. Even when there _was_ power. He knew it was silly. He was old enough to know things such as monsters didn’t exist, yet the atmosphere still made him jittery and jumpy. He was fairly sure he hadn’t been down here in years. Well, at least his friend was here with him. Jake gave him a sense of courage that allowed Dwight to do a lot more than he thought he was capable of and honestly, he’d hate to disappoint his friend. So, with a deep breath, he took a step forward, his arms stuck out in front of him to make sure he wouldn’t bump into anything. The small peeking window on the opposite wall didn’t cast a lot of light here, even with the occasional flash of lightning.

 

He was just sliding a hand over a dusty shelf when Jake let out a triumphant sound, probably coming from the back of his throat somewhere.

 

“Found it?”

 

“I think so.” He replied and then all of a sudden, a beam of light struck Dwight right in the face and he recoiled, his eyes scrunching shut quickly as a hand came up to block the offending brightness.

 

“Hey!”

 

“Sorry. Didn’t think there’d actually be life left in it, to be honest.”

 

“Jesus, Jake.” Dwight groaned, dropping the hand and opening his eyes carefully, glad to find the beam aimed at his feet now instead. He sighed a little when his friend approached him again, able to faintly see the smile tugging at the other’s mouth.

 

“C’mon,” He said, “Let’s go back up.”

 

Dwight just turned around and headed back up the stairs, relieved to hear Jake walking closely behind him. He was gentlemanly enough to angle the flashlight in such a way that the spectacled teen could see where the next step was located so he wouldn’t trip, although his mind could come up with a number of things that could happen if he did do that. All of them involving Jake fussing over him in some way.

 

Focus, Fairfield.

 

“I almost can’t believe we made it.” Dwight said, smiling a little in a subtle attempt to forget his own thoughts as Jake closed the door when they reached the top, “I was pretty sure there was gonna be an axe-murderer down there, waiting for the perfect stormy opportunity to present itself so he could kill us. Or she- I’m not saying women can’t be axe-murderers.”

 

“I’m sure all the feminist organisations out there would appreciate hearing you say that, man.”

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

Jake grinned and Dwight felt his knees go weak. Had he always been so stunning in the half dark? Dwight couldn’t really remember.

 

“I wonder if they’ll even deliver in this weather.” The other teen said as he headed back to the living room, startling Dwight out of his appreciative musing and causing him to follow him with a hurried step.

 

“Oh.” He hadn’t thought of that yet. Did they? “I mean- It’s not like there’s a natural disaster going on. It’s just a little storm.”

 

As if intent on disproving Dwight’s words, the wind outside chose that exact moment to howl past the house, creating a mildly menacing threat of bone-chilling cold. Thankfully the walls kept the warmth inside protected from the wild cold outside.

 

He decided to ignore it pointedly. “I’m sure a little wind won’t stop ‘PizzaWhat!’.”

 

An amused snort came from the other as he reached the sofa, setting the flashlight down on the table on its butt so it shone the light’s beam up towards the ceiling before he sank down in the soft cushions once more, “Guess we’ll just have to see.”

 

“I’ll try them, then.” Dwight muttered, turning to move to grab the landline phone but he paused with the realisation that the damn thing was out along with the power. Jake must’ve realised it too because a second later the teen spotted another light coming from the sofa, illuminating Jake’s features unsettlingly.

 

“What’s their number?” He asked and Dwight hated that he knew the digits by heart. He sighed before he rattled them off easily, albeit somewhat begrudgingly.

 

Jake didn’t say anything about it, thankfully. Dwight wasn’t sure what he would’ve said if the other had asked or laughed. Why did he feel so embarrassed?

 

Wondering about this, he was too preoccupied to hear Jake speaking on the phone until he registered the fact that the other was saying his name.

 

“Huh?”

 

“I asked what you wanted on your pizza.”

 

Oh.

 

Uhm.

 

“… Pepperoni?”

 

Jake hummed then repeated the word into his phone, sounding a lot more confident in it than Dwight had. After that, he hung up, if the sudden return of darkness was any indication.

 

“They said they’ll deliver even in the apocalypse- come sit down, you’re setting me on edge.”

 

Dwight blinked, briefly stunned before he did as he was told, “That’s good work-ethic.” He comment lightly.

 

His friend nodded, “I’m glad I can rely on ‘PizzaWhat!’ to not let me starve during the end of the world.”

 

The 17-year old smiled, “Yeah, thank God for that.”

 

The two of them chuckled and then launched into soft conversation about the annoying power outage in the dark, sighing when the flashlight on the table flickered and subsequently went out.

 

Thankfully, the doorbell rang not too long after and a mere few minutes later the two were sat at the kitchen table, munching away.

 

“So, what’re you going to do after graduation?”

 

The question possibly briefly startled Jake, because Dwight heard a pause in the previously steady chewing and it made him take a moment as well, the hand that had been halfway to his mouth moving back down. He’d said something wrong again.

 

The teenager swallowed and it was audible enough for the spectacled one to wonder if he would ever stop being a complete dumbass in front of his best friend.

 

“College.” Jake said, and Dwight was almost glad for the impossibility of seeing the other’s features. He was sure that the frown he’d find there would worry him more than the thought of it already did. Which was more than enough to handle at the moment, thanks.

 

“What about you?” The other asked in return and now it was Dwight’s turn to sigh a bit.

 

“I’m not… really… college material.” He answered, for the first time verbally honest about the topic. Although to be fair, no one had ever asked him before. “I think I’ll just… get a job and see where it takes me. At least for the first year after high school.”

 

Jake hummed in the darkness across from him and Dwight _would_ consider the possibility that his friend was judging him for his plans if he didn’t know by now what Jake was like. And he was thankful that he did.

 

“Sick of all the people yet?” His friend asked and it wasn’t hard to imagine the somewhat teasing smirk that probably accompanied the question even if it was a little more quiet than it ought to have been. It was still pitch-black in the kitchen and despite the fact that their eyes had mostly accustomed to the whole ‘no lights’-situation, Dwight was still having a hard time seeing much of anything that was out of arms’ reach.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That’s new. But understandable.”

 

“Hanging out with you is rubbing off of on me, Jake.” Dwight said with a melodramatic sigh and he only yelped in surprise when he felt the nudge of the other’s foot on his leg.

 

“Not enough if you didn’t expect that.”

 

“Real funny.” Dwight muttered, hating how his cheeks heated up from embarrassment but glad that at least it wasn’t visible to the other teen at the moment. He stayed silent for a moment longer, glancing at the sole window in the kitchen when another boom of thunder rumbled and a flash of lightning lit up the sky outside. It didn’t look like it was going to end soon.

 

“Do you want to stay over?” He asked before he really thought about it, which only came .2 seconds later. It was a reasonable question. And not something out of the realm of friendship. They’d slept in the same bed before, even! It wasn’t like.. like it was weird. God, Dwight instantly knew that he was overthinking it. But he couldn’t help it. Couldn’t help himself. He really wished with all of his heart that he wasn’t like this…

 

“I mean-” Here came the word-vomit, “It’s really bad weather out and so dark and I don’t want you to get into an accident or something. It’s really pouring down, it’s hard to see anything! It’s- uhm… You know, it’s okay if you don’t want to, I’m just saying, it might be a good idea because- well, because what if a tree gets hit by the lightning and it falls onto the road. Or onto your car! What then? That’d be awful- but uhm… Again, if you… If you think you can just drive back then that’s f-”

 

“Dwight.”

 

His jaw snapped shut in his sheer hurry to close his mouth the second Jake said his name.

 

“… Yeah?” He said timidly.

 

“Calm down.” Jake started before he cleared his throat, “I’d like to stay over. Thanks for offering.”

 

Dwight was pretty sure his ears were picking up a relieved sigh but he wasn’t aware he was making that sound. His friend most certainly wasn’t though, so… That only really left him, didn’t it?

 

“Okay.” He replied eventually, suddenly aware of the prolonged silence, “Okay, well- uh. Okay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“…. Yeah.”

 

Did he even have space for Jake, though? That was the real question. He couldn’t just let him sleep on the couch… But he only had a single, small bed. Unlike his friend’s extremely comfortable double. Well, there was a…

 

“Do you want the guestroom? It has a double bed… I’m sorry, I only have the boring single myself. I don’t think it’s big enough for us to share.” Dwight said with an apologetic lilt to his voice, casting his gaze down automatically.

 

“I… sure? It’s not really a slumber party if we’re separated though.”

 

“S-slumber party?”

 

Jake chuckled and Dwight smiled at the sound of it.

 

“Can’t we just both go to the guestroom? Ought to be more fun.” The other teen suggested and the spectacled 17-year old had to admit that it was a clever solution to a very small problem.

 

“… We can do that.”

 

They were going to have to share a bed then. Dwight wasn’t sure if his heart could take that. The idea of it alone made his chest feel like it was about to explode with both giddiness and pure anxiety.

 

“Or maybe we should just drag a mattress into my room?” He muttered a moment later, beaten by his own fear of everything that could go wrong with sleeping next to his crush.

 

His best friend paused and the silence was filled by the background noise of the rain and the wind outside.

 

The silence lasted a moment and it was enough for Dwight to start fidgeting uncomfortably, “Sure.” Jake said eventually.

 

And that was how they ended up with Jake on a mattress on the floor next to Dwight’s bed. It’d been a few hours ago since they’d dragged the thing into his room and made it so that the younger of the two could sleep comfortably. And by the sounds of it, he was doing just that.

 

Dwight wished he was asleep.

 

He listened quietly as the rain pittered down on the roof of his house. He’s lying on his back, staring straight up at the ceiling as restlessness chews away at him, despite the soothing monotony  of the crying sky outside. The fact that he can hear Jake shift every once and even sigh occasionally is enough to keep the teen wide awake. He’s worried about his feelings and what they could possibly _ruin_ if Jake ever found out about them. If Dwight would ever let it show.

 

What if he stopped wanting to be friends with him because of it? What if they never talked again because Dwight had to go and fall into stupid love with stupid, amazing Jake?

 

…

 

He can never tell the other about this.


	10. Be Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake regrets not paying attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you mean it took me months to write this? ....... I'm sorry ;;;; I HAVE TO ADMIT THOUGH, WE'RE FINALLY STARTING TO GET TOWARDS THE ENDING, ONLY A FEW MORE CHAPTERS LEFT... ARE Y'ALL READY??? I know I am. :)

Dwight’s birthday had been… eventful, if you could call it that. Jake hadn’t been sure what he had expected but seeing Dwight act like an awkward nervous-wreck hadn’t been it. Honestly, he thought they’d made significant progress since their first hours of hanging out but it had almost been like the other had completely reverted at times that night.

Not to say that Jake thought it was bad. Just… odd, that’s all. It’d been stupidly endearing even. Every once in a while he thought he was going to have a heart attack from his friend’s bashfulness. The power-outage had almost been in a blessing in disguise; at least Dwight’s blush couldn’t be weaponized against him if it was too dark to see it.

And although Jake was happy to stay over – anything to spend more time with the other – he couldn’t help but be disappointed when Dwight suggested they sleep on different beds. It was a lot more trouble than sharing the guestroom would’ve been so it almost felt like his friend was entirely opposed to sharing a bed altogether. And that hurt. Quite a bit, actually. Jake didn’t particularly want to admit that though. He briefly wondered if Dwight had figured out the fact that Jake had an embarrassing crush on him and was awkward and distant because of it.

He really hoped that wasn’t the case. Jake wasn’t sure how he would handle that sort of heartbreak. It was a whole different level of rejection, if you thought about it.

The thought of it alone was enough to strengthen his resolve to not let Dwight know about even an inkling of his feelings. He would be losing his only real friend if he did and that was the last thing Jake needed right now…

Either way, when they woke up the next morning and found the power back on, Jake had hung around for another couple of hours before he headed back home reluctantly.

The remainder of the month had gone by fast and finals were approaching rapidly.

Jake felt a sinking dread every time he thought about all the subsequent expectations that loomed over him. A regular old report-card was easy to hide and overall not such a big deal. Manageable. _Fixable_.

His final grades? An entirely different story. His father had started honing in on his academic results lately and it’d gotten to the point where his car had been taken from him and he was now dropped off at and picked up from school daily by his mom’s personal driver with not a single opportunity to do anything but school-related bullshit.

It was really starting to drive him fucking mad. Frustration lurked around every corner and he was growing even shorter with people than he usually was. The ‘Cool Kids’ posse even left him be after he punched McNab for laughing too hard in his presence. Although he was glad he didn’t have to worry about them anymore, and it felt so satisfying to just go to town on Kevin’s face with his fists. Jake was fairly sure he heard the word ‘freak’ being whispered around him a lot more after he got back from the short suspension he’d received for the act.

It was also quite clear that Dwight was worried about him. He frowned a lot and of course because of the whole shit-show situation they couldn’t hang out outside of school anymore. Jake couldn’t even go anywhere on the _weekends_.

More than anything else, that’s what he felt the worst about. Everyone around Jake could just go fuck themselves and he wouldn’t care, but not being able to just be alone with his friend? To go do fun things with him? To maybe just sit in comfortable silence in a car or tell him about everything that’s wrong in the world? Jake hated it so much, it made him nauseous to think about. All he wanted to do was tell Dwight that he was torn between doing what he was supposed to do – what his family wanted him to do and what they expected of him – and just plain doing what he _wanted_ to do. Just being a teenager, figuring out what the hell he even wanted with his life, what he liked and what he didn’t. Honestly, it wasn’t that much to ask, was it?

“Jake?” Dwight’s voice drifted across the small distance that separated them as they sat beside each other on the P.E. field, watching as the other kids in their class played baseball. Neither one of them had seemed keen on playing themselves. For Jake, it was mostly because he didn’t want to end up giving in to the ever growing urge to get violent with the other kids and possibly take a bat to someone’s face. As for Dwight? He probably just didn’t want to be picked last and sat out the entire game to avoid it. Thankfully, it being the last P.E. of the year, the teacher was willing to give the both of them a free pass on it. Well, you wouldn’t hear Jake complain. It suited him just fine.

“Yeah?” He said eventually, looking up from where his hands were absently pulling at the grass underneath him.

“You okay? You’re staring all blankly-like.”

Jake turned his head to look at Dwight, watched him look back at him and then just pulled his shoulders up in a noncommittal shrug. He wanted to tell him how much he really missed Dwight but how could he? Especially in a place like this. Besides… They were sitting right next to each other, how could you miss someone you were with right in that moment? Didn’t make sense. Not to Jake, anyhow.

Dwight’s brow furrowed in that worried manner of his again and Jake felt his stomach sink. He hated being the reason for his friend’s frowning.

“Don’t worry about me, man.” He said, trying to make it sound light-hearted but it came out weak even to his own ears. “I just- got some things, y’know?”

Dwight looked hesitant for a moment and then sighed, shaking his head. Jake could only allow his shoulders to sag some more as he turned his gaze down at the ground, feeling a pang of shame shoot through him. He wasn’t even entirely sure why that emotion was there but he supposed that he wasn’t that in touch with his emotions as it was, so why bother trying to figure it out.

“Is it because of your family?”

Jake sat up at that, his features quick to pull into a frown. He didn’t want them to talk about it here. Not while they were so out in the open like this. The teen turned his disapproving gaze towards his friend then muttered, “Probably.” His fist came up then and he held it there so Dwight had enough time to see it before he uncurled his fingers and blew the torn blades of grass at him.

“Hey!” His friend exclaimed, pulling back quickly in a fruitless attempt to dodge the greenery that twirled and danced in the wind towards him. Jake couldn’t help the small smile that tugged on his lips as he watched a couple of blades get stuck behind the other’s glasses but he had to admit that he also quite liked the trajectory one had taken; it had led to landing in Dwight’s fluffy-looking hair. Jake could almost imagine himself ruffling his friend’s locks with the excuse of removing the offending piece of grass rather than just doing it because he wanted to run his hand through his hair.

They were both better off if such a thing didn’t happen, honestly.

Instead, Jake gestured at it briefly before he turned back to watch the game that was being played in front of them. He tuned out the quiet grumbling that Dwight had to get out of his system, choosing to focus on listening to the outdoors’ ambiance. Cars drove along the road next to the school, creating a steady backdrop for the occasional bird song and the teenage yelling, laughter and cheering. The teen was sure his eyes were glazed over at this point but he couldn’t care enough to bring them back into focus.

He probably should have, because before long, he heard a sudden shout of ‘watch out’, noticed Dwight scrambling frantically and then promptly got hit square in the head with a rogue ball.

Whatever happened after that, Jake couldn’t remember. Though when he came to in the nurse’s office, staring up at the blank ceiling, he briefly entertained the idea that he had heard Dwight call his name with unadulterated worry etched into his voice.

He really hoped he hadn’t been imagining that.

And as he was guided down the empty hallways now, forced to hold onto his driver’s arm in order not to keen over, Jake wondered if this was a good excuse to not get an A+ on his calculus final. Maybe he’d get to see Dwight some more… Though something told him that he wasn’t going to be allowed much of anything even with a damn concussion.

Once he was at home, his fears turned out to be grounded. Just like he was, it seemed like. He was put to bed, his phone taken from him and all he had to entertain himself with were non-fiction books and the occasional conversation with his mother. Bless her, she really did worry about him. That didn’t mean that Jake was any less angry with her for going along with this whole charade though. He just wanted to tell Dwight that he was okay; he hadn’t been able to tell him anything. For all he knew, his friend thought he was fucking dead. It’d been three days already and it was driving him nuts.

Dread filled his stomach as he laid on his back, staring up at his ceiling at what he assumed to be the middle of the night; he’d been woken up five minutes ago to check if he was still alive and it’d been the second time that night for that to be done to him. It was starting to piss him off more than he wanted it to. The lack of sleep made him irritable but it also gave him even more time to think about Dwight which in turn only worked to make Jake feel even more miserable about the whole situation.

He didn’t like that there was nothing he could do. If he hadn’t been injured, he would’ve climbed out of his damn window by now and snuck off into the night to just- be irresponsible and sit on his friend’s bed and _talk_.

…

Hm.

He sat up, gaze fixed on the slightly ajar window.

It was dark out.

No one would be able to see him leave.

They couldn’t take his shoes from him.

The plan was forming a lot quicker than it had any right to, but within the minute, Jake threw his covers off of himself, sliding out of his bed with an uncertain grin on his face. He felt a little wobbly on his feet but he’d be damned if it was going to stop him from seeing Dwight. He took a moment to compose himself, feeling like he could topple over any second but refusing to give in to it.

Where were his shoes?

Jake didn’t want to turn on a light; afraid that it might alert someone in the house. Instead he carefully lowered himself to the ground, crawling on hands and knees until his hand bumped into one of his sneakers. Perfect. It wasn’t hard to find the second one of the pair, and right next to them were a pair of jeans. Looked like not tidying his room was paying off.

He manoeuvred to sit on his ass, pulling the garment over his legs before he slipped his feet into the shoes, tying the laces blindly.

With a deep breath, and after a moment of brief consideration, Jake got to his feet again, feeling his way over to his desk where he knew his jacket was thrown over his chair. Once he’d acquired that, he slipped his arms into it and zipped it up, feeling a shiver run down his spine in anticipation of the cold night air.

Slowly, Jake stepped towards the windowsill, his hands only a little shaky as he pushed the window open properly. A breeze blew into his room gently and it ruffled his hair slightly; it wasn’t as cold as his mind had made it seem to be. Still, the teen pulled his shoulders up towards his ears just a tad. A little… fresh.

He cast a look down, wondering just how he was going to get down safely. Sure; he’d thought about busting out of his own house before, but he’d never actually done it. The way down was still… unknown to him.

He supposed he was a little lucky though. His room was right above the conservatory, meaning that he could probably drop down to the roof of that and then head further down… Ah, what the hell, he’d figure it out when he’d get there.

Throwing caution to the wind, Jake put his hands on the sill, lifting himself up and carefully putting his legs through until he was sat with most of himself outside of his room. His feet tried to find purchase on the roof tiles and they were honestly having a hard time of it, but come on, he already had a head-injury. How much worse could it possibly get? There was no such thing as a double concussion.

As far as he knew, anyway.

With that thought in the front of his mind, Jake let go of the window and slid down the roof until he hit the glass top of the conservatory with a quiet ‘oof’. Immediately alarmed, he looked around and down, searching for any sign that indicated that somebody had heard or spotted him but when no such thing made itself apparent to him, Jake relaxed and slowly and still a bit unsteadily made his way to the edge of the roof. There he sat down once again, allowing his feet to dangle from said edge as he tried to gauge the height that he would fall if he just jumped down.

Figuring it was probably a bit too high, he judged that he’d probably make it off with a sprained ankle at worst if he hung from the side and then let go instead of tossing himself off the roof.

So he turned and slowly slid down again, making sure to get a proper grip on the edge before he hung his full weight on his arms like that. He swayed for a short moment, worried about what it’d look like from the inside of the glass conservatory before he let go and gracelessly stumbled a bit as his feet hit the ground. He caught himself however and though a nasty sting travelled up from his ankles to his legs, Jake was fairly sure he hadn’t broken anything. So he fell into a low crouch and finally made his way off of the estate’s grounds, easily pulling himself up and over the fence that separated the yard from the public space.

Once on the other side, he took off running towards town, every step jarring his head and agitating the bump there but he didn’t want to stop until he was sure he was far enough to not be in immediate danger of getting caught. His breath came heavy as he eventually slowed his sprint to a jog, seeing the downtown lights in the distance. After a moment of heavy swallowing – his stomach was absolutely roiling – the teen shoved his hands into his jacket’s pockets and continued on his path, feeling sweat beading on his forehead. It was only then that it occurred to him that in two hours, someone was going to go wake him up again only to find him absent from his room.

He could still turn around and go back. Dodge any possible repercussions and pretend this whole thing hadn’t even happened. But the thought of seeing a sleepy Dwight made his heart flutter and in that moment there was nothing that could have stopped Jake from going to go see his friend.

His legs carried him all the way to Dwight’s house and the teen did a mostly okay job of not going through the dodgiest parts of town to get to where he needed to be. He was also sure he could never look down a dark alleyway next to a club ever again. Seeing a couple having drunken sex next to a fucking dumpster was not on Jake’s bucket-list but he could cross it out anyway.

When he arrived at his destination, the bottom of his feet ached just enough to be aware of them but it was nothing compared to the serious nausea that had been steadily growing or the headache that was pounding from inside Jake’s skull.

He was so close now, though.

After a moment of silent deliberating, Jake took a shaky breath and pulled his hands from his pockets as he headed for the drainpipe, having spotted that it was positioned just perfectly next to Dwight’s windows.

“Dwight!” He hissed under his breath, staring up before he decided that there was no way the other was going to hear him from down there, even if he wasn’t asleep. Which he probably was; the lights were all out.

What time was it anyway?

… Whatever, it didn’t matter.

He put his hands around the pipe, doubtful on whether it would be able to support his weight but deciding that ultimately he didn’t really care, and promptly started pulling himself up, using his feet for leverage as he made his way up. God, his stomach was protesting against all this sudden physical activity but there was no quitting when you were this close, Jake knew that much at least.

Once he reached the roof, Jake pulled himself up onto the tiles, needing to take a careful breath through his nose to settle his rebellious insides before he reached up and knocked on his friend’s window carefully but insistently. He sure as hell hoped he remembered the location of Dwight’s room properly. He’d hate to have to explain himself to the other’s parents.

After a moment of nothing, Jake grumbled to himself under his breath as he knocked again. This time, he saw something move in the dark and after a minute, Dwight’s confused and sleepy face appeared in front of him on the other side of the glass.

The other teen stared at him, seeming to try to make sense of what he was seeing before he opened the window to let Jake in.

“Am I dreaming?” Dwight asked as soon as Jake was safely inside and if Jake didn’t feel so fucking sick, he was sure his heart would be melting.

“No-” The teen started before he had to pause, forcing the collecting saliva in his mouth down his throat. He would not vomit. Not here. Not _now_.

“Oh.” Dwight said simply, blissfully unaware of the other teen’s struggle not to throw up and staring past him for a moment before he blinked and grabbed onto Jake’s shoulders, “You’re okay! Oh my God, I thought you were dead for sure. You didn’t text or come to school or-”

“Dwight,” Jake groaned, finding the grip a lot tighter than he could really handle at the moment, “Careful, man.”

Maybe he _was_ going to barf.

“Sorry, I- are you okay? How’d you get here? I thought your parents confiscated your keys?”

Jake nodded, rather strained before he muttered though he felt slight relief when Dwight's hands fell from his shoulders, “Yeah, they did.”

“Then…?”

“I walked.”

Dwight balked at him before he managed to form words, “W- y- you walked?”

“Yeah.”

The spectacled teen stared for another moment then turned around and moved to sit on the edge of his bed, looking like he was trying to piece together the meaning of life. Jake, desperate for a rest, followed after him and sat down next to him, wondering if he could get away with lying down for a minute or so without endangering the sheets. He’d hate to stain anything with his stomach’s contents.

“You left in the middle of the night to come see me… and you walked.”

“Mhm. Had to climb out my window.”

Dwight turned to look at him and Jake couldn’t manage more than a tired and somewhat suffering smile.

“You climbed out of your window? Even though you got hit in the head the other day?”

Jake briefly pursed his lips then shrugged and inclined his head forward just a bit; he was too afraid to nod properly. He was dizzy enough as it was.

“It’s a pretty far walk from your place to here… That’s commitment.”

The teen made a sound of affirmation, hating how he felt progressively worse. This really wasn’t how he had envisioned this whole thing to go down, “Yeah. Okay, Dwight, listen buddy-”

The other looked at him expectantly, if not still a little bit drowsily. Yeah, it was pretty cute, but holy shit.

“- I’m going to throw up.” He said before he shot to his feet and darted out of the room, remembering the location of the bathroom only just. He ducked into the dark room, his hands out and before he knew it, he was sat kneeling in front of the toilet, violently emptying his stomach into the ceramic bowl.

Okay, so, maybe he wasn’t entirely okay yet.

Coughing and spitting some spittle into the toilet, Jake could hear the door behind him creak open and the soft padding of Dwight’s feet coming closer as he entered the bathroom. Neither one of them said anything as the spectacled teen knelt down beside Jake and just gently rubbed his back, apparently settling in to wait out his friend’s nausea and effectively making Jake’s already teary eyes fill with more water. It was just-… so _sweet_.

“S-sorry, man.” Jake breathed out, spitting out the last bit of saliva after a good while before he sat back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “I didn’t mean to-”

Dwight didn’t let him finish, interrupting him as he looked at him with worry, “Are you okay?”

Man, the other shouldn’t have to worry about Jake. He really shouldn’t have and the teen was starting to dislike himself for letting his friend do so, “Yeah, man… Yeah, I’m fine.” He tried to assure Dwight, turning his head to look at him properly.

The small, almost hesitant smile on the other teen’s face only worked to make Jake’s heart sink a little. He wasn’t okay, really. His feelings hurt and his head did too and he just knew that this whole thing couldn’t end well.

“Are you going to college?” Jake blurted out before he could help himself, averting his gaze when he recognised Dwight’s expression as startled.

“… Why?”

“I just-” The teen started, his eyes searching the floor as if a convenient excuse would present itself there, “-… uh, been thinking about it.”

Dwight stayed silent for another moment before Jake caught movement in the corner of his eye, looking up in time to see the other shake his head a little, “No, I don’t think so. I- I’m no good at school. Besides, we don’t have the money, so…”

Jake stared at the other for a moment, knowing full well that this is the answer he had expected. It wasn’t what he wanted, of course, but… Well. There wasn’t anything he could do about it and he knew it wasn’t his place to do so, anyway. Jake knew though, already, that he was going to get shipped off to college by his father and he doubted Dwight was going to leave this town anytime soon. Would they stay in touch? The teen sure as hell hoped so but something told him that there was barely any hope for them and that he would do well to accept that now.

“Yeah, no, I know.” He said before he carefully got to his feet, his hands trembling with both the shakiness that came with throwing up and the realisation that he was going to have to let Dwight go.

… Fuck sake. Jake looked at his reflection in the mirror as he want to wash his hands, seeing how pale and messy he looked. There were heavy bags underneath his eyes and his skin looked clammy with sweat, not to mention the tear streaks that now ran down his cheeks. “I’m a mess.” He said, glancing at Dwight through the reflective surface when the other got up as well before he turned his gaze back to himself. Big fucking yikes.

Shaking still, he leaned down and rinsed his mouth with the running water.

“It’s alright.”

Jake chose not to reply to that, focusing on just trying to clean his mouth and cautiously trying to swallow a little bit of water in a futile attempt to make the burning sensation in his throat to go away.

When he was satisfied and at least no longer felt like he was going to dry heave himself into oblivion anymore, Jake straightened up and turned to look at his friend, “I just wanted to tell you I’m still alive. Didn’t want you think I was in like a coma or anything, y’know?”

Dwight actually smiled at that and Jake’s ever tormenting butterflies fluttered at the sight of it, “Thanks, Jake. You didn’t have to come all this way though. You’re- uh… still not… fine? By the looks of it…” The other cast his gaze down at their feet and Jake wasn’t sure if it was his head injury making him see things but he thought he could see an embarrassed blush creeping onto the other teen’s cheeks.

“I mean-! Not like- to be rude, or… But you did just throw up. As soon as you got here. So… You know?”

Ah. Good ol’ rambling Dwight. Classic.

“Yeah.”

Jake was a width of a hair away from being delighted; if Dwight filled the silence, it meant Jake didn’t have to. But he still felt pretty awful and he was fairly sure he didn’t have the energy to feel much of anything other than misery.

Dwight nodded a couple times then cleared his throat, “I’d… drive you back but my parents took the car out so I… can’t really…” The teen trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck as the words turned into a nervous chuckle.

“That’s fine, man. I don’t really- uh… want to go back.” Jake said, ready to ask to stay when his friend made a sound of mild distress. He frowned and looked at him questioningly, raising an eyebrow to indicate his inquiry.

Dwight visibly swallowed before he piped up, “Won’t your family be worried if you’re not there?”

“Angry, more like.”

“ _Jake_.” The other almost seemed to give a begging tone to the way he said the teen’s name and it worked only to make the younger one of the two more averse to the idea of returning. If it had just been about the fact that he was dead tired before, now he also just wanted to piss off his parents.

“It’s too far.”

Dwight said nothing for a moment, moving a hand up to his mouth and Jake blinked as he watched the other nervously bite at his nails. Huh… That was a first.

He was pulled out of his wonderment when his friend sighed, however.

“I... guess you’re right.”

Another moment of silence passed between them before Dwight spoke up again, “You can stay, if you want.”

Jake breathed out slowly but he nodded, momentarily forgetting about his concussion and hissing when the movement upsets the bump on his head. He reached up, placing a hand to the sore spot, trying to ease the pain away that way.

Realising that he had closed his eyes, Jake forced them back open and was met with the sight of Dwight looking at him with worry.

  
Again.

 

Still?

  
…

  
“I’m okay.” He muttered before the other could ask, “I’ve got a concussion. That’s all.”

“Oh.” Dwight looked at him, still frowning, “Do I… have to do something? Are there like- do you need medicine? I don’t think I have anyt-”

“No, Dwight. Seriously. It’s fine. I just- I just need to be woken up every two hours to make sure I’m not in a coma.” Right. Jake had briefly forgotten about that bit. Well, who cared about the details?

The teen blinked then glanced at the watch on his wrist, the one Jake had given him, before he dropped his arm and smiled and all of a sudden, Jake was acutely aware of his own fatigue as well as the weariness etched onto Dwight’s expressions, “We should get to bed then, if we want to get some rest.”

The slightly taller one of the duo looked at his friend, taking a moment before he smiled, “I don’t have to drag a mattress into your room this time, do I?”

Dwight visibly blushed but shook his head and waved a hand dismissively, “No,” He said, “We’ll- we can… share my bed. If you’re okay with that.”

Jake knew the other had a single bed.

And despite the fact that his brain was telling him this was probably an awful idea if he wanted to keep his crush a secret, his gut warmed and his heart beat just a bit faster in his chest, his mouth moving before his rationality could stop him, “Yeah. I am.”

A few minutes later, Jake was dressed in one of Dwight’s spare shirts and PJ pants and he slid under the covers beside his friend, happy to be there even if he was a little nervous. Dwight set an alarm to go off in a couple hours and before long the two of them lay beside one another, each on an opposite edge of the bed with their backs turned to each other and very much trying not to touch in the slightest.

It wasn’t the best, Jake admit to himself, but it still beat being by himself at home in a bed too big for just him.

As he started to finally doze off, pleasantly warm under the covers, he faintly heard a deep sigh coming from behind him but before he could think to ask Dwight what was up, sleep took him and he sunk into blissful oblivion.


	11. When This Day is Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High School has to end sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this... An early update? Enjoy, friends. :)

It was probably supposed to be a good day. Graduation was something everyone always talked about like it was the end-goal. Everything goes towards it. You should be happy that you’re graduating. 

It doesn’t really feel like that though. It doesn’t feel good. As he looks over the crowd of people gathered to celebrate all these kids finishing their high school education, Dwight can only manage to sigh. 

He and Jake had been… drifting apart - Could he call it that? - for a good few weeks now. Mostly due to the fact that his friend hadn’t been allowed to do anything but school and then when he got hit by that baseball… Well, it’d felt like maybe Dwight had dreamt up this whole friendship thing. Jake hadn’t been anywhere to be found and even now Dwight was having a hard time spotting the other teen. But he has to be around the ceremony right now, somewhere. He has to be. 

There hadn’t been any reports on the teenager’s death in the newspapers. Dwight had checked. Every day for a solid three days. Until Jake had climbed through his window that one night, looking like he was ready to throw up. And then actually throwing up. 

Either way, during finals, Dwight hadn’t been able to find Jake anywhere, not even at the very end of it all. They’d texted a little bit whenever his friend could manage to get his hands on his phone but then it just went dead-silent on Jake’s end and honestly, Dwight had briefly thought his friend was dead. 

But if he were, Dwight was sure it would at least get mentioned at school at some point. And it hadn’t. So… Jake is alive. Probably.

It's worrisome, to say the least. He knows about the whole… family situation… that Jake is dealing with and honestly it doesn’t help. But his family wouldn’t miss the graduation, would they? It’s what they wanted for the teen, so Dwight has a hard time imagining them sitting it out. Then again, he didn’t have any trouble picturing the teen’s parents being disdainful towards the public educational system. 

Still, even at the very end of the ceremony, after everyone has been up on stage and shook hands and tossed their damn cap into the air, Dwight still hasn’t spotted Jake anywhere. He must not be at the ceremony then.

As Dwight gets in the backseat of his grandparents’ car, his stomach feels heavy with worry and disappointment. He wishes he could’ve talked with Jake; he misses his friend more than he feels comfortable with, truth be told. It hurts something fierce every time the spectacled teen’s mind conjures up an image of Jake and it hurts even more when he realises that he has no idea what college Jake is going off to and when he will be leaving. 

The teen is no mood for food, but he forces small smiles and answers his grandparents’ questions about where he would like to eat for celebrations. Anything is fine. Dwight doesn’t say that he probably won’t eat much. He’s glad for his grandfather and grandmother being there for him, and somewhere inside, he’s also happy to know that his parents would be joining them as well. They had actually come to the graduation and were in fact driving behind them, so it all felt special but… still. Dwight wishes for his friend. He wants Jake to be there with him. 

“Are you okay back there, dear?” 

The teen blinks when he hears the elderly lady in the front seat speak up, his gaze focusing and shifting to the front of the car, “Yeah! Yeah- I’m just-”

“Oh, it’s all so exciting, isn’t it? A new chapter of your life, oh, Dwighty, I understand completely.”  
He smiles and nods, because it’s easier than to explain what he’s truly thinking. 

“Yeah.” He agrees, “Yeah, I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet.”

“Well, kiddo, you should probably go ‘round town and see if any places need some extra hands. That’s how I got my job when I was your age, you know.”

“Ah. Yeah, grandpa… That’s a good idea.”

Dwight sits through the entirety of the day, smiling for his family and picking at his food but managing to eat most of it when his grandmother turns a critical eye on him. Once the festivities are over and he steps out of his parents’ car, looking up at the house he grew up in, he gets the sudden urge to just leave. He doesn’t know where he would even go, or how he would get there, but something inside of him tells him to just go. Find his own home, build his own life, get Jake! 

He has to take a deep breath to reel himself back in. 

Maybe one day. As of now, he still doesn’t have a job. 

So he wordlessly follows his mom and dad inside, tells them he’s really tired from all the impressions today once they’re all stood in the hallway and then proceeds to climb the stairs and shut the door to his room behind him as soon as he is within its sanctuary. The room is spotless; in his unrest and anxiety, he’d cleaned and tidied every hour or so. He may even have silently hoped for Jake to climb through his window again in the middle of the night, and hey, if he did, Dwight didn’t want his room to be a pigsty. 

God, why does he feel so awful? 

Dwight twirls the leather bands on his wrist as he tries not to give in to the tears that want to fill his eyes. This was stupid. He was too old to be crying over not seeing his friend. 

Ha.

It almost felt reminiscent, standing in his room like this. Crying because he felt alone; because he didn’t have any friends. 

Turns out having someone and then losing them felt way worse than not having had them in the first place. Missing someone who’d been there once weighed on him heavier than coming up with imaginary people to hang out with him in his dreams did. 

Knowing it probably won’t do any good, Dwight still takes his phone out of his pocket as he moves to sit on his bed, wiping his eyes quickly as he successfully fights off the proper tears. He hesitates as he stares at Jake’s name on the screen, wondering if he really wants to be disappointed again but his thumb presses the call button before he can finish pondering the answer to his own question. He lifts the device to his ear, listening to the ring, his fingers fidgeting and tugging on his shirt’s hem.  
Just as he’s about to give up, there’s a click on the other end of the line. 

Dwight holds his breath, his eyes widening as hope fills his heart and he sits up immediately. His whole body jumping to attention. 

“Hey-” He hears Jake say.

“Jake! Jake, dude, where were y-”

“- you reached my voicemail. If it’s important, leave a message.”

Dwight’s words die in his throat and he deflates instantly. He feels his bottom lip start to tremble as the sound of the beep comes through his phone’s speaker. He says nothing. Even after a good few seconds of the device recording the silence, Dwight can’t get any words out. Eventually, all he manages to do is mutter a quiet and defeated ‘sorry’ before he hangs up. 

The teen leans to the side until he falls over and onto his bed, his hand still clutching phone to his palm. It feels like a brick. The world feels like it’s pressing down on him. He doesn’t like this. He wishes he could talk to Jake about how sad he is that he can’t talk to Jake. Funny. The only person he wanted to talk about Jake to, was Jake. 

Dwight pulls his knees up to his chest and uncurls his fingers from the device, letting go of it. He shuts his eyes and listens to the distant sounds of cars driving by. Turning his attention to himself, he finds that he can hear the quiet beating of his heart in his chest and it distracts from the ache. But only so much. He’s tired. 

The next thing he knows, he hears a soft knock on his door and when he opens his eyes and sits up, he sees his mother entering his room with a small smile on her face. Dwight is confused for a moment, knowing very well that she hasn’t been in here in literal years. 

“Mom?” He croaks, his voice rough from his accidental nap.

“Hey, sweetheart.” She says before she sets down the mug she’s holding between her hands on his nightstand, “I just thought I’d get you some nice warm tea before bed, but by the looks of it I’m a little late.”

Dwight blinks at her, still puzzled by her presence, “Yeah I- I guess.”

She nods, also taking a moment before she speaks up again, “Listen, Dwight… I know your Dad and I aren’t always around-”

An understatement. 

“- But, sweetie, I want you to know I’m proud of you.”

Dwight blinks again. He stares at her then glances at the mug before his gaze returns to his mother. He doesn’t know what to say, so he does what he’s good at, and he says nothing. 

“You really managed to get your grades up this year and you graduated! Gosh, my little boy is growing up so fast, I almost can’t believe it.” She chuckles to herself for a moment and Dwight can’t help but feel a little sick. Flashes of his birthday a couple months ago present themselves to his mind’s eye and he’s a little more sad than he was before she said that. Maybe if his mom had been there for his birthdays, maybe then she could believe it.

“Anyway, honey…”

“… Yeah?”

“I- I just uhm.”

Apparently talking wasn’t one of the Fairfield talents. 

“I… will be proud of you no matter what.” She finished, giving a determined nod and the teen is about to thank her, because he feels like he should, when completely unexpectedly, the older woman reaches out and ruffles her son’s hair. Dwight’s throat closes up immediately and his eyes water all over again. He turns down his gaze though, so his mother doesn’t see, and he mutters.

“Okay.”

She nods again and takes her hand back, “Don’t let it go cold.” She says and with that, she gets up from the bed and quietly leaves his room again, shutting the door and leaving behind an emotional wreck. 

Dwight doesn’t know how to feel. He reaches up his own hand to touch his hair where his mother’s had lain and before he knows it, the tears are coming in a steady stream and he lets out a soft keen. 

The teen cries because his mother hasn’t touched him God knows how long, he cries because she’s proud of him, he cries because he knows he’ll fuck it up, he cries because he’s overwhelmed with so many feelings. 

He cries because he misses his best friend. 

Dwight hiccups and sobs into his hands until pulls his knees up further and buries his face in them instead. He pauses only when he hears footsteps on the stairs and he listens as his parents move about in the bathroom before finally retiring to their bedroom. 

He sniffles. He wipes his nose. He carefully takes his glasses off and sets them down on the nightstand, beside the cooling tea. They weren’t good for anything anymore, anyway. The tears that had fallen onto them impaired any vision he could’ve had. 

Dwight is… tired, more than anything. He still occasionally hiccups but he manages to take a small sip of the lukewarm beverage, hating how shaky his hands were. 

Soon, the teen managed to undress and change into PJs. He crawls under the covers and, watching the approaching dark settling in for the night outside, Dwight tells himself a more than familiar lie. 

He’d feel better in the morning. 

Just wait and see.

The teen doesn’t need to believe it, he just needs it to settle his mind long enough for him to fall asleep. And when sleep does come and claim him, Dwight knows that nothing will change when he wakes up tomorrow morning.

Jake doesn’t pick up his phone over the course of the next couple of weeks and after that, Dwight can’t bring himself to keep trying. 

One day, though, a month after Dwight gets his first job at PizzaWhat!, Jake replies to his texts but by then, it doesn’t feel the same and the conversation feels forced.

The two of them lose contact entirely early October.  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short! It's really short! But- hey. It's emotional.  
> Anyway!! Ya can find my on tumblr @hawke-enthusiast OR @skeletical-writing to yell at me about this chapter or if you just want to chat!


	12. Look What You've Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College is mandatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Christmas miracle!! Chapter 12 is finally finished. :') 
> 
> Happy Holidays, my friends. Enjoy the chapter.

College was kicking his ass. More so than Jake had expected before he even started and he had expected it would. Very much. So, clearly, he was having the worst time of his life.

 

The whole living on his own thing was working out just fine, don’t get him wrong. He has a pretty great roommate in the apartment his father had bought for the young adult; Leonel is laidback and doesn’t complain about any bullshit idea Jake manages to think up and execute. Even if it means the kitchen ends in an exploded giant of a mess or if it means waking up to finding bunch of strangers passed out on their shared couch in the living room.

 

Jake half-suspects it’s because the other is allowed to live there for next to nothing. After all, the younger of the two had arranged for his classmate to come live with him with his cut-throat father for a low fee. Leonel was one of those kids who got into this college with no help other than his honest to God brains; onei of the few who didn’t have a rich family to back them. The guy could clearly use every windfall. Jake feels bad enough about taking up a slot at the damn ‘prestigious’ school and wasting it; he can hardly keep himself from trying to help students like Leonel in whatever way he can. Without seeming like he pities them, of course.

 

But also, it had kind of seemed like he’d do better to blend in with the other students: have a roommate (despite not being in dorms), go to parties, go crazy and show up to lectures still drunk.  
It was half-way of a good time, when he could forget the rest of his life. He still feels the ever looming presence of pressure to succeed hanging over him, embodied by his family. Either through the form of phone calls or the rare visit from his mother or brother. Both of them telling him that he should probably take the whole studying aspect more seriously.

 

Jake knows he isn’t doing great in the education department. He doesn’t need people to tell him that.  


Honestly, the first year hadn’t even been so bad. Still in the swing of studying at high school and with fresh determination to show his father that he could do exactly as his brother did after an outrageous ‘disagreement’, he’d managed to pass enough of his classes to move on to the second year.

 

That year had been… interesting. He’d had a definite decrease in his motivation and hadn’t gone to any lectures other than the mandatory ones. But the threat of cutting him off had loomed over his head heavily enough that Jake did what he had to do just to pass, again. Honestly, he had only gotten to year 3 by the skin of his teeth which had been an annoyance even to himself. He didn’t want people to think he was stupid… However most of that year had now passed as well and summer was rapidly approaching, but Jake hasn’t seen the inside of a lecture hall in a good few months. Leo had only said something about it once, most-likely worried that he’d end up homeless if Jake dropped out.

 

Well, he wouldn’t be wrong. That might just be the case, though it wouldn’t be Jake’s choice.

 

The warning, though, had been met with a cutting remark from Jake at the time and that had been it. His roommate hadn’t mentioned it again after that.

 

Jake would feel bad about it, if he hadn’t raised an enormous wall between the outside world and himself that shields him and all his problems and worries from prying eyes.

 

Sometimes, Jake really misses Dwight. Leonel is cool and all, but he isn’t at all like his high school best friend.

 

As he’s sat on his unmade bed, scrolling on his phone, he wonders what Dwight Fairfield was up to these days. Hopefully doing better than he was. It had sucked, how they just… stopped talking to each other. Of course; his father had had a hand in it. After all, over summer, Jake hadn’t been allowed his old phone back, – though he had managed to occasionally snatch it from wherever it had been hidden from him - receiving a new one instead under the guise of a ‘graduation present’. In truth, the teen had suspected it had been about taking away any distraction that Dwight could’ve posed to him.

 

Which, honestly, was stupid. It wasn’t like Jake felt like he had a choice on what he was supposed to do anyway. He’d been aware of the fact that he had to go to college. Although… Maybe he would’ve fought a little harder to go a college closer-by… As it was now, Jake is on the other side of the damn country to waste his family’s money on an education he wasn’t enjoying or putting effort into anymore.

 

The reason why Dwight is on his mind now, though, is because tomorrow he’s going off on his trip to go camping with a couple of friends before heading straight back to his hometown to visit his family just in time for the summer tradition that his mother begged him to be present for.

Jake had never really enjoyed the family summer party dinner; it was never just their family. Friends from his mother’s, bigwigs and their families that were in his father’s line of work were somehow always present as well.

 

This year though, his mom had promised, was going to be different. It was just going to be the four of them.

 

Jake isn’t sure if that’s better or worse. On the one hand, he won’t have to pretend to be anything else than he really is, but on the other hand… He knows he’ll be honed in on by his family the second he walks through the door. He can practically hear his father’s scorning, off-handed comments already.

 

Yeah. He isn’t looking forward to going home at all.

 

With a groan, he falls onto his bed, lying on his side as he plays around with his phone. He replies to a couple of texts then tosses the device onto his nightstand with a disgruntled huff. Thinking about his family managed to lower his mood so severely so quickly, it should honestly be more alarming than it was. _The things you can get used to…_

 

Jake shifts to lie on his back instead, putting a hand behind his head and simply stares up at his ceiling. He hears Leo moving around in the kitchen; grabbing pots and pans to cook. The student’s stomach immediately rumbles and Jake sits back up. He hadn’t even thought about dinner tonight. Sighing, he grabs his phone again and gets up, slipping it into his pocket before he leaves his room.

 

“What’cha making?” He asks as he wanders into the kitchen, finding Leonel behind the stove.

 

The other stays silent for a moment, focused on measuring the right amount of sour cream before he looks up and smiles at Jake, “Chicken fajitas. I had a craving.” The blonde chuckles and Jake almost feels put-off by his cheeriness, but he remembers that he’d be an absolute dick if he allowed himself to be annoyed by someone being _happy_.

 

“Sounds good, man. Lemme know how they turned out.” He says, clapping his roommate over the shoulder before he continues on towards the hallway, slipping on his shoes there.

 

“You going out?” Leonel calls right before the sizzling of food in a hot pan reaches Jake’s ears and his stomach reminds him that he hasn’t eaten any lunch either.

 

“Yeah. Forgot to get food.” He answers, tapping the toes of his shoes on the floor to get them on properly as he sticks his arms into his jacket sleeves.

 

There is a suspicious silence on Leo’s end of the conversation but Jake thinks nothing of it as he checks his pocket for his keys and wallet. He already has his hand on the doorknob by the time his roommate pipes up again, “Do you wanna share?” He asks and Jake knows enough to feel guilty. He shakes his head, then remembers that the other can’t see.

 

“Nah, it’s okay. I leeched off of you yesterday already. I’ll be back later.” And with that, he opens the door and steps out of their shared apartment, his stomach still protesting and sitting heavy in his belly. Goddamn it.

 

Jake shoves his hands into his pockets as he leaves the building, feeling a frown settling on his brow as he tries to figure out where to go and what to get. He briefly entertains the thought of inviting someone out to come with him but quickly discards that. He is by no means a social butterfly and he doesn’t feel quite as recharged as he should to maintain a sociable aura tonight. So, instead of that, he ducks into the first fast food chain he can find and orders himself the shittiest food he can think of and doesn’t feel sorry in the slightest when he pays for it with his family’s money. He enjoyed spiting his father in the smallest ways he could, even if it in just spending the man’s money in places he wouldn’t want to be found dead.

 

When he’s sat at a table that is suspiciously sticky, Jake finds himself tired of moments like this. Especially because just like always, he remembers when Dwight told him he ate too much of this crap too often. _Heh_ , he was a legal adult by now and the other was still right, even a few years down the line. Imagine that.

 

_Fuck sake._

 

Jake was predictable. He hated that. He didn’t want to be predictable.

 

But now that he thought about it; wasn’t he doing exactly what his family was expecting him to do? Flunk out and be a dumbass? Sure, he knew that wasn’t what they _wanted_ , but wasn’t it so _predictable_ for the youngest member of the family to just- just….

 

_Fuck._

 

He doesn’t want to think about this anymore.

 

The student begrudgingly puts a single fry in his mouth and chews with a frown on his face. He hated that he even let himself be convinced time and again to keep trying for a family that doesn’t appreciate his efforts, even when he’s actually trying his best. Yet here he was, still going through the motions and planning to go see them at his mother’s request. Maybe the truth of the matter was that he was afraid to be without them? After all, family is forever, even if you don’t like them and they don’t like you. Blood binds.

 

Jake struggles with that thought for a long moment, his fingers mindlessly playing with a fry before he finally submits to his own mind and sinks further into it before he finally manages to start eating his ‘dinner’ in earnest.

 

When he finishes his food, he drags his feet on his way home. Leonel greets him when he opens the door and even invites him to come watch a horror movie that just started on the TV in the living room, but Jake can’t bring himself to indulge. Instead he offers a forced smile and shakes his head, “I’m pretty tired. Gonna retire early.”

 

Leo good-naturedly tells him good night and the young adult heads into his room, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click. He looks at the pile of supplies in the corner of the room; ready to packed into his car first thing in the morning. The tent calls to him and Jake almost wishes he could abandon the group and just go by himself. Of course; that’d be weird for someone of his standing to do. That was honestly the only reason he even asked people to come along with him. He wanted to go be wild for a little while, see nature and shit. But that wouldn’t fly around here, so he invited a couple of guys to get shitfaced with him in the woods instead.

 

It would have to do.

 

Jake moves to check if he has everything again, even though he’s done it at least three times already and didn’t come up with anything he was missing those times either. To no one’s surprise, he does indeed have everything of importance and with that knowledge he takes off his clothes; kicking his jeans off without a care for where they end up and falls into bed.

 

Trying not to let his mind wander, he sets an alarm and scratches at the stubbles growing on his chin. He shaved that morning, damn it. Jake grumbled a little to himself as he settled under the covers; his facial hair grew too quickly. He really wished he didn’t have to keep up with it but ‘ _appearances matter, Jake’_. His mood sours as he hears the words in his mother’s voice and he practically hides his head under the blankets.

 

Still agitated, Jake ends up falling asleep an hour later and wakes only when his alarm tells him to do so, in the most obnoxious way only a morning alarm can.

 

He rolls out of bed, knowing without having to check that his hair is standing up in every direction but he doesn’t do more than run a hand through it to smooth the worst it down. After that, he quickly gets ready and grabs all the camping supplies and backpack, packing it into his car efficiently. He picks up his friends from their dorms and from there on out, the road trip has begun. Jake is fairly sure he’s doing a good job of pretending to be enjoying his company.

 

The four days exhaust him and by the time he drops off the other guys at the nearest train station, Jake is glad to be able to drop the smile from his face for a little bit. For the remainder of the drive home, he allows his features to relax and he turns the volume of the radio up enough so that he doesn’t have to think about anything else but the traffic and the music in the car.

 

He pulls into his childhood house’s driveway bone-weary, reluctant and probably a bit smelly. The last one doesn’t bother him much, he has to admit. When he climbs out of the car, he barely manages to convince himself to tug his clothes into proper order before he heads inside through the door one of the servants helpfully holds for him.

 

The first thing he wants to do is head to his old room and change and shower but that plan is put on hold when his mother ducks her head into the hallway and sees him. Bracing himself for whatever may come, Jake stands still and mutters a quiet, “I’m home.”

 

Though the words feel heavy on his tongue and somehow make his heart sink in a way that is strangely unfamiliar yet doesn’t feel like it should be a surprise. He parks this realisation for now because his mother is walking towards him with her arms stretched out and open. He just stands there as she finally reaches him and wraps herself around his taller frame. Jake feels obligated to wrap his own arms around her in return but it’s a very loose hold, especially compared to the way the woman is practically squeezing the air out of him.

 

“Jakey!” She says, “Oh, I’m so happy to see you! Welcome home.” The genuineness of it isn’t lost on Jake and he can’t help the sudden feeling of guilt that settles in his stomach like a brick. He manages a small smile for her when she pulls away to look at him.

 

“How was the trip? You went camping with some friends, didn’t you?”

 

“It was fun.” He says, honestly a little surprised that she remembered. He himself didn’t even remember if he even told her in the first place, to be honest.

 

“That’s good, that’s good! Well, why don’t you go upstairs and freshen up a little,” Ah, so he did stink, “and then join us in the sitting room, okay? Alex arrived just a bit ago as well and we’re all dying to see you.”

 

The guilt turned into reluctance instantly and Jake doubted that his father and brother really were anywhere near excited to see the failure of the family return home.

 

He simply nods and does as he’s told. He dumps his bag onto the floor of the hallway, pushing it against the wall with his foot before he turns and starts climbing the stairs. As he makes his way upstairs, he can only think about the fact that his father is a big successful CEO and his brother a Yale Honours graduate and what is Jake? About to fail his third year in college, that’s what. Even when he steps under the warm spray of the shower, he can’t stop thinking about the fact that he’s not doing what he’s supposed to be doing with his life and feeling guilty about it and on top of that, feeling _angry_ that he feels guilty in the first place. After all, why should he have to do what they tell him to do? It’s _his_ life.

 

But it’s also the life they gave him, isn’t it? They raised him, fed him, financially supported him… Would it really hurt him to just study properly?

 

Jake groans, running his hand over his face, the water cascading down and off of his body as he struggles with his thoughts. It shouldn’t be this difficult to figure out.

 

Well, it doesn’t matter. He is going to flunk this year anyway.

 

When he feels like the dirt is all gone from his body, Jake exits the shower and dries himself off, even shaves before he wanders into his room and inspects the clothes he left behind in the closet here. Feeling like he ought to ‘put effort’ into looking nice for the stupid dinner, he throws on a nice black jacket with a patterned white button up underneath. He looks at the light blue muffler his mother gifted him for his birthday a couple years ago, decides that he might as well, and tosses it around his neck but he doesn’t bother taking the necklace that is already there off. The ensemble feels wrong on him, as if he’s wearing a costume. But he knows it’s what his Mom loves to see on him, so he sighs and sucks it up. Not wanting to get too dressed up, though, he picks out some simple black jeans to wear before he decides it’s time to face the music.

 

Reluctantly, he makes his way back down after dallying with putting on his shoes.

 

Once he steps into the sitting room, he’s greeted with the sight of his family sat around. His mother is sitting on one of the sofas, smiling as she watches Alex play the piano and his father is seated in the comfiest chair of all, his eyes shut as he listens to the music.

 

Jake immediately feels like an outsider; a stranger in his own childhood house.

 

He waits for his brother to finish the song before he clears his throat and speaks up, “Hey- uh… I’m home.”

 

Alex looks up and offers a small nod with an even smaller smile that makes Jake’s stomach hurt. When they were younger, they used to be good brothers. Close, almost. But now, seeing Alex smile at Jake? It made him feel uncomfortable.

 

“Jakey! Come sit with us, sweetie,” His mother pats the sofa, gesturing for her son to join her there and with reluctance, he does as she requests and sits down, having to resist sinking into the comfortable cushions completely, “I’m happy to see you’re wearing the muffler! It’s so nice on you.”

 

“Good to see you home, son.” His father says, having opened his eyes to watch Jake cross the room before he turns to Alex again, “You took well to the piano lessons.”

 

His brother looks proud, happy to have been praised by their father and Jake can’t resist rolling his eyes. He’s sure nobody has seen him do it until his father speaks once more, “It’s a shame you didn’t, Jake.”

 

Instantly, the student’s mood sours and he shrugs, trying to not get too defensive too quickly, “I’m not musically talented.” He says before he clears his throat again, looking for a different topic to talk about, “So… uh… Alex, no wife yet?”

 

His brother pauses, mild confusion on his face before he shakes his head, “No,” He says slowly, “Not yet.”

 

“Too busy with work to meet girls. I get it.” Jake replies, waving a hand and feigning innocence when he knows damn well he’s trying to tease Alex.

 

Alex, in turn, looks a little put off but continues as if Jake hadn’t just tried to take a shot at him, “I’m guessing that you do have a girlfriend then, considering how little time you spent on your studies.”

 

And just like that, the semi-relaxed atmosphere dissipates completely and Jake sits up, walls rising.

 

“I don’t, actually.” He says, hating how he still hasn’t had the balls to come out to his family yet. He considers it very briefly right now, but thinks better of it. There is absolutely no telling how they’d all react and honestly, he doesn’t feel like risking it just for the short gratification of seeing Alex’s expression at Jake saying his last date was with a guy.

 

“Alex, don’t you have that sweet girl from university that you used to be involved with?”

 

Thankfully, his mother picks up the conversation and it allows Jake to fall silent once more. He sighs and takes a sip from the drink his father’s butler handed him earlier. God, he hates this.

 

From that point on, Jake prefers to keep his mouth shut and only answer when someone asks him a question directly but even when they finally sit down at the dinner table that has been lavishly set and decorated, Jake is reluctant to speak.

 

Halfway through the main course, his father says his name and it’s so startling that the student looks up from his mostly empty plate, feeling almost like a deer in the headlights.

 

“Yeah?” He asks, putting down his cutlery. He really isn’t sure what is about to happen.

 

“How is school?”

 

The youngest member of the family freezes and he breathes out slowly, trying to keep from showing any signs of discomfort, “Uh-” He starts, ever so eloquent, “It’s… fine. But… uhm.”

 

“But?”

 

“… Well, I-” Really, he has to come clean sometime. He can’t hide flunking, not from these people. So he _has_ to say it. It’s so difficult though, somehow.

 

“I am- not… I didn’t-”

 

The silence and expectant look on the older man’s face makes Jake fumble and he has no idea what words to use.

 

“Your grades are not sufficient.” Is all his father has to say, and Jake knows it’s a guess on his part, but it’s shameful to know he’s so predictable.

 

“… Yeah. That.”

 

“Hm.” His father makes a thoughtful sound, still chewing on a bite before he swallows and speaks, “Why do you waste this education I gift you?”

 

Jake stares at his father, his eyes wide and his fists clenching under the table.

 

“… I never wanted to do it.” He says quietly, quick to drop his gaze, frowning.

 

“You don’t want to, so you won’t?” God, why is that man so calm all the goddamn time?

 

“ _You_ want me to do it. I don’t see why I-”

 

“Because it’s a gift, Jacob.”

 

“Well, I don’t want your fucking gift.” He says through his teeth and is immediately rewarded with a whack on the back of his head from Alex while his mother exclaims that he shouldn’t cuss before she scolds her eldest son for using violence. The only reaction his father shows is a raise of a single eyebrow before the man returns his gaze to the food on his plate and calmly returns to cutting his steak.

 

Jake fumes and the rational part of his brain warns him not to lose it. Well, to hell with it. If this is what his family thought and if Jake knows he can’t deliver, why should he try to keep up appearances to his own flesh and blood?

 

“I’m not doing it.” He says, managing to keep his voice level and his gaze on his father, “I don’t want to do it. I’m not _good_ at school things, I’ve never _been_ good at school things! I told you this before! I don’t want to do it anymore!”

 

He doesn’t notice the volume of his voice raising until, in the corner of his eyes, he sees his mother try to gesture for him to quiet down. It makes his blood boil further.

 

“You still act like you’re a rebellious teen, Jacob.” His father says, not looking at him. The only one who calls him that is his father and oh, how he loathes the name. He’s about to say something about it when his brother speaks from beside him.

 

“Grow up, life isn’t about what you want to do.” Alex tells him and a single glance at him is enough to see that he’s pissed off. Well, that made two of them. Who the hell did he think he was, trying to lecture Jake about anything?  

 

“Fuck you and fuck your goddamn need to please Dad. You’re no fucking better than a stupid lapdog.”

 

“What did you just say to me?!” Alex rises out of his chair as he raises his voice and Jake will later look back on this moment and realise that he’s relieved and happy to be able to rile his brother up and to get his own frustrations out, but for now, he’s mad and that’s all he can feel and think and breathe. He jumps up from his own chair, knocking his hip into the table painfully but ignoring it. The silverware and glasses are still finding their balance again after being disturbed so suddenly when he opens his mouth to retort.

 

“You heard me!”

 

“Boys!” Their mother’s voice is unheard to them as the brothers glare at one another.

 

Alex remains silent for a beat too long and Jake _needs_ to argue and fight with somebody and his older brother is the perfect target, “What?” He says, forcing a smirk, “Deaf to anyone else but Dad? You only use those ears to follow his orders, that right?”

 

“Watch your mouth, Jake.” Alex says, apparently trying to feign their father’s infuriating calmness but failing miserably at it. He’s shaking with anger, his brow is furrowed and most importantly, the words are hissed at him and Jake knows he can win this argument.

 

“Or what? You’re gonna tell on me? Sorry, but you can’t tattle if Mom and Dad are here to see it for themselves, Alex.”

 

Jake risks a short glance over to his father who still, _still_ is keeping his gaze on his food, even as he chews casually, like his two sons aren’t raising hell on the opposite end of the long table. The youngest of the family turns his eyes back on his brother and sees him struggling to keep his composure. Poor Alex, he thinks to himself, doesn’t know he’s already lost it.

 

“There’s nothing you can do to me, man. You’re not the boss of me. None of you are.”

 

“Father can disown you.” And Alex looks almost smug when he says it, as if he thinks he has Jake by the balls now.

 

“Do it.”

 

Wait.

 

“Fucking do it.”

 

Wait, he should probably think about this before he says it.

 

“I’ll finally be fucking rid of you and you of me! Isn’t that what we all want? I’m a blemish on the ‘grand’ Park name anyway!”

 

Jake speaks before he can think but he doesn’t find any regret in himself when he does. So… he keeps going.

 

“It’s what you want, you just didn’t have a good enough excuse ‘till now,” He says, finally directing his words to the head of the family who merely touches the corners of his mouth with his napkin, “Well here it is. Disown me! Be done with it.”

 

“Jake, sweetheart, just sit down-” His mother tries to calm him and reaches for his arm but Jake pulls away from her touch so violently, his chair gets shoved back another good distance before it skids and falls over with a loud thud.  

 

“No!” His breath his coming shorter and he’s just _so angry_. “ _No!_ ”

 

“Go to your room, son.” Finally, his father speaks and Jake’s head whips around to look at him. He doesn’t need to see Alex to know he’s smug.

 

“What?”

 

“You heard him, Jake.” His brother says. The anger turns to hatred and rolls in his gut so ugly that it almost makes Jake want to throw up.

 

“I’m not a fucking fifteen year old.” He grits out.

 

“You’re acting like one. So you force me to treat you like one.” Finally, the older man raises his gaze to meet his son’s eyes and he doesn’t seem the least bit angry or even upset. Not a single hair out of place. Always composed, always collected.

 

Always so good at making Jake’s blood boil.

 

“I’ll do you one better.” Jake says, narrowing his eyes, “I’m leaving and I’m never coming back to this den of snakes.” He says, taking a step back from the table, allowing his gaze to travel from his father, to his brother, to his mother and finally back to the patriarch.

 

“Jake, don’t be-” Credit to his Mom, at least she kept trying.

 

“Say goodbye to your apartment, then, idiot. Have fun being homeless.”

 

“Alex!” His mother sounds distressed and Jake would feel bad about it if she had ever tried to see things his way.

 

Jake refused to keep in the laugh that bubbled up however, “Humans are the fucking worst.” He says, the epiphany hitting him and the only thing he wants in that moment is go back to the forest. Become one with nature. Fuck all these rules, all this etiquette. People were doomed the moment they thought there were anything more than animals and the prime example of it is sitting right in front of him.

 

“Don’t try to find me.” He says before he turns and leaves the room, snatching his bag of clothes from the hallway on his way out before he steps out of the front door, slamming it behind himself. Just in time to cut off his mother’s pleading for him to come back.

 

No one else tries to stop him as he gets into his car, backs out of the driveway and speeds off to a wilderness he’d marked as his favourite when he was a teen. A forest of which he had good memories.

 

He doesn’t stop until he can’t drive any further into the wild. There, he stops the car, kills the engine and gets out.

 

He collects his tent and other camping necessities from the trunk before he pushes further into the woods, leaving the vehicle behind. He disappears between the trees and keeps walking further and further in. When the sun disappears and the moon makes itself seen from high up above the tree tops, Jake sets up his camp next to a clearing, making use of the pale light that manages to filter through the ceiling of leaves.

 

He turns off his phone when he’s sat inside of his tent once it’s up, ignoring the fact that his mother called him countless times. He tosses the device into his bag and lies down, listening to the wind tugging at branches, the nocturnal critters waking up. Living their life; trying to survive another night. Worrying about important things like their next meal. He relishes in the lack of engines, lack of street lights, lack of human presence.

 

Jake decides then, in that moment, that he doesn’t want to return to civilisation. Not if he can help it.

 

Becoming feral never sounded as good as it does here and now, a safe haven where his family can’t reach him. Where there are no shackles to hold him down or force him to do useless things. No pressure to do anything but survive.

 

He breathes out and turns to lie on his side, the realisation that he is _free_ setting in and he can’t quite smile at it, but he feels relief.

 

Jake feels like he can finally breathe.

 

“Sorry, Leonel,” He mutters into the cooling air, “Looks like you’re gonna need to find a new place to live.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, Jakey. 
> 
> Two more chapters left to go, boys... Let's hope it ends happily, yeah? :)


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